Your Emotional API: How to be a better developer by being a better human v2

Feelings are messy and uncomfortable, so why can't you just ignore them? Because it doesn’t work; you’ll write substandard code and be a suboptimal teammate.

Research shows that emotional regulation skills have a significant impact on your job performance. In this talk you’ll learn how emotions are affecting your work and what you can do about it.

I use the metaphor of an API as a way to talk about how your emotional system functions. We’ll go over some of the code in your emotional API, and how we can refactor it.

This will improve your coding, your relationships, and the arc of your career.

Transcript

1. Your Emotional API How to be a better developer by being a better human Self Conference v2
2. @emotionalAPI John Sawers Founder and CTO of Data Simply Senior Developer at Privia Health @emotionalapi @johnksawers http://emotionalapi.com he/his/him
3. “Emotions just make so much sense to me” — No One Ever
4. @emotionalAPI • Cry • Make a Scene • Whine • Yell Don’t
5. @emotionalAPI Do
6. @emotionalAPI We’re on our own
7. “Trying not to feel something doesn’t work, and in some cases even backfires” David Rock Your Brain At Work[11]
8. Better Human? @emotionalAPI
9. @emotionalAPI Better Developer?
10. @emotionalAPI post '/feels/anger' do
 ...
 end
 post '/feels/sadness' do
 ...
 end
 post '/feels/fear' do
 ...
 end
 post '/feels/shame' do
 ...
 end
 post '/feels/joy' do
 ...
 end
 post '/feels/love' do
 ...
 end
 Endpoints
11. @emotionalAPI Aliases delete '/job/12', 301: '/feels/sadness'
 put '/events/mother/visit', 301: '/feels/anger'
 put '/baby/new', 301: '/feels/fear'
 post '/people/co-worker/comments/jerk', 301: '/feels/anger'
 get '/people/boss/compliment', 301: '/feels/pride
12. @emotionalAPI Methods delete '/job/:id'
 100.times do
 Thread.new(post('/feels/fear')
 end
 20.times do
 Thread.new(post('/feels/sadness')
 end
 end
13. @emotionalAPI It Is A Public API The Bad News
14. “But feelings are icky, and I don’t wanna” — You, probably
15. @emotionalAPI Coding Solo
16. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems
17. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1]
18. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1] • Poorer Short Term Memory [2]
19. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1] • Poorer Short Term Memory [2] • Lower ability to handle stress and cope with crisis [3]
20. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Health Benefits • “not just in improved behavior but in measurable academic achievement.”[5] • “measurable health advantage”[9]
21. @emotionalAPI Coding Together
22. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems • More self-centered [4]
23. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Social Benefits • “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7]
24. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Social Benefits • “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7] • Help others with their emotional challenges
25. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Social Benefits • “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7] • Help others with their emotional challenges • Empathy!
26. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Social Benefits • “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7] • Help others with their emotional challenges • Empathy! • Better career advancement[8]
27. Scenarios
28. @emotionalAPI Degraded Cognition
29. @emotionalAPI Advocate for Ideas
30. @emotionalAPI Code Reviews
31. @emotionalAPI Distraction
32. @emotionalAPI Problematic Teammates
33. @emotionalAPI Impostor Syndrome
34. @emotionalAPI Interviewed, Hired, Fired
35. @emotionalAPI Manage & Mentor
36. http://frontside.io/ Senior Software Developer
37. Soft Skills Super Hard Skills
38. Toolkit
39. @emotionalAPI Level 1: Conceptual Tools Level 2: On Your Own Level 3: With Someone Else Level 4: With a Group
40. @emotionalAPI Level 1 Conceptual Tools
41. @emotionalAPI You Control The Implementation
42. @emotionalAPI You can control where and when you express your feelings (But you don’t have to)
43. @emotionalAPI get('/feels/anger').perform_later
44. @emotionalAPI They Don’t Mean Anything
45. @emotionalAPI Fear of Loss of Control
46. @emotionalAPI Feelings are Enumerable, not Boolean
47. @emotionalAPI There Is No Should
48. @emotionalAPI Level 2 On Your Own
49. @emotionalAPI Rubber Duck Debugging
50. @emotionalAPI Talking “…consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.” David Rock Your Brain At Work[10]
51. @emotionalAPI Try Lots of Words
52. @emotionalAPI “I feel” vs. “I am”
53. @emotionalAPI Emotional Retro
54. @emotionalAPI Move Your Body
55. @emotionalAPI Move Your Body Dancing • Singing • Exercise
56. @emotionalAPI Level 3 With Another Person
57. @emotionalAPI Talking
58. @emotionalAPI Feel first
59. @emotionalAPI Feel first
60. @emotionalAPI Emotional Mentorship
61. @emotionalAPI Open Sourcing Mental Illness is a campaign founded by Ed Finkler to change how we deal with mental health in the tech community. https://osmihelp.org/ @OSMIhelp
62. @emotionalAPI Level 4 With A Group
63. @emotionalAPI How did I get here? “…an intensive 20-hr Weekend Retreat in which you will explore your erroneous belief systems, learn to appropriately express emotions in a manner that heals…” Purpose • Passion • Peace http://aliceamos.me/p3retreat/
64. GET /feels/
65. @emotionalAPI Me
66. @emotionalAPI GET '/events/something/trivial' ⬇ POST ‘/feels/anger'
67. @emotionalAPI Do
68. @emotionalAPI Safe Space
69. @emotionalAPI Throw A Fit
70. @emotionalAPI Throw A Fit
71. GET /feels/
72. @emotionalAPI delete ‘/v5/parents/marriage’
 
