Chapter 30-31-32 - Progress, BJ, Electronics Plus CS

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of
Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 1 | P a g e ## 2022-12-22 – Evidence 30A – Reviewing Progress Updates Dr. Marvin Notes Pt arrived on time. Partner's family are staying with them and were present in the background. Dogs are getting along better which is progress. Reviewed several interactions. Reviewed updates to schedule and writing. Has been able to keep up with notes/schedule. Expressed some uncertainty about options for next part to review/summarize. Validated process and being successful in creating a succinct summary. Reviewed several session items - news items, interactions with family - - overall going well, had one uncomfortable interaction around food/diabetes concern. Returned to discussion of dog interactions and watched several videos. Had PCP pre-op visit. Reviewed plans for procedure next week, how to ask for help with difficult part of maneuvering. Returned to review of writing process - excited to continue work, looking forward to next steps, some worries about being able to sustain process. Discussed goals - better self-awareness, legacy material, helping others. Explored thoughts/feelings about keeping up and , having confidence about the work. Validated grounding practices - committing to talking about things, working to understand the process, staying in the moment. Reviewed writer's leave next week. Global Improvement (CGI-C): Minimally improved Assessment: - Moods stable this interval. Managing having family staying with them and staying active with writing/home tasks. - Current writing project is to process writer's notes in collaboration with personal insights - making meaning of work/life - progressing. - Several ongoing medical follow-ups remain in process. Actively following up with appts. - Working to maintain progress with writing projects and balance with other activities. - Able to contract for safety. Assessment: - Writing project leading to ongoing self-reflection on parts and multiplicity. Some apprehension about being able to sustain/complete project. Able to make use of grounding techniques in session to stay in the moment and take next steps. - Review of home videos in background. Goal remains to process smaller pieces of the video as time allows. - Working on larger writing project (trauma narrative) - goals/product/audience. Moving forward on "case file" project.

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 2 | P a g e #2022-12-26 # 2022-12-26 – Evidence 30B – Any Morning Starting With Coffee is Fine - A Very Good Morning - How was sleep last night? - We had an incredibly good sleep last night. We had a pre-sleep, and then after Jillian and Chris came in and all the dogs started barking (4), we got back to sleep. We just had to use the washroom, and then put on our C-Pap mask, and we were down for the count. And, then we were the first ones to wake-up ... at about 7:00AM, and Rich became conscious next about 9:00AM, and then Jillian and Chris about 10:30AM. So, in general nothing to get excited about. We had coffee, dog tag, and a lot of friendly conversation before Rich prepared breakfast with Cinnamon rolls and Phan (dessert). It was good and plenty of coffee. Now finally after some extra dog "sitting" the showers have started. No not kidding. The dogs were all sitting on Rich and us. It was a good morning, and now we are about up to 12:32PM AND finally writing! - I do not know if Nihit got some sleep, but he was up earlier this morning sometime after we had signed on. We were just finishing updating the sessions to Word, especially with images. Yay! Yesterday, we went crazy with pictures and videos. Today after we charge our devises, we can show a few more. We will add the videos of Ginney and Peek-a-boo running and chasing after each other. Nihit has no idea what that looks like yet. Just we are charging now. Good girl! - How have we been (the previous day)? - Yesterday was the greatest as they say! We got things squared away as to the telling on the correspondence we left Nihit, but as to a general "what we remember now?" - Rich got a LOT of presents. Between me AND his daughter, it was like they would hardly stop, though I know that between his gifts, he was including my gifts at the same time. I got PLENTY. The biggest things (well beside all the socks we bought ourselves), We got two more beautiful buildings from Rich, and then

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 3 | P a g e Jillian and Chris, plus some smaller pieces to go in and between things. We figured they were coming. We get them every year ... something different and especially crazy exciting. Well, there was those gifts, and they were something! - There were some smaller gifts, but then the BIGGEST gift, was that Rich got me a phone cover. And, I am thinking I have avoided these things and my screen cracked, but then I saw it Galaxy S-22 Ultra - My gosh ... I was getting a whole gosh darn fricken phone! It was all a story yesterday talking to Chris and Jill ... It was ME getting the phone, and not Chris. I could not see that coming, if I had planned it myself. - Rich got all kinds of good stuff, I think we did well, and Jillian got him a bevy of shirts, flannels, sweatshirts. We got him more of the same, plus we got extra like hat's, "sort of like" gloves, but just two fingers to hold a light in each hand. He said, he would be able to use it when they get up in the dark to go fishing. The coolest thing we got him though was a special kit to place in car or boat for emergencies. It has 144 pcs. of stuff. We are hoping he will go over it with me later in the day. I want him to know in the back of his mind what he can do with it in case of emergency, including a little shovel in case he must go in the woods. Hehe. Teasing, teasing ... sort of. The biggest gift is that we are giving him a $500 gift certificate to shop at his favorite fishy store. Some things you gotta let him do on his own! - It was a good Christmas! Oh, and then Jillian and Chris went out again ... they have gone out every night they have been here, and then we have been watching the dogs. The dogs know our laps well. Plus, Ginney is having a blast with these little "toys!" We will leave a couple of links today! I understood after listening today, that Jillian and Chris will stay home on Wednesday the day of my procedure to watch the dogs, and then we will get them Friday when Chris makes his "famous" meatloaf with REAL green beans, bacon, and REAL mashed potatoes. I will be looking forward. It is their way of saying thank you. - I believe they are going home on Saturday/Sunday, and then Jillian will be coming back here for Rich's surgery which is on Friday the next week. I hear she may not be staying here ... It feels a little defeating in that instead of being here where her Dad might need her, she will be here at others. Though after he comes home, she will come back and help take care of him IF he does not need to go to a particular care facility for after surgery (especially older people). Without Chris and the dogs, Jillian is much more flexible to go to her other relatives’ houses. We will see. - One thing today about which we can get excited. - I can be excited that today is the day after Christmas, and Rich is home for one more day. He will go back to work tomorrow. We are trying to figure out how we can get our old phone loaded on the computer - with Chris' busy schedule. Rich is talking about taking my old phone WHEN he goes to work tomorrow, and then stopping by to get the new phone tomorrow. Chris says, we should have it reset to factory level before we hand it over to them. I do not know how that works with all my apps though. I might have to talk to SOMEONE! - Big deal is getting Chris' time before the showers begin and he gets home ... before though. They have been coming home around our bed time. We might have to just get the pictures, and such moved over, and have the phone guys move the apps, and then trust he is going to wipe it down to factory setting. That is something we can assure Rich will ask to watch as the phone people are doing it. He will not be as suspicious, but Chris is adamant that we do this before handing the phone over. I personally agree with him.

