Getting Your Point Across: The Psychology of Communication

@arthurdoler Arthur Doler Resources: @arthurdoler Boring details about me are
at https://arthurdoler.com GETTING YOUR POINT ACROSS The psychology of communication http://bit.ly/art-communication

@arthurdoler It really is assumed to be common knowledge…

@arthurdoler … but it’s pretty obvious when you think about
it

@arthurdoler (not to scale)

@arthurdoler Stutz et al, 2015

@arthurdoler Two great tastes, together for the first time

@arthurdoler Please do not harass mimes, they’re just folks doing
their jobs

@arthurdoler It’s hard to care about what you don’t understand

@arthurdoler Make sure to spend skill points on it when
you level up

@arthurdoler What a Context Is High Context vs Low Context
False Cognates & Shibboleths Information vs Communication Dealing with Conflict & Disagreements Let’s crack in!

@arthurdoler LET’S MEET OUR GUIDES ON THIS JOURNEY On this
journey you learn about talking through me talking

@arthurdoler You probably know who he is

@arthurdoler https://twitter.com/FreyjaErlings/status/1122792633489817601, joke used with permission of the author

@arthurdoler Copyright Paramount Pictures, 1991

@arthurdoler It’s less likely you know who she is

@arthurdoler Text copyright Harper Collins. Date unknown.

@arthurdoler CONTEXTS Vast, unseen, swirling around us and surrounding us…

@arthurdoler She’s come to clean up your code

@arthurdoler Talk about being thrown in the deep end…

@arthurdoler I’m sure this won’t go wrong.

@arthurdoler National Instruments - http://www.ni.com/cms/images/devzone/tut/DataFinder_in_DIAdem.png

@arthurdoler Just a slight misunderstanding

@arthurdoler Copyright Paramount Pictures, 1991

@arthurdoler National Instruments - http://www.ni.com/cms/images/devzone/tut/DIAdem_VIEW.PNG

@arthurdoler Still not great

@arthurdoler JunkCharts - https://junkcharts.typepad.com/junk_charts/2013/01/ruining-the-cake-with-too-much- icing.html

@arthurdoler An accurate picture of most developers, tbf

@arthurdoler Yup, this is surely going to make things better

@arthurdoler This whole scenario has been confusing!

@arthurdoler Matzen, Trumbo, Leach, and Leshikar, 2015

@arthurdoler Edelman, 2008

@arthurdoler Note that there’s two arrows here…

@arthurdoler Ferguson, Lennox-Terrion, Ahmed, & Jaya, 2014

@arthurdoler SHARED CONTEXTS Western Cultural Context Startup Context Company-Specific Context
Fun exercise – what contexts do you share with others watching this talk?

@arthurdoler Würtz, 2005

@arthurdoler You take the high context, and I’ll take the
low context…

@arthurdoler “High” is not synonymous with “good”, here

@arthurdoler FEWER WORDS PER MESSAGE Hall, 1989

@arthurdoler EXPLANATION IS SPARSE; THE CULTURE FILLS IN Hall, 1989

@arthurdoler INDIVIDUAL WORDS CAN MEAN A LOT Hall, 1989

@arthurdoler MORE IDIOMS Hall, 1989

@arthurdoler MORE HOMOGENOUS OR EXCLUSIVE Hall, 1989

@arthurdoler “Low” is not synonymous with “Bad”, either

@arthurdoler MORE WORDS PER MESSAGE Hall, 1989

@arthurdoler TENDS TO EXPLAIN THINGS FURTHER Hall, 1989

@arthurdoler VALUE OF A SINGLE WORD IS LESS IMPORTANT Hall,
1989

@arthurdoler USED MORE IN HETEROGENEOUS POPULATIONS Hall, 1989

@arthurdoler Würtz, 2005

@arthurdoler HOW TO COMMUNICATE WELL IN CONTEXTS Navigating through the
clouds

@arthurdoler KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE Always a good idea

@arthurdoler You’ve probably got more in common than you think

@arthurdoler This can be trickier than it seems.

@arthurdoler If you learn a bunch of contexts, you can
be a translator for others.

@arthurdoler It’s sad to see a good captain succumb to
buzzword fever.

@arthurdoler In developer terms…

@arthurdoler In business terms…

@arthurdoler This has tripped me up more than once SIMPLE
SAFE VS VS COMPLEX RISKY

@arthurdoler FALSE COGNATES Any linguists in the audience please don’t
yell at me :c

@arthurdoler This effect can get even deeper when you consider
connotations…

@arthurdoler AVOID MISUNDERSTANDING BY UNPACKING TERMS In other words, defaulting
to a very low context.

@arthurdoler Technically he’s not defining the center point so it’s
not explicit enough

@arthurdoler “BEST OF BREED” Containing must-have features that clearly outperform
all other software in its class Remember, you’re explaining what the term means to you.

@arthurdoler At least it’s not a conservation of angular momentum
problem

@arthurdoler “BEST OF BREED” •50% revenue increase driven by new
features •Software added to the Gartner Magic Quadrant •150% increase in intern applications … sure, those all seem reasonable

@arthurdoler The consequences don’t have to be personal, either.