 post ‘/v6/parents/:dad_id/set_emotional_distance/1000’
 
 post ‘/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer’
 
 delete ‘/v17/parents/:dad_id’
73. @emotionalAPI /v5 delete ‘/v5/parents/marriage’ do
 20.times.do {
 Thread.new(get('/feels/fear'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/blame'))
 }
 delete('/feels/self_worth')
 end
74. @emotionalAPI /v8 post /v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer do
 20.times.do {
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/fear'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
75. @emotionalAPI /v17 def ‘/v17/parents/:dad_id’ do
 1000.times.do {
 Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
76. @emotionalAPI Stack Trace NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass: /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize' /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’ /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’ /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
77. @emotionalAPI Stack Trace NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass: /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize' /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’ /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’ /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
78. “Crying doesn’t indicate you are weak, since birth it has always been a sign to indicate you are alive” — attributed to Charlotte Brontë
79. @emotionalAPI /v17 def ‘/v17/parents/:dad_id’ do
 1000.times.do {
 Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
80. @emotionalAPI Diff def ‘/v17/parents/:dad_id’ do
 1000.times.do { 500.times.do {
 Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
81. @emotionalAPI Diff get ‘/me/events/releases/prod/bugs/count_high’ do
 Thread.new(get('/feels/unloved'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/panic'))
 puts 'oops'
 fix_it
 move_on
 end
82. @emotionalAPI Baggage
83. @emotionalAPI The Ultimate Goal
84. @emotionalAPI Best Practices
85. @emotionalAPI Pick One Thing
86. @emotionalAPI Compassion
87. DEEP BREATH
88. @emotionalAPI Thank You So Much Mailing List: http://emotionalapi.com Twitter: @emotionalAPI
89. @emotionalAPI Come get a feeling wheel! I’d love to hear what your ‘one thing’ is
90. @emotionalAPI References [1],[2] “…a lack of power impairs our cognitive function.’ Amy Cuddy, Presence 119 [3] “In fact, people who have a high sense of personal control…cope significantly better in crisis…because their executive functions are intact” Amy Cuddy, Presence, 136 [4] “Powerlessness makes us self-absorbed” Amy Cuddy, Presence 121 [5] “Helping children improve their self-awareness and confidence, manage their disturbing emotional impulses and increase their empathy pays off not just in improved behavior but in measurable academic achievement.” — Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xi [6] “The [people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships” Smith, P.K., Dijkterhuis, A, & Wigbuldus, D.H. Psychology Science, 19, 1258-1259 [7] “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.” Amy Cuddy, Presence 127 [8] “…having high leadership potential were far stronger in EI competencies…” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xiii [9] “Those who can mange their emotional lives with more calm and self-awareness … have … distinct and measurable health advantage … confirmed by many studies” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xi [10] “…when they were asked to name the emotion, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex activated and reduced the emotional amygdala reactivity. In other words, consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.” David Rock, Your Brain At Work 127 [11] Gross found that people who tried to suppress a negative emotional experience failed to do so. While they thought they looked fine outwardly, inwardly their limbic system was just as aroused as without suppression. Trying not to feel something doesn’t work, and in some cases even backfires. David Rock, Your Brain At Work 119