• The nicest gift you can give me is your attention ◦ Ex. Putting away your phone at a restaurant • Cuddling & holding hands is a wonderful reminder to me that you care about me • Especially in an argument
naked and talk it out (optionally: in the shower). Standing allows you the inability to hide from the other person. You are completely vulnerable and have nowhere to go. No sitting because most places you would sit there are blankets or pillows to use as a shield.
quarterly relationship retreat ◦ Out of the house ◦ Goal setting ◦ Financial check-in ◦ Resource allocation ◦ & low level annoyances ▪ “It makes me uncomfortable when you don’t use blinkers” • They are very serious about this. They missed my birthday two years in a row to have their retreat!
There are studies on how thinking you’re the smartest person in the room (even if it’s not true) negatively impacts your performance. • Don’t try to win arguments ◦ If you ever think “I’m winning this argument” you’re not influenceable • Try to learn & grow ◦ Be curious ◦ Build on common beliefs ◦ Appreciate the other person’s perspective even if you disagree with it
have, as long as you learn to also properly cope with emotions—both others' and your own” • “emotionally perceptive people might be particularly susceptible to feelings of depression and hopelessness” • I’m generally a fan of getting better at emotional intelligence. But it can be detrimental unless you know how to cope with the extra emotions from other people.
rules ◦ They let you setup artificial limits until you can trust each other • You can have temporary rules ◦ Sunset clause from More Than Two ◦ Ex. I agree not to kiss another partner in front of you for the next 2 months. In 2 months we’ll have a check-in.
relationship ◦ In mono you have to end one relationship before starting a new one • In the poly world there’s a trap of Frankenpoly where we try to find a partner for every need ◦ Ex. a partner for sex, a partner for emotional needs, a partner for activities, etc. • Every relationship takes energy ◦ End relationships that aren’t giving you energy back