@arthurdoler “BEST OF BREED” “If we do not achieve this
goal, we’ll fail to get our next round of funding.” Time to polish up the resume, probably

@arthurdoler DON’T USE JARGON OR SHIBBOLETHS Uh…

@arthurdoler Copyright Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, 1987

@arthurdoler SHIBBOLETH (N): FROM HEBREW ŠIBBŌLEṮ, “EAR OF CORN” 2A:
a use of language regarded as distinctive of a particular group 2B: a custom or usage regarded as distinguishing one group from others Merriam-Webster (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shibboleth)

@arthurdoler XAML Not easy to know how to even pronounce
it.

@arthurdoler INSTANCE Did you know “instance” can also be a
verb?

@arthurdoler “SEQUEL" I would also accept “squeal” for this entry.

@arthurdoler SCHEDULING This is my favorite one of these.

@arthurdoler The developer-y way of thinking about it

@arthurdoler INFORMATION VS COMMUNICATION

@arthurdoler Jacobs, Konrad [CC BY-SA 2.0 de (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/de/deed.en)]

@arthurdoler Reza (1994), An Introduction to Information Theory

@arthurdoler If you just want to transmit, build a transmitter.

@arthurdoler Feels like a weird question coming halfway through the
talk…

@arthurdoler Note: this is a model of what is going
on, not what is actually going on

@arthurdoler This is closer but it’s still a model

@arthurdoler Nonaka & Takeuchi, 1995

@arthurdoler This can be as painful as this drawing makes
it seem.

@arthurdoler Worthington, 2015

@arthurdoler NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION Not just limited to rude gestures

@arthurdoler Kinesics (body language) Proxemics (distance) Paralanguage (tone of voice)
Haptics (touch) Eye contact Frequency of glances Patterns of fixation Oculesics (blink rate) Giri, (2009)

@arthurdoler Two distinct, bidirectional channels

@arthurdoler Chartrand & Bargh, 1999

@arthurdoler Pfeifer, Iacoboni, Mazziotta, & Daprettoa, 2007

@arthurdoler REMEMBER, WE’RE SOCIAL ANIMALS You could even make an
argument we’re hypersocial animals

@arthurdoler Nothing more than feelings… ♪♪

@arthurdoler Generally accepted as good advice

@arthurdoler Please consult your doctor if your gut is actually
speaking to you.

@arthurdoler TACIT VS EXPLICIT KNOWLEDGE We’re learning all kinds of
categories today

@arthurdoler Nonaka & Takeuchi, 1995

@arthurdoler Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow

@arthurdoler Communicating the uncommunicatable

@arthurdoler REACH FOR ANALOGY OR METAPHOR As though reaching for
truth across the span of miles

@arthurdoler EXPRESS IT NONVERBALLY Interpretive dance, anyone?

@arthurdoler COMMUNICATE THE FEELING AND GIVE IT TIME Your brain’s
automated processes want to chew on it for a while.

@arthurdoler oh no she didn’t!!!!

@arthurdoler SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND Covey, 1989

@arthurdoler ACTIVE LISTENING Did you know this is an actual
practice you can get wrong?

@arthurdoler This definition brought to you by the Tautological Department
of Tautologies

@arthurdoler Well, since you asked so nicely…

@arthurdoler 1. FULLY CONCENTRATE, LISTEN, & REMEMBER Atwater, 1981

@arthurdoler 2. DON’T JUST THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO
SAY NEXT! Atwater, 1981

@arthurdoler 3. REPEAT WHAT THEY SAID BACK TO THEM Atwater,
1981

@arthurdoler Way easier to describe it than to do it

@arthurdoler FIND A FRIENDLY PARTICIPANT & ALTERNATE LISTENING Be sure
to schedule several hours for this.

@arthurdoler GO GET IN ARGUMENTS (NOT ON THE INTERNET) I’m
100% serious about that last bit, ONLY DO THIS IN PERSON

@arthurdoler OTHER CONFLICT MANAGEMENT METHODS Not including trial by combat

@arthurdoler ASSUME YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE WRONG This part hurts,
but…

@arthurdoler ASSUME THEY MIGHT BE RIGHT This part is even
more painful.

@arthurdoler COGNITIVE EMPATHY To be honest this sounds like a
Radiohead album

@arthurdoler Gerace, Day, Casey, & Mohr, 2013

@arthurdoler Ross, Greene, and House, 1977

@arthurdoler

@arthurdoler Strategies for personal improvements

@arthurdoler KNOW YOUR CONTEXTS Self-examination is useful anyhow.

@arthurdoler ACTIVELY LISTEN And practice it when you can.

@arthurdoler EXPLORE & EXPERIENCE MANY CONTEXTS YOURSELF Get to know
other people and listen to how they talk.

@arthurdoler MIRROR OTHER PEOPLE You’ll often do this naturally, pay
attention to when you do it.

@arthurdoler PRACTICE YOUR COGNITIVE EMPATHY Everybody’s coming from somewhere different.

@arthurdoler Arthur Doler My website is probably still https://arthurdoler.com Resources:
http://bit.ly/art-communication

Getting Your Point Across: The Psychology of Co...

Getting Your Point Across: The Psychology of Communication

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