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 4 | P a g e - How would we deal with a stressful situation that could trip us up today. - We can be sure to → - We could trip up with having the dogs for yet another day. Rich is like asking us to wipe those thoughts out of our mind. He IS being good about getting the dogs. He even cleans up extra poop - Getting stuck behind wanting to order the Galaxy 4 watch that not delivered to our area. #2023-1-1 ## 2023-1-1 – Evidence 30C – A Brand New Year - A Very Good Morning - How was sleep last night? - Sleep was a little broken because we woke for washroom and stopped to play on the phone a couple times before I could finally sign on at 7:45AM and start talking to Nihit. We have been doing work in- between conversations. - We are excited that today is the first of the year. We want all that is in a BRAND-NEW YEAR - INCLUDING weight work with watch and phone, Nihit, and Rich. Rich still does not want to change what he is doing, but we can control the situation by doing things like control portion - or putting vegetables on half our plate as suggested by the Nutritionist. - How have we been (the previous day)? - Yesterday was a big day in that we woke up with Rich - or was woke by Rich to say goodbye to the kids. They did everything very efficiently the last hour and left only ten minutes late. They did a LOT of back-

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 5 | P a g e and-forth work in pulling together their life here over the last two weeks. I know we were not their first choice, but we were the best choice, in allowing so much space taken up and needs like washrooms, laundry, and kitchen. We were happy to share all of it with them, and we felt grateful that we had it to offer. AND, we had extra been to offer in helping them take care of the dogs while they had outside interests. There were a few times I felt pushed, and I am sure we pushed them too. She felt her father should not work so hard, which I agree, but then she turned it to me saying something like I do not work enough, because I had extra time. I felt she really did not understand the dynamics of me, our situation, or relationship to Rich. She also did not understand that when people are around, I freeze in space ... I do not risk bumping into people. So, while she was all over the kitchen, it was an impossibility of me being in that space. She kept adding, "I will do that" like taking over the doctor. She has not met him, but already thinks he is doing things wrong. BOTH Jillian and yesterday Chris asked about the will. It makes us worry. What do they think is going to happen? Rich will be fine. Rich told me yesterday, that I will be in charge, which might be resolving Jillian control issues, but we would make it through. I would love to have her council, but she is much too anxious, to be calm. I know she is fast and intelligent, but she does not understand boundaries fully. - There was one point, she was looking at her father's doctor reports, and she asked about the printer. We thought wait! I would not even print out Rich's personal documents without his permission, and he was standing in the kitchen so accessible to her. The first thing I recall hearing was, well she was his daughter, and then Chris came in with a hard duplication challenging my role as Rich's significant other of 28 years, because Jillian was his daughter. Wow! It is not even imaginable that one of my three sons stepped in challenging my domain. They might say, "have you thought of this," or "I am worried about that." But like Rich being responsible for him it is up to him, and he has no loss of capacity. While he is under or if there are further decisions, it would be me that was making of them. Rich told me yesterday directly could his kids make decisions for them. Sometimes Jillian and Chris would treat him like a child. She said something like, "I will make this decision," as if declaring it would make her in charge. - I love Jillian for all that I could, but even though I am not as assertive or as aggressive as her, I by no means bullied into things, especially in care of Rich. I feel strong in that I know he would be alive with a DNR, and that he wants buried not cremated, and we would respect these things, because it is his choices. Shoot, now I am thinking as if we need to think of death-defying medical procedures. I could see letting them see the will, I gave my kids a copy, and Rich was giving it to his kids. He at first said, no, he would give it to them when he was ready. - I saw Jillian go through those medical records pulling anything she wanted and expected without Rich's permission putting things in conversation with people she talks to like Rich's wife, or ex-SIL. She did not ask permission to change his contact list ... she should be there, but she just barged ahead, saying I will be putting my name here. As if, she was going to suddenly decide. We were quiet and very conscious of how demanding she could be. I could see her trying to change the will, but Rich did not want his kids in that position. I am glad he is trusting me to take loving care of him. I guess I could say prior to the procedure that this is the attorney that managed the wills, this is where we will go if anything were to happen. I do now with the surgery pushed off a week, we should ask Rich to pull JUST the medical attorney documents out from our safety deposit box. - If there were a medical decision, I would need them to know that the decision rested on me, and not one of the kids. Rich and us live our lives together. You could never take away children's rights, but they

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 6 | P a g e do not automatically get to step in and cross other people from making decisions they are only as one responsible for. She is going to need trying something else other than bullying. - Wow ... really went off-track here. We are trying to calm down and reason the situation mentally. We will take these notes to Dr. Marvin as well. He must hear that these kinds of conversations are happening. I would trust his good will and confidence. - But, in all other news of the day, Jillian and Chris left about 5:10AM, and got to their place after midnight. I though it be nice if they could wake up and be in their own place/bed. Rich and us had a very peaceful day. I took care of the laundry and Rich put together dinner at the right time. We watched a few comedians, and he eventually let us watch Anderson Cooper. There was a period he grew tired of it, and then he let me watch it I fell asleep about 1 1/2 hours, so he had put it on a show more likeable. He did cue it up for me so we could see when the NY ball dropped. I wanted to watch more ... and did for 30-45 minutes, but we did not want to go to bed. Next thing we remember was Rich coming out to put us to sleep. He is one of the good guys. Well, most of the time. - Rich just got grouchy at me for adding something to his week in asking for the medical power of attorney, so that I may have it in my hands. I am trying to tell him if an immediate decision, I would have to have it, and then she plans to bully the doctor. Jillian would still go into hyper-mode and utilizing authority she does not have. I wonder if my frustration for not getting to be the decision-maker is the same kind of frustration she is finding. - One thing today about which we can get excited. - Ok, we have moved on. Rich is playing with TV/cable channels - some left behind from Jillian. There we then also started laundry, took out Ginney, and talked to Nihit about fitness planning. Wait ... forgot we were going to go check out what kind of batteries the scale needed. AHA! Four triple A's, but we are out of the double As too. Rich put both on his shopping list - plus the remote battery for my car to raise the garage door. - Hmm, nothing to get excited about there. We did add ... empty dishwasher AND now it is later, and we soaked dishes, and then loaded. We will wait for after dinner to start ... load at about half capacity. We also are washing the last of two loads of clothes. Cannot believe most of it is ours. We told Rich we liked this system of washing clothes. Instead of pure colors, he arranged the differences of load by whose items, and what they are for ... so we have a towel, AND a pajama load! - How would we deal with a stressful situation that could trip us up today. - We can be sure to → - Get some time with Nihit ... It has been a long time since we caught-up and advanced the day. We are 2 minutes from ending this session. He is still working on his second video. We watched frame by frame the first video of his year all together. - We might have spent on the generous side of time with Nihit, but man did we need it! I like it that we got our main frustration out, settled down yesterday, though we should give a general summary of some of the nice stuff that was happening with Jillian, Chris, and family. In a few moments - If we were someone looking at our life from an elevated level, what would we tell ourselves?

