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Cultivating Empathy

Cultivating Empathy

From designers, to DevOps, to your favourite personality-driven work-place scandal, there are a lot of people talking about empathy and why it's so important at work. Perhaps you think it's a waste of time; or maybe you think it's important, but you don't really understand how to apply the technique professionally.

Usually when we say the word "empathy" there's an underlying "woo-woo let's talk feelings" undertone, but it's also a tool you can use to understand what motivates your team; to spot blockers before they become a problem; and to get a "health check" on the projects you oversee. Sounds useful when you read it from that definition, doesn't it.

This session will be broken into three parts:

Level 1: "Caring just enough." The basic human skills you know about, and use, outside of work. This section is most relevant to team members who want to promote a healthy workplace culture.
Level 2: "Thinking strategies." Using your team’s motivators to help them succeed. This section will be most useful to those who manage people and team leads.
Level 3: "Imagination." Learning to complain from the other person’s perspective. This section will be most useful to those who manage people and team leads.
Even if you still aren't comfortable with the "e" word by the end of this talk, you will have a better grasp on how to apply work-place appropriate, tangible techniques to produce higher functioning, happier teams.

Slides from operability.io.

Emma Jane Hogbin Westby

September 25, 2015
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  1. CULTIVATING EMPATHY
    Emma Jane Hogbin Westby
    www.gitforteams.com

    @emmajanehw

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  2. YESTERDAY...
    • Sit beside someone and work together (pair programming).
    • Distributed teams: be explicit in communicating your
    feelings, especially in text.
    • Trust is earned, not bought or given.

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  3. OUTCOMES
    • Improve team cohesion.
    • Engineer successful (human interaction) outcomes.
    • Improve capacity for diverse thinking.
    • Foster creative problem solving.

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  4. Actually, this talk is titled...
    A primer on how

    I taught myself to be more empathetic.

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  5. THIS IS A TOUCHY
    FEELY WOO WOO TALK.
    Sorry. Not Sorry.

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  6. Temple Grandin
    Normal people have an incredible
    lack of empathy.

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  8. DEFINE: EMPATHY
    The ability to understand and share
    the feelings of another.

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  9. DEFINE: SYMPATHY
    The feelings of pity and sorrow
    for someone else's misfortune.

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  10. PRACTICING EMPATHY
    Level 1: Care just enough to learn more about a person’s life.
    Level 2: Use thinking strategies to structure interactions.
    Level 3: Engage with the world from another’s perspective.

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  11. LEVEL 1.
    CARING JUST ENOUGH
    Difficulty — Beginner

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  12. Molly Ringwald
    Compartmentalisation is way overrated.

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  13. REWARDS & RISKS
    Improve team cohesion.
    Requires a time investment.
    CARING JUST ENOUGH

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  14. COLLECT STORIES.
    Learn about people by asking them questions.
    CARING JUST ENOUGH

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  15. STFU AND LISTEN.
    Listen until there is no more story. Respond.
    CARING JUST ENOUGH

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  16. REFER BACK.
    Follow-up on a previous story.
    CARING JUST ENOUGH

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  17. LEVEL 2.
    THINKING STRATEGIES
    Difficulty — Intermediate

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  18. The biggest mistake is believing there is
    only one way to have a connection.
    Deborah Tannen

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  19. REWARDS & RISKS
    Engineer successful outcomes.
    Improve capacity for diverse thinking.
    Perceived as manipulative.
    THINKING STRATEGIES

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  20. UNCOVER MOTIVATORS.
    THINKING STRATEGIES
    Unpack why a person behaves the way they do.

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  21. THINKING STRATEGIES
    Decision-Making
    validate
    values-driven
    experience
    crux
    trust your heart
    conclude
    Understanding
    clarify
    empathise
    tune-in
    scan
    express
    structure
    Creativity
    brainstorm
    challenge
    reframe
    envision
    flow
    flash of insight

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  22. View Slide

  23. CREATIVE THINKING
    brainstorm
    challenge
    reframe
    envision
    flow
    flash of insight

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  24. RECOGNISE

    CREATIVE LANGUAGE
    Can we try ...
    I know we’re done, but what about ...
    OMG! I just had this great idea ...
    Why do you think ...
    Is this the best we can do ...

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  25. UNDERSTANDING THINKING
    clarify
    empathise
    tune-in
    scan
    express
    structure

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  26. RECOGNISE
    UNDERSTANDING LANGUAGE
    So what you’re saying is ...
    Just to clarify ...
    I think this is related to ...
    So I made this spreadsheet ...
    That must feel horrible!

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  27. DECISION THINKING
    validate
    values-driven
    experience
    crux
    gut instinct
    conclude

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  28. RECOGNISE
    DECISION LANGUAGE
    I’m ready to move on to ...
    I don’t know why I think this, but ...
    Last time we tried this ...
    The real problem is ...
    My gut tells me ...

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  29. CREATE OUTCOME-
    BASED INTERACTIONS.
    THINKING STRATEGIES
    Help me help you.

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  30. Emma’s

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  31. LEVEL 3.
    IMAGINATION
    Difficulty — Advanced

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  32. REWARDS & RISKS
    Foster creative problem solving.
    Potentially overwhelming.

    Can cause doubt for self-worth.
    IMAGINATION

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  33. SEEK TO UNDERSTAND.
    Complain about yourself from the other’s perspective.
    IMAGINATION

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  34. SEEK TO EXPERIENCE.
    Live your day through the other’s constraints.
    IMAGINATION

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  35. Bob Wiele
    The thinking process
    should be no more left to chance

    than the deliberate practice of a skill.

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  36. EMPATHY
    PRACTITIONERS

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  37. IN SUMMARY
    • Level 1: Care just enough.

    Improve team cohesion.
    • Level 2: Structure interactions.

    Engineer successful (human interaction) outcomes.

    Improve capacity for diverse thinking.
    • Level 3: Use another’s perspective.

    Foster creative problem solving.

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  38. Maya Angelou
    I think we all have empathy.

    We may not have enough courage to display it.

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  39. PRACTICE AND CULTIVATE

    EMPATHY
    follow-up:

    @emmajanehw

    emma @ git for teams.com
    gitforteams.com/resources/cultivating-empathy.html

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