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Lies

2274a7476f6d2ac7aedcdec0651d0542?s=47 Ernie Miller
November 12, 2016

 Lies

All abstractions are lies, if they are abstractions at all, and as developers, we live our lives surrounded by them. What makes a some abstractions better than others? This will be an opinionated and empowering look at the value and nature of abstractions, with a jaunt through quantum mechanics and the nature of reality.

You know, just your average talk.

2274a7476f6d2ac7aedcdec0651d0542?s=128

Ernie Miller

November 12, 2016
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  1. LIES ERNIE MILLER erniemiller https://ernie.io

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  6. #!/usr/bin/perl # Print the text of "99 Bottles of Beer"

    ''=~( '(?{' .('`' |'%') .('[' ^'-') .('`' |'!') .('`' |',') .'"'. '\\$' .'==' .('[' ^'+') .('`' |'/') .('[' ^'+') .'||' .(';' &'=') .(';' &'=') .';-' .'-'. '\\$' .'=;' .('[' ^'(') .('[' ^'.') .('`' |'"') .('!' ^'+') .'_\\{' .'(\\$' .';=('. '\\$=|' ."\|".( '`'^'.' ).(('`')| '/').').' .'\\"'.+( '{'^'['). ('`'|'"') .('`'|'/' ).('['^'/') .('['^'/'). ('`'|',').( '`'|('%')). '\\".\\"'.( '['^('(')). '\\"'.('['^ '#').'!!--' .'\\$=.\\"' .('{'^'['). ('`'|'/').( '`'|"\&").( '{'^"\[").( '`'|"\"").( '`'|"\%").( '`'|"\%").( '['^(')')). '\\").\\"'. ('{'^'[').( '`'|"\/").( '`'|"\.").( '{'^"\[").( '['^"\/").( '`'|"\(").( '`'|"\%").( '{'^"\[").( '['^"\,").( '`'|"\!").( '`'|"\,").( '`'|(',')). '\\"\\}'.+( '['^"\+").( '['^"\)").( '`'|"\)").( '`'|"\.").( '['^('/')). '+_,\\",'.( '{'^('[')). ('\\$;!').( '!'^"\+").( '{'^"\/").( '`'|"\!").( '`'|"\+").( '`'|"\%").( '{'^"\[").( '`'|"\/").( '`'|"\.").( '`'|"\%").( '{'^"\[").( '`'|"\$").( '`'|"\/").( '['^"\,").( '`'|('.')). ','.(('{')^ '[').("\["^ '+').("\`"| '!').("\["^ '(').("\["^ '(').("\{"^ '[').("\`"| ')').("\["^ '/').("\{"^ '[').("\`"| '!').("\["^ ')').("\`"| '/').("\["^ '.').("\`"| '.').("\`"| '$')."\,".( '!'^('+')). '\\",_,\\"' .'!'.("\!"^ '+').("\!"^ '+').'\\"'. ('['^',').( '`'|"\(").( '`'|"\)").( '`'|"\,").( '`'|('%')). '++\\$="})' );$:=('.')^ '~';$~='@'| '(';$^=')'^ '[';$/='`';
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  12. LOOK, THIS COULD ALL GO HORRIBLY WRONG. Me, in the

    proposal for “Choices” HOW (NOT) TO WEASEL YOUR WAY OUT OF A CONFERENCE SLOT
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  15. THE RIGHT TECH FEELS LIKE A CHEAT CODE.

  16. NBD.

  17. VBD!

  18. ESTIMATES

  19. a false statement made with deliberate intent to deceive; an

    intentional untruth, a falsehood. LIE noun
  20. ⛏➡➡❓

  21. ❓➡⛏➡

  22. ) ❗

  23. ) ❗ ❗ ❗

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  32. Hash trees can be used to verify any kind of

    data stored, handled and transferred in and between computers. “ — Wikipedia, "Merkle Tree"
  33. […] make sure that data blocks received from other peers

    in a peer-to-peer network are received undamaged and unaltered, and even to check that the other peers do not lie and send fake blocks. “ — Wikipedia, "Merkle Tree"
  34. git rebase

  35. git commit --fixup git rebase --interactive git rebase --autosquash git

    commit --amend git add --interactive
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  38. git push --force

  39. ABSTRACTION

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  41. you are here.