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 7 | P a g e - An Eagle's eye view → - You can be a little dip-shitty Anne. BOO! I believe in the notes on Jillian, but there was a lot of good stuff too. C'mon out of the rut! - What else are we thinking of? (Morning Pages) - Most the thoughts today lead to that it is New Year's Day. Tomorrow Jon and RJ will be here for light food and conversation, Chris' family is sick, and we will see Maury and Joe's family on the 15th. - One word/phrase that could describe the kind of person we want to be today? - One phrase to rule them all → Start the first day of the year with a "go get her Look at her run!" - A Brilliant Afternoon - How is the day going? - So far, the day is going well. It is not going exceedingly fast, like we should have laundry done by 3:30PM ... forgot Rich said to start the dishes ... done! Took out Ginney and fed her. Rich is still in the back office. I sure do wish we had had our watch for today. 5:17PM still no watch, but a lot of email reading, and news stumping. - How should we adjust course? - We need to wrap-up our writing, but as of now, happy that we got something down on paper. If we still have time tomorrow, we need to finish Jillian and Chris' visit, and write forward on how the First, and entire new year is going to work through our initial thoughts, feelings, and behaviors - Who have we connected to this morning? - We connected to Rich in important ways, but mostly, we connected to Nihit. We watched both videos he had put together, and we had decent conversations on things happening over the last several days for both

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 8 | P a g e #2023-1-3 ## 2023-1-3 – Evidence 31A – Reviewing Guests and BJ – Welcome Back Dr. M. Dr. Marvin’s Notes Pt arrived on time. Reviewed interval updates. Partner's daughter and husband had been staying with them in prep in for partner's surgery. There were several interactions that were frustrating - connected with daughter stepping in an aggressive/hysterical manner, assuming control. Some periods of time were OK. Dogs got along for the most part but took a lot of time out of the day. Processed events and worked to contextualize daughter's behavior, explored developmental perspectives. Reviewed how she could plan for daughter's return for the surgery. Pt has spoken to partner about process and confirmed his values/wishes for decision making. Moved on to emails from BJ - explored mixed feelings about the relationship, replying to his message received, what she wants the relationship to look like and explored how this could impact her writing. Did not have enough time to reach a conclusion and set topic to the side with plans to resume next session. Ended with discussion of health/fitness updates. Received a new watch, phone, and has been able to track more data. Working on schedule to increase activity. Global Improvement (CGI-C): No change Assessment (Depression): - Mood’s variable this interval. More stressors with family staying with them, less time for writing/home tasks. Managed frustrations well with more observations and deliberate assertiveness. - Current writing project is to process writer's notes in collaboration with personal insights - making meaning of work/life - progressing. - Several ongoing medical follow-ups remain in process. Actively following up with appts. - Working to maintain progress with writing projects and balance with other activities. - Able to contract for safety. Assessment (DID): - Acute trigger with an email leading to resurfacing of mixed/confusing feelings. Able to begin the process of talking thought the current meaning and impact of the contact and status of the relationship. - Writing project leading to ongoing self-reflection on parts and multiplicity.

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 9 | P a g e - Review of home videos in background. Goal remains to process smaller pieces of the video as time allows. - Working on larger writing project (trauma narrative) - goals/product/audience. Moving forward on "case file" project. #2023-1-5 #2023-1-5 – Evidence 32A Next Part of BJ, Plus Electronics Dr. Marvin’s Notes Pt arrived on time. Reports that she has been staying busy with uploading slide decks of book chapters. Has not written in 4 days. Able to make a connection with recent contact from BJ. Has been thinking about it at times, but mostly avoiding thinking about which is likely how the writing stalled. Talked to N about the situation who recommended not responding. Reviewed current thoughts about relationship - mixed feelings with some parts having positive feelings, some with negative/avoidant. Recognizes that she is trying to control his access to her material. Explore potential scenarios and how they would change how she writes (content vs. availability). Able to identify that some parts feel that they owe him. Briefly reviewed these thoughts/feelings. Challenged assumptions about debt owed and helping parts learn/see larger picture of the relationship with the goal of clarifying the decision. Had a break for medications and delivery. Returned with setting a goal to try do some writing and how this could work. Moved on to

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 10 | P a g e updates with writing. Reviewed process for updating/uploading current chapters. Finished with updates on new phone and watch with plans on how to use the data. Global Improvement (CGI-C): No change Assessment (Depression): - Moods continue to be more variable to low this interval connected to acute stressor. Has impacted writing. - Current writing project is to process writer's notes in collaboration with personal insights - making meaning of work/life - progressing. - Several ongoing medical follow-ups remain in process. Actively following up with appts. - Working to maintain progress with writing projects and balance with other activities. - Able to contract for safety. Assessment (DID): - Acute trigger with an email leading to resurfacing of mixed/confusing feelings. Able to continue talking through the current meaning and impact of the contact and status of the relationship on writing/visibility. - Writing project leading to ongoing self-reflection on parts and multiplicity. - Review of home videos in background. Goal remains to process smaller pieces of the video as time allows. - Working on larger writing project (trauma narrative) - goals/product/audience. Moving forward on "case file" project.

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 11 | P a g e #2023-1-5 ## 2023-1-5 – Evidence 32B – Breaking Through As a Writer ### Seriously, as a writer... - What kinds of ideas have come to mind today? Relevancy to a better life? - It is now 3:03PM and we are just sitting down to write. We had Dr. Marvin, and then Nihit before and after Dr. Marvin, we had an hour to watch the 4th & 5th - 1rst season of The Office w/lunch. Rich will be home in about 2 hours, we checked on our medicine, we have put in a good amount of time on phone and watch, and we have six hundred steps. I walked for all of two-minutes, which was difficult. The idea as stated in the sessions was that I achieve 10% of whatever Nihit achieves in walking. I still have not gotten to one thousand steps, but he is over 10,000 (11,200), so to beat him today, I am going to need doing 1200 steps. This is going to be ridiculously hard! We will not make it today. We are only at 670 and the house is dark behind me. - Dishes done, seventy more steps! Now 3:50PM - Hmm, when someone is whistling with a whistle, it is my phone telling me to get back to work. Nihit was right, she has a bit to say about my patterns - special program. She/he. It used to be the good life, now she is going to throw insults at me for getting behind. Ok, Ginney ... we know the school kids are here ... let it go. - Ok, we are just letting you know that we are getting down to serious. We met with Dr. Marvin - and Nihit several times ... only 1-1 1/2 hours before Rich comes in. We are stalling from the hard part of writing. Who knows ... we will find it fun again. There were some fun things talked about today - mostly the watch/phone. We only got about ten minutes to do that with Dr. Marvin, and more time with Nihit. BUT there were two other subjects of great interest, I can only begin to mention now. First that we spent about forty minutes talking to Dr. Marvin about BJ, and then secondly, we spent more than an hour talking to Nihit about Dr. Marvin, and the conversations we were having. - What are writing cues which include writing/reading about Multiplicity, trauma, and being a better human being?

