In this talk we are going to create a functional and blazingly fast microservice. We will use functional programming abstractions to quickly mix & match different HTTP libraries, state implementations and concurrency configurations. Each step will be followed by a performance analysis using different tools from JVM toolbox. This talk is for you if you want to see how cats IO monad, async-profiler, flame graphs and wrk are used together to create microseconds-fast Scala service for YouTube videos statistics.