  42. OPINIONS

  43. OPINIONS

  44. FEELINGS♥

  45. FEELINGS♥ ARE HARD

  46. FEELINGS ARE HARD

  47. SCIENCE

  48. QUANTUM MECHANICS

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  53. CHRISTIAAN HUYGENS 1629 - 1695

  54. 1643 - 1727 ISAAC NEWTON

  55. 1773 - 1829 THOMAS YOUNG

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  58. The experiments I am about to relate […] may be

    repeated with great ease, whenever the sun shines, and without any other apparatus than is at hand to every one. “ — Thomas Young, November 1803
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  60. circa 460 BC - 370 BC DEMOCRITUS

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  63. 1856 - 1940 J. J. THOMPSON

  64. 1856 - 1940 J. J. THOMPSON

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  67. 1879 - 1955 ALBERT EINSTEIN

  68. Told you so.

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  75. 1901 - 1976 WERNER HEISENBERG 1885 - 1962 NIELS BOHR

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  80. 1887 - 1961 ERWIN SCHRÖDINGER

  81. 1887 - 1961 ERWIN SCHRÖDINGER

  82. Left to right: Albert Einstein, Boris Podolsky, and Nathan Rosen.

  83. CORRECT, BUT NOT COMPLETE.

  84. Flickr: Apionid
 CC BY-NC-ND 2.0

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  87. 1930 - 1982 HUGH EVERETT III

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  89. Dear Schrödinger: You are the only contemporary physicist, besides Laue,

    who sees that one cannot get around the assumption of reality, if only one is honest. “ — Einstein, December 22nd, 1950
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  91. ESTIMATES

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  96. http://simulation-argument.com/simulation.pdf

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  105. IGNORANCE IS BLISS.

  106. ABSTRACTION

  107. FEELINGS WARNING! AHEAD ⚠

  108. TRUTH

  109. TRUTH

  110. TRUTH

  111. SUSPENSION
 OF DISBELIEF

  112. SUSPENSION
 OF DISBELIEF

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  114. class Person attr_reader :name def initialize(name) @name = name end

    end
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  120. CSS HTML JS State

  121. ❓ ☔

  122. ‼ ☔

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  124. ⚠ %section.container %h1= post.title %h2= post.subtitle .content = post.content

  125. ⚠ $font-stack: Helvetica, sans-serif $primary-color: #333 body font: 100% $font-stack

    color: $primary-color
  126. ⚠ number = 42 opposite = true number = -42

    if opposite square = (x) -> x * x list = [1, 2, 3, 4, 5] math = root: Math.sqrt square: square cube: (x) -> x * square x
  127. State

  128. ERB State

  129. ERB c State

  130. ERB c State

  131. ERB c State

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  135. Chrome iOS

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  142. BUILDING A STATEFUL APPLICATION ON THE BACK OF A STATELESS

    PROTOCOL IS A TOTALLY REASONABLE PLAN. Many, many liars. Including me. NOPE.
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  144. ERB c Processes

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  146. PROCESSES

  147. PROCESSES Wikimedia: Jdcollins13 - CC-BY-SA 3.0

  148. CHAT PRESENTATION USER USER USER USER HTTP USER USER USER

    USER Elixir JS/React
  149. CHAT PRESENTATION USER USER USER USER HTTP USER USER USER

    USER Ruby JS/React Guild Guild Guild
  150. CHAT PRESENTATION USER USER USER USER HTTP USER USER USER

    USER Ruby JS/React Guild Guild Guild ????
  151. ERNIE MILLER erniemiller https://ernie.io LIES

  152. ERNIE MILLER erniemiller https://ernie.io IGNORANCE IS BLISS.