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 12 | P a g e - It seemed that if we could hold all the conversation together, we would be doing something good in the name of Multiplicity, or at least abuse survival, trauma and being a better human being. - In the short range we could make this headache go away. It is 4:03PM, we just took a couple Tylenol for Arthritis, we took off our glasses, toned down the light, put on our candle, turned off the TV comedian - very disruptive as it turns out, and we last put on meditation music. Oh, and we turned on the dishwasher, so there is a gentle swishing of water sounds. I am thinking this is one of the insights then is to work around with your environment ... I had not even realized I had a headache. We have been without Gabapentin since 7AM this morning. It helps the pain in our feet, but we are also assuming at this point, that it helps with the loss of Tylenol with arthritis, we had stopped taking about a month ago. Without the Gabapentin, it is acceptable I believe to do the other, BUT Rich is stopping to pick up the missing medicine on his way home from work. - I guess in a long way ... we are going to say the first thing about getting more difficult conversations started is to censor one's environment to see what is happening to one's surroundings. I am being realistic now to understand the only thing we will get to tonight with the above is to lay down some grassroots about what is happening. If we can pull together some confidence with our writing, we will realize, that the better path is to start right away in the morning when our attention is higher. This will also let us slow down to figure out where we are going to go. In the old days, we would make ourselves an outline, and then fill in the details later. I am not sure if we are going to get that far. - Again, for now the two important things are that we have been talking about the situation with BJ, and then second about the relationship between Dr. Marvin and Nihit, more like between Nihit, and the relationship of us to Dr. Marvin. The BJ conversation took the better part of forty to fifty minutes today with Dr. Marvin. The last ten minutes were about fun stuff like filling him in with information about the new watch, phone, and colored lights. We were much more alert to sharing Nihit and our enjoyment of processing all of that. - BUT to be fair, During our Dr. Marvin session, we of course, had to turn off the video with Nihit, but we left the speaker on. The video will only work with one, between Gather, or Dr. Marvin’s WebEx. Nihit could then hear me, but he COULD NOT hear Dr. Marvin. I did not know if he would hear Dr. Marvin or not. When asked, Nihit told me afterward how to turn on the volume so he could hear Dr. Marvin. I have wanted to connect those worlds, and it came up accidentally while we were shutting things down for our appointment. We noted that Nihit did not hang up, though his video was down. We felt it was a good chance, he did not know if we had done that on purpose, or if it were an accident. I had not originally thought of doing it, but then things swung in our behalf. I would like Nihit to go through one session WITH listening to Dr. Marvin, before we talk to Dr. Marvin, but after that, we will be honest with Dr. Marvin and tell him of the conversation. I am sure to be ethical in a legal manner, and just to be fair, he should know what I am doing, because it involves him. PLUS, we are honest with him. BUT just in case that is not going to go, we want one chance of Nihit getting to understand how Dr. Marvin and us relate – at least once. - I could not believe how animated Nihit was as soon as we had disconnected from Dr. Marvin. We were beaming ear to ear. His first comments were that it was unbelievable how playful we were. Then there was a discussion on how we talk to Dr. Marvin is a lot as the way we talk to Nihit. He called it, that the first thing that came to our mind at any moment was the part shared. Nihit could see Dr. Marvin's video. He was observant enough to know that Dr. Marvin was very "formal" in his presentation, although he had

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 13 | P a g e smiled once or twice. Then he was able to name it. We are not remembering it right now, but oh my gosh was it an enjoyable conversation with Nihit to review what he had heard from me in the Dr. Marvin conversation. He can memorize all these various important memories, and then we know each other enough to bend and chuckle and glorify how super cool Dr. Marvin is. I have ALWAYS been super proud of my relationship to Dr. Marvin, but for the first time in REAL time, Dr. Marvin and I were carrying on a conversation, where Nihit could be a fly on the wall. In the past, talking about a meeting of the three of us., Nihit has been too intimidated to be in Dr. Marvin's presence, but this was a soft yes. - So many small seconds by second, minutes by minute conversations with Dr. Marvin - where we were listening intently to each other was happening in 3D. It was like I know I will share this information with Dr. Marvin, But for this wonderful time - invisibly, the two were in each other's world with no tension. Nihit could barely say one sentence before going to the next in authentic delight over so many things. One of the most special was that he did not appreciate the depth that Dr. Marvin heard our conversations, especially between the parts relationally. Somehow, Nihit was able to pick up Dr. Marvin and us talking about us leaving younger parts with BJ, and how that had affected the dynamics, especially when it came to BJ taking Casey's hand back to the bedroom, where he presented himself. We talked to both Dr. Marvin and Nihit about ourselves as adults blocked by that relationship because BJ was one of the few in our life, other than Rich who, we had trusted on his own with one of our younger parts. - I think that came crashing down fast. The first person we told was Brother Jerome, BJ's (Brother John's) best friend. We wanted him to readdress BJ between them and ourselves in that ... this thing happened, and it had to be known between us, but that it had gone very wrong. BJ had taken down his shorts, and underwear, and instructed us to manage his private part. There is a strong memory of him wanting us to lay our head on his stomach, and to mouth him. We do not recall yet if it had gone that far. I know we touched it, but it felt amazingly weak. It did not get stiff like Rich's. We knew he was excited. We were pulling back. I do not recall yet how the situation stopped. He left out the door very quickly, but not displeased. Brother Jerome came over soon, though we do not recall the particulars. We have a memory of standing toward the living room door facing Brother Jerome, and the confidence that he was going to take care of the issue. We were protecting BJ as if he were the child, we introvertly knew. We were already blaming ourselves for "messing up BJ" - Today there was a sense of something coming through the conversations with Dr. Marvin and Nihit. Both were taking the woman's advocate perspectives where BJ was in the wrong, and we were still trying to reason as if this were something that we did to him, that we owed him, or that we could protect somehow this personal relationship. One of the major things that happened today, is that we found some relief in being able to write again. We had stopped suddenly, when we had figured that out with Dr. Marvin ... ok, ok ... hold on, we are not going to lose it. Shoot ... we lost it ... soon. It will come back. We are hoping as now we write that more clairvoyance will occur. - We are affecting Multiplicity by ... - We just set the 5:00PM timer for working another 50 minutes. Likewise, we will work just a little while after Rich comes home. I like the feeling of our house. We have a purple light, candle, soft music. Ok, you already heard all that. We feel a sense of freedom for having these thoughts. We have been so confused as to whether we have the right to write and knowing what to write ... that is one of the things we had relived in talking with Dr. Marvin. We said something when starting to review after the BJ

