wants to the surface Ø Collabora@vely develops way forward Ø Improves quality and implementa@on of strategy Ø Get feedback on your own performance For Execu@ves
feels valued to have your undivided aOen@on and to have their ideas heard. Ø Helps the other person clarify their thinking. For the individual being listened to If someone comes to us with a problem, and we listen to them, by the 7me they finish telling us about their problem, they may already have a solu7on. ‘All’ we have done is listen, we have not provided any advice, we have not asked any clever ques7ons, yet our listening has helped the other person find their own way forward.
Listen to understand their point of view not to convince them of yours Ø Show you are listening Ø body language, tone of voice Ø Repeat and paraphrase Ø Use their words Ø Build on their ideas
not just about facts Ø Listen for how things are said Ø Listen for what is not said Ø Imagine yourself in the other person’s posi@on Ø Show your empathy in words – use similar words or imagery Ø Be careful not to hijack the conversa@on – it’s not about you! Ø “We judge ourselves by our inten7ons and others by their ac7ons” (Pronin 2008)
Ø Closed ques@ons usually require a yes or no answer Ø can be used to @e down a goal or ac@on Ø to help a person be more specific Ø or to confirm your understanding of what the other person has said Ø Leading ques@ons try to get the other person to think your way Ø Tone of voice and body language maOer!
ques@ons: Ø If you woke up in the morning and x had happened, how would you know/feel? Ø What would other people no@ce? Ø Match the language to the context, e.g. how might you ask a ques@on for a strategic planning day? What if?
Are there 7mes when your board mee7ngs work effec7vely? ‾ Tell me about one of those 7mes Used to challenge generalisa@ons Ø May need further promp@ng to enable the board member to gain an insight into what makes the board effec@ve Ø Much more powerful than telling people ‘You should do x y or z’
it not a 0 (or not a minus)? Ø If it were 2 points higher, what would it look like?/ what would you be doing differently?/what would the Board no@ce? Ø If person decides to take specific ac@ons to achieve this, change to goal sebng On a scale of 1 to 10, how would you rate x?
were randomly assigned to either a problem-focused or solu@on-focused coaching session. All par@cipants described a real-life problem they wanted to solve Ø The solu@on-focused group generated significantly more ac@ons steps to help them reach their goal. Grant (2012) Ø When people explain why they do things a par@cular way, they can get more and more aOached to doing things that way and harder to shiR Ø ask ‘how ‘or ‘tell me more’ to help reach a beOer understanding of the underlying issue People make less progress if you focus on why
our values? Ø How does this policy reflect our values? Ø I do not feel comfortable about this – let me just talk it out so I can explain what’s making me uncomfortable Ø I read about x in the media – could anything like that happen here? Ø In some organisa@ons that I am familiar with, the board does x. Might that be appropriate here? Challenging the small things before they become big things
term priori@es? Ø What will make this our best year yet? Ø What is the biggest challenge for this board? Ø What do we want to be known for/ to leave behind? Ø When I look back on my @me as CEO or Chair of the Board, what do I want my legacy to be? Ø As a board, how can we add value? Looking forward and looking back
are good at it Ø People keep coming back to us because we solve their problem for them Ø That makes us feel useful Ø It seems quicker at the @me Ø But … people keep coming back Ø Some of those asking for our help may not want to think it through themselves Ø How do we get the best from everyone?
is more important than thinking up clever ques@ons. Ø Make a conscious effort to listen and not just to ‘wait your turn’ Ø Ask people for feedback on how well you listen to them – do they feel heard? Ø If there is room for improvement, decide what you are going to improve and how you will know if you have improved Ø Enjoy and listen well!