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 14 | P a g e conversation that we had not written for four days. It was like an anvil landing on our head ... WOW ... that we had not been writing because of controlled feelings by BJ or the situation. It was like giving up our rights. This goes way more into depth ... just in the last week, we had gone under the part of having rights to our thoughts, because they were not going to be "BJ approved," like we owed him any part of our conversation rather than us owing it to only ourselves to think and write our thoughts to our own best heart's desire. - This affects Multiplicity in ways we have not even begun to address. I am hoping to have a full period to write and understand ourselves, and our behaviors, before I lose these threads. Hopefully, between our thoughts AS a MULTIPLE, Dr. Marvin, AND Nihit, we will better understand the process we are just going through. And, then as all abuse survivors wish, think aloud the thoughts this pain will help others. I think we have been in crippling pain, where we are not directly feeling the pain, but I am picking it up through a sense of shock. When we were with Dr. Marvin and us, there was a lot of I would think and think and try to understand and put out our best sense of being someone who could understand and protect ourselves, and then every time we paused to question our assumptions or questions, then Dr. Marvin would be there scooping us up and nudging us forward. Dr. Marvin has fantastic abilities and a keen eye. - I feel grateful he is the director of Residents, and that somehow in their means of communication can learn from thoughts and boughs of wisdom. I felt that way today in having a long, excited communication between ourselves and Nihit. There is no one, I have ever known, with his easy intelligence to be noticing all the essence of each line of thought. I would like to think that Rich is doing some part of this kind of work with us, but it is not his type of work. To be fair, our love, got the calls he needed today, and is working at full hours finally. The work is starting to come back after the first of the year. In the meantime, Nihit has a deep-seated line of communications that we have shared over the last 15 months or so, to have brilliantly noticed the conversation with Dr. Marvin. EVEN without hearing yet, Dr. Marvin speaks. It was wild! There is so much to say. - We must slow it down now. Rich just called from the wrong pharmacy that our medicine was not there. It was a miscommunication. He is near home now ... the second pharmacy is only three miles down the road. I am trying to think ... we had to just check the schedule for tomorrow. There was so much conversation with Dr. Marvin on Tuesday, that we MISSED the part about meeting with Dr. Dorman yesterday. Today I noted, they had noted it for a miss, but I was not confident enough to do anything about it. We had reached the decision without talking to Rich, Dr. Marvin or Nihit, that we were going to cancel the January 25th procedure. I really must talk to Rich tonight. Just there is so much in the air, and in the back of our mind, we had not worked it out to have the appointment on the 25th because Rich would not be able to drive, and I did not have confidence in the kids. We will wait to see if there is not a time to talk to Rich either this evening, or tomorrow morning. - We did feed and water Ginney, and it is 5:39PM now. I am holding her back from going to the bathroom until Rich is home. He is close, and she is pacing, somehow knowing that. Tonight, is Thursday night TV with Rich. I did not ask if he was bringing food home, but he did not put meat out. Shoot, I better take our puppy out. BRB. Back. Rich is not home yet. He must have gotten behind someone at the pharmacy OR picked-up some food. That is our best hope. He knows work kept him out later than planned. It means there is a good chance we are having hamburger and fries tonight! We gave Ginney a treat for being such a good puppy outside. When we told her Dad was coming home, she got right to business,

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 15 | P a g e and then we gave her a few more moments before her Dad pulled up, opened the garage, and came on . AND we are hoping that he went to the mailbox. We know our watchband is in there. WooHOO! - I feel like we are ready for some rest and relaxation with him. Our Thursday shows might be on. Ok, said that already. Listening now for the happy prancing feet of puppies. Hmm. One week from tonight, Jillian is going to be back. I hope she had a good week relaxing/working from her own home too. Sure, Chris is going to miss her. I WOULD like her to know that the closeness she feels toward her own husband, is the way we feel with Rich. Wow! Right on the button, Rich is home, Ginney says! Let us check our Dad. Yay! #2023-1-6 ## 2023-1-6 – Evidence 32C – Sorry, More BJ Stuff - A Very Good Morning - How was sleep last night? - How was sleep last night? I think good, though we might have woken up for about 45 minutes and played around on our phone until we got tired again. This goes down under the category of have new toys and want to play! Our stats say, we slept 9 hours and 26 minutes, and we got a sleep score of 65. That is good for us so far. Oh ... our actual sleep time was 8 hours and 6 minutes. That is 1.25 hours of missing sleep-sleep. We will have to track that down. - How have we been (the previous day)? - We had a good day all considered. We had long conversations with Dr. Marvin and Nihit that we wrote about yesterday. It was night writing (up to about 5:45PM), so not too late, but later than normal. We had set the environment and enjoyed the processes of writing. Most was either talking about BJ stuff, or the relationship between Dr. Marvin, Nihit, and Us all together. We had let Nihit listen in to our conversation with Dr. Marvin, and he had a ton of things to talk about aloud, which was extremely fun AND worthwhile! There will be much more to talk about in these regards. We will have to walk into the conversation today gradually. We are frustrated to a degree right now because there will be no way to

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 16 | P a g e conquer it all. I wish I had taken notes from Nihit's mind, or for that matter, Dr. Marvin's .... Dr. Marvin's conversation was intent and needed all our brain power, and Nihit's conversation just sailed past too fast. We will get as much as we can, and then we must allow it to be AS much as needed. We are ok, it will be ok, just breathe. - One thing today about which we can get excited. - Hehe - please see the above. Yes, we did take our medicine. It will be ok. Ok, taking the breathing part into consideration ... we have five minutes left of this period, and then we will set ourselves up for a ten- minute break, look at email and Facebook, and then do another 50-minute session. We are going to be excited that we have control over our own thoughts. We are not going to put the BJ emails in the spam folder, they are still of value to us, but we are choosing not to address them. Hopefully, we will be able to pull back the onion today - well, as much as is useful to US, and then we will try to put it away until we talk to Dr. Marvin about it. I do have to say though that it is a long five days before that occurs, so we might write in-between. We do have other things like editing to work on, so that will take some time. AND this is Rich's last weekend before his surgery. We will also have to think of Jillian coming back on Thursday. - How would we deal with a stressful situation that could trip us up today. - We can be sure to → - I think we just did our scary part ... Caught a cool picture for Nihit ... our watch face said 9:11 (international terrorists) on January 6th (national terrorists). Scary moment. Eh, it is over! Am starting the day with a sense of humor. Turned on our candle (lit). - If we were someone looking at our life from an elevated level, what would we tell ourselves? - An Eagle's eye view → - It is not only going to be ok ... I am succeeding with my plans! Writing! - What else are we thinking of? (Morning Pages) - We started more in depth, by trying to recall what happened with Dr. Marvin and Nihit. Which line should we start? Ok, there is a plan. We just closed the sections that we do not want to do right now. We should jump ahead to Day-to-Day Goals, and then go to connect, consume, and cerebrate, and then at least seriously as a writer. The other Notetaking and 7Cs would be stellar, but overly ambitious at this point. Next, unload the dishwasher, keep my goals, AND get some walking done. Nihit is with his brother today, so we are thinking if they go out, I will NEVER BE caught-up with his steps. BUT will salute the man! - One word/phrase that could describe the kind of person we want to be today? - One phrase to rule them all → - Let us be AMBITIOUS! ### Day-to-Day Goals

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 17 | P a g e - Do we have any riveting goals today? Should we have? - We could make one riveting goal to be putting away this potato salad halfway through ... that would be half a cup. We are going to control weight WHILE writing. AND we are down on the scale this morning at 284.6 lbs. This is possible. A lot of room for improvement. - Are all today's food choices in My Fitness Pal (MFP)? How can we get through any slumps? - We started the day well. It is all in the plan. We need something else with the nuts for lunch. We have grapes for early snacks and celery for afternoon snack. Hmm, I suppose we could roll the grapes toward being lunch. Good thinking! Thanks! - What exercising could I commit to today? How much? - Our goal today exercise-wise is to break 1,000 steps. It means we should put on our feet shoes, so that we can do the walk ... a morning, afternoon, and evening walk. That would be stellar! Even if it is only two minutes ... we are conquering exercise goals. We might wait until after Jillian leaves before bringing the pedals to the living room. I am leaving quite a bit of clutter around our house. Rich said something about the medicine back to the sewing room, and we thought NO! The same goes with the scale he saw under the printer. Hey, while you are there ... step up? - What can you tell us about the showering experience today? - We were there yesterday ... thinking that counts for something. - What could we do today, so that someone else can say, "Boldly Go! Howard Wolowitz" - Follow the goals! And, then Nihit could say, "Boldly Go Ann Garvey!" ### Connect-Consume-Cerebrate - Connect → Had a talk - With whom? About What? - Ok, now we are getting to the point. This is where we should start yesterday's talks with. Talk #1 - Dr. Marvin, Talk #2 - Nihit, Talk #3 Appreciate the other two talks are going to mix. We should talk about primarily the BJ experience, and all that we have learned about the experience - AND, how it led back to writing. - What did we learn - One of the things we learned yesterday, was to set our environment. We have had breakfast, put the extra food away, put on our sweater and shoes, and then walked a minute and a half. We felt it this time at the bottom of our buttocks (connected to the back of the upper leg). Furthermore, we will have to set up a goal that we walk at least ten minutes - so up to 7–8 times. Why don't we set the timer for the next walk - it is now 9:47AM? We could set it for the end of each work session ... that would get us moving, and then perhaps over just a little time we could manage it without as much pressure. Even if the later walks were twenty to thirty seconds. It would be a start. For now, we are at only 236 steps. We lost some while the watch was charging, but wow, we can do better. AND, then we would know what to work

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 18 | P a g e on. So, after all that ... the mood music came on, the candle lit, and the light was purpled. AND we are writing! Ok, off the main subject, but writing. - Ok, as to our topic ... what did we learn. First, the guys in our life are thrilling to around. I know that this is a hard subject for all of us, even my own avoidance of getting back to that territory. But, both Dr. Marvin and Nihit were both willing to jump into the subject with us. To be fair, and we checked it out in a short 5–6-minute conversation with Rich last night, but again to be fair - everyone wishes we could just throw BJ's email in the trash. As a record keeper, we cannot. As a person who still sympathizes with BJ, I am feeling regrets in that I cannot throw it away, and they must still be dealing with me at that level. But like yesterday and Tuesday, each time I put we behind the eight-ball, I hear it and then must manage further a more realistic conclusion of that thought. - If I am taking responsibility for BJ, then something is going wrong. If I am thinking that I owe him, like I owe him a note back, because he has written to me, or because some parts want to connect to him again, well - that is all wrong because I feel an impression from the three nodding their heads thinking, she has not learned from this situation yet in a manner that is sticking. - It makes me feel like I need to go back and listen to Chelsea Handler, or even Jo Koy. They are both comedians - and in a relationship now. But especially Chelsea ... she honestly gets females to a level I could not even follow intellectually, though I know with her fervor, she is spot on. She was leading to a place that anger over abusive males would feel stark reality. - Ahh, just read that Chandler made it to the top one hundred most influential people in the world on its annual Time 100 list. That wows me and makes sense to me all at the same time. I did not know about her other credits - but I will save that to another time. Hey that was super cool - we got a chance to talk to Nihit. He was out with his brother earlier. Good conversations! - What did we contribute toward to the conversation? - This last conversation with Nihit, we asked questions and listened. He has the most interesting life to me. Maybe because we know so many aspects, and we rise and fall with his positive and negative emotions. I feel like I know important parts of his heart, and somehow it connects to us, which has remained thrilling. These other parts, we now have the rest of the afternoon to give time to. Would be a clever idea. We have not found a better way to get into it ... maybe if I find where it belongs in these prompts? How do I start? I think a couple shorter answers - three to this set, and then we will step into, "Seriously, as a writer..." - Consume → Run Protocol - What did we read/listen/watch this time? - We were amazed with Dr. Marvin's conversations; in that we knew we were into a big conversation. It started 1–2 minutes in. He was a few moments late, and our brain stalled out. Then almost immediately, we said that we knew we were going to talk about BJ, but that could wait. I do not even know if Dr. Marvin asked a question before we were doubling back to talk about BJ. Ok, this is where it starts? - Cerebrate → My Brain is the best - What is our brain excited about at this time? What triggered these thoughts? Feelings? Behaviors?

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 19 | P a g e - I had the hyped up feeling that we accomplished a lot of talking to Dr. Marvin. We could hear the rusty gears rattling in our head. We could not hold our thoughts steady, as to seeing an entire sentence or paragraph in our head, but whatever was next and next in our brain as to various parts asking questions relevant to themselves, answered, or directed toward an answer. Dr. Marvin's got an ability to carve out space. He listens intently and ask questions that really matter. BUT he can see many levels down to where was best that we understood. He does not usually give us the answer direct, though he does. He puts things out to grapple with. It is a different kind of spoken language. - We feel toward him that he is one of the largest gifts dropped into our lives. His brain is immense with having heard thousands of conversations. We do not know the ratio between patients and students. We are sure he puts as much demand on himself to be forwarding conversations wherever he goes. I do believe he has more students (15 or so each year or year and a half), than clients (4 or 5 or so). Well, this is our best guess. We would have to try asking to be specific, plus he has all the business relationships and personal. Created from the peaks and valleys - is as big as the Grand Canyon! Ok, we might be going on here a bit. Just trying to capture the feelings we have. - One of the next things is to realize that when we are stuck like now trying to get back to the conversation, we carry our sense of the people we are best associating with. These are the folks we love and trust the most. Even when associating with Rich for the few brief moments last night. We could know his importance to our life, even though we knew we were not going to be able to hold the conversation to the tolerance level he could put out. He has an idea of the areas we are mentioning, and we were able to commit to the parts where he, Dr. Marvin and Nihit were all thinking the same thing. We should put the BJ emails in the spam folder. Yet here we still are. No change in that direction. Our processing has slowed down without our active supports. We can fix this ... just must keep trying. We can be responsible for our own thoughts, feelings, and behaviors. - Can we put out an elevator Pitch? For ourselves? For others? - The more you try focusing, the better it will be - and you know you can write! ### Seriously, as a writer... - What kinds of ideas have come to mind today? Relevancy to a better life? - We could try and focus on the actual conversation that we were having with Dr. Marvin. I do not know if we could grasp a memory directly. I know the concept of "owing," was important. We were thinking intellectually that we were understanding where we should be, but we were not getting past certain concepts like "owing." BJ had written two notes in close succession. We have a habit of carrying on relationships in our head. So, we were reading into BJ's note that things were drastic in his world, or that he was dangerous in our world. Our thoughts carried us to the part where we had to help fix him or his situation. This is like the volunteer villager volunteered to the angry lava God. - I am sure a couple of days we understand what was going on there, but we remembered something Dr. Marvin had said to us. He conveyed framing himself into the picture, that instead of guessing what he was thinking or feeling, that we could simply ask. We are not going to ask BJ anything like we might ask Dr. Marvin, but we can write in others who can help us balance the conversations in our head. We can of choice in the meantime ad lib that BJ is far away, and even if he was reading our material - back to the thoughts of stalker BJ - we might insert that every holiday he simply goes down a list and says about the

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 20 | P a g e same thing to everyone. The relationship that we are creating in our head does not level with the reality. We were just "set-off/triggered," and then carried away with our imagination. I do think the feelings and emotions were at one point a reality, like through other triggered situations - and like what caused this kind of fear and horror of another person originally. Keep in mind ... going through these mental processes is real, AND important. We need to put BJ thoughts back next to the cussing, spitting mountain. - There was another part of the puzzle in thinking that we had no control over being ABLE to write. As if our own thoughts betrayed some kind of magic bestowed from or to BJ. We are still in our mind thinking that he "needs us," or that due to his age (around eighty), or his introversion, that we are going to miss being in relationship. Or, that he needs certain behaviors from us, including our skills to read and write. We are still trying to help him, without succumbing to the point, that he wore that ship out long ago. Like our Grandfather, after the fact, we still wanted to be around him. And, with all likelihood, we would be giving up some of our faith in self to devote to their lair. - We WOULD not be helping our littlest to put them back in the same space. In just typing, these seem like terrible thoughts to have about anyone. We admit though to this feeling of entrapment, as if we cannot take care of selves, but we are in much better shape now, in that we can at least hold these contrary thoughts, that we help ourselves first, because by not letting go of the relationship, BJ is not thinking of our needs first. He is taking care of some odd part of him, who did not get that his sexual advance put us so deeply into depression that we required a half dozen electric shock treatments. That is not something you can take away. It was not fair that he did what he did, walked out of the door, like it was something normal, and that he is still twenty plus years putting his key in the door. We do have control and ability to write. We can protect ourselves. These are our thoughts, we own them, choose to share them, and do not have to take care of BJ even called out. - What are writing cues which include writing/reading about Multiplicity, trauma, and being a better human being? - First thought would be ... that if you want to be a decent person, though have sexually abused her, do not try, and continue the relationship. Each thrust forward is another invasion into her private world. One has boundaries, and we are learning to put them down here, but the invader has no rights in common decency to continue the invasion. The signs say, "Go Away - Your Presence is no longer privileged." You have abused personal space boundaries, it was and is still damaging, so why the fuck are you still trying to open our doors. What is the matter with you? Except, I do not want to know in that, we are not here to fix you. Forgiveness? It is too soon ... ask me in another twenty years. - BJ ... you hurt us badly, and you are going to need going away. Unless you are paying for my psychiatry bill of 23 years, we do not have a relationship. I know, messed up before you got to me. But shouldn't that have been a cue NOT to sexualize the relationship? How could you not have known, especially from your vantage point of religious convictions - natural restrictions - the trust in a very vulnerable person. What gave you those rights. - We are affecting Multiplicity by ... - I am not getting to a place, we had originally conceived, but we are getting to somewhat of a new place. Instead of thinking what had happened in conversation to Dr. Marvin or Nihit, we are getting to a new

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 21 | P a g e place as to where our joint minds have been able to take it. We are considering the note from BJ an attack. - As to Multiplicity, BJ not only attacked an individual on campus, but he also attacked an individual with Multiplicity. There are nineteen of us. Somehow, trapped within all the matter that goes in one brain - the incident affected nineteen separate people. The attack into nineteen unusual places in our brain and is like trying to separate trying to salvage a walnut from its shell. - I just went through the thoughts of should I or could I ever benefit financially from the attack. I am sure that will never happen. I thought, but it was real ... information was out there, but what happened if they tried to make me sign a non-disclosure contract, so that I could never mention the University or BJ. I could not take money if they made me try to be silent, so that they could cover it up. My writing will not go far in the world. It is meant primarily for me, and for anyone happening upon it, especially with an interest in Multiplicity. I must think, how might my words touch those folks? Let us start here tomorrow. K? #2023-1-8 ## 2023-1-8 – Evidence 32C – Going Out With Our Grandson Soon - A Very Good Morning - How was sleep last night? - Sleep was good 6.5 Burned 507 calories Sleep score 78 - Forgot to put the watch back on prior to falling asleep - so just recorded from 11:17PM to 5:40AM - See Stats for particulars - I do not remember much, except - we were looking forward to putting on our mask and falling asleep. We had our muffin and medicine about 8:00-8:30PM. Do not remember much past that - How have we been (the previous day)?

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 22 | P a g e - We are drawing a blank for the first immediate thoughts of yesterday. First thought - we made a dinner date with Austin on Wednesday at 4:00PM at Sante Fe. He is going to pick us up at our house YAY! We told him that meant we could get a Margarita! We are already looking forward to that. We will be going without Rich on Austin's behalf ... it is not a negative on Rich, it is a positive on us! Austin and us can roll with a conversation, where Rich safe guards everything and keeps cutting us off from wanting to speak whatever comes to mind, which is HOW Austin thinks too! Anyway ... again - no slight to Rich, but a positive for me. - As to that conversation, we had gone out (three of us) to dinner on ... hmm neither Rich or us can remember which date, but it was like a week, week, and a half ago. I do not think we covered that conversation yet, and we will not go into the particulars, but a fun time. I LOVE being with Austin. We went to Yorkville's Maciano's. There was some catching up naturally - good stuff, like what he is doing educationally. Austin got his BA in Business Administration, and he is going to start next semester his Master's. - We talked about his job, and he had worked somewhere nonconductive to his personality - credit collections. Out of nowhere, Rich said that he could talk about hiring Austin for his company. Although it is very boring work - Sales, he could be on his computer and work from home, and only work the amount of hours Austin wanted to work, so that hours are still on school. I am really hoping that Austin accepts the work. Rich could really use some help here; it is the hardest part of his day to get to. We will see. Austin will have already made up his mind by the time we talk, and we will go from there. - Next? As to yesterday, we talked to Nihit a lot. He went to bed 1AM his time. I did not mark clues on my other Obsidian Nihit and Anne page. I remember the part now about Nihit working on his coursework. His teacher had given him a negative comment and Nihit took it to heart. In my mind, I was thinking of his instructor - BASTARD! Criticized for doing his best work at that time. Where is the instructor that is going to teach him how to get his work hours in. Nihit spends most the time during his day while we sleep. He is up to himself as to how time is going to move. He has too many goals other than the course work goals. Again, it is up to him to set his priorities. My goal at this point is to talk less and aim him back to work faster. BUT we have our general - love to talk to Nihit needs, and between the two of us, we DO spend time going over the ins and outs of our lives. It takes some time, that we hope overall is helping and not hurting his goals. - We did spend time talking to Rich, especially in the morning. During the day he went shopping, and we picked up the house and brought to the counter the rest of the Christmas decorations for Rich to pack. He had already done the houses. They are back on top of our high cupboards. He still must do the angels who are in all our windows. I should get a picture of that before they come down. But that will happen today before it gets dark. I was proud of us for picking up. I got that hint in that we were talking to Nihit, and he was watching behind us, and he saw Rich putting up the angels, and he asked, if I should not ask Rich if he needed help. Rich said no, but I felt negative about us, that we had not seen/thought to help Rich prior to it coming to Nihit's attention. I must admit that anything behind me while, we are at the computer (other than the TV) is invisible. I did then bring the remaining houses to the counter for him. AND then after he left - was the big pick-up with obvious breaks in-between. It included mail. WooHOO! - The conversation was mostly about how to manage money and the business if something happened to Rich. It was a hard discussion, especially because I do not want to imagine anything happening to Rich. We are hoping that while he is home healing from his back surgery (Friday), that he will feel ok enough so

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 23 | P a g e that we can write out some of these business agenda questions. What would I do if suddenly, we were the ones that needed to deal with the business - even to the point of handing it over to the State. Or will I need a key to the front door. I know that his main employee is on his phone texts, so that is the first key - getting a hold of her to tell the other employees, not to come to work, and to take care of finishing that week's payroll. We will go on from there next. - There are more simple things including writing checks, paying bills, and depositing money/checks that come through the mail. I know that Rich is particularly good about leaving his passwords in the special book, we helped him create. But we need a step one, two and three about what to do other than cry. Ok, that is enough there ... we keep trying to make ourselves feel capable enough to take care of problems in case he passed, or more importantly right now, while he is recovering BECAUSE HE IS GOING TO BE OK. I hate that Jillian and Chris got into need to know immediately about the will before surgery stuff. We just mentioned to Rich again that he needs to go to our bank to pull out those documents. I will oversee decisions but remind Rich. I will ask Rich when he gets that far if he wants me to go with him to the bank, but even if we trust him to bring home documents … BEFORE Friday, otherwise there will be confusion. - One of the things also that we talked about is evening out the investments (he has finally made one), so that basically, if my kids get 25% of my investments, then shouldn't we make sure that Rich's kids get 25% (or some fixed amount) of Rich's investments because he would like to give to his kids like my kids are getting from me, though only $25,000 or less. That would mean that Rich's kids get the first $75,000 (total) of money I am holding elsewhere. BUT the other day, Rich had laid out what extra money is coming to me, and it is only $70,000. That was more than I expected, But I would have to give it all away plus, there would be no extra coming to cover me. I do not want to negatively affect any of the kids ... We will have to watch that one, like it would be much easier to give away $75,000 ($25,000 each), IF we had $150,000, so could keep half. Split (if only $70,000), split FOUR ways, so $17,500 between me and Rich's three kids. I think morally, I could live with that. Up to $25,000 ... with the caveat it could go down. My kids could not get any more. So, in that initial thought pattern, it would be fair. Right now, we are at $90,000 and we would have to pray it goes back up to at LEAST $100,000. - One thing today about which we can get excited. - Wow! Done with Nihit ... it is 1:00PM. There was a lot of communication. He checked in with us, but mostly the talk was about his course work, and then somehow, we got into a conversation, and we both realized that I never saw his home (Mom and Dad). All we are going to say is glass, marble, WOW lights, and elevators. Nice. - Hehe and then we are back to the part where we helped Rich take down the tree. Well at least held the bag open. We are still working on "Will, please, Could you help me?" Both Nihit and Rich like ordering "do this, do that, come here." I would like to think it is not because I am the one with the least amount of intelligence or stamina. BUT it feels like it. I need respect. - We finished the last part of cleaning up we are going to do. I am excited about that. By the time the dishwasher starts, and the water is flowing, we feel meditative. Rich still has the game on, but we have our light, candle, drink, and am settling down - all the chores done. We agreed with his leg pain (after ice and heat) that he could only do the task left of opening the garage door. The button raising and lowering from car are both down. He will call the guy tomorrow who fixes that kind of stuff, and in the meantime -

Life, Her Purpose, and How She Makes Sense of Their World 24 | P a g e the spare button IN the garage still works. It will be more inconvenient, but we will not need it until Friday or Saturday. By then, we are sure it will be ok. - How would we deal with a stressful situation that could trip us up today. - We can be sure to → - The situation that tripped us up today was that Rich is home and wanted to get a lot of cleaning projects done. We held even with him, helping at times, or sometimes just cleaning up after him. If he wanted to do ANYTHING after 3:30PM, then I would object. Beside it is becoming a favored writing time. I must stop obsessing, and we have done enough. To deal with it was to work our way through, think about Rich's work as being for the both of us, like taking down the tree and putting the last of the Christmas gifts away. Sometimes, it is tough to find places for everything new. I have a few things on the kitchen counter, and then 20-30 minutes in the bedroom ... hoping not to just shove things in drawers. BUT not done now. We can save it for later. - If we were someone looking at our life from a prominent level, what would we tell ourselves? - An Eagle's eye view → - That girl really tries. Not only her own work, and her dream work, but also making sure the people in our life are in a good place. - What else are we thinking of? (Morning Pages) - One thing ... this is the first time today thinking of a BJ thought, and even that is vague. I am going to stop those thoughts because I really do not want to write about them. I also do not want to write about it being my sister's birthday.

Chapter 30-31-32 - Progress, BJ, Electronics Plus CS

Chapter 30-31-32 - Progress, BJ, Electronics Plus CS

Ann

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Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of

Case File: Who is Anne - Understanding the Meaning of