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Business in Marriage: The Third Spouse

Erik Reagan
October 06, 2014

Business in Marriage: The Third Spouse

This is the trimmed down slide deck from my talk at ExpressionEngine Conference 2014.

Summary:

We love making things. That's why we go to conferences to learn about how we can make better things in better ways. Many of us love making things so much that it's what we spend the majority of our day doing. And if we're not careful, we spend the majority of our nights and weekends making things too. That's not inherently bad, but when you consider the fuller life that we're each living, there's a huge risk that we lose focus and perspective of what really matters to us.

This session will be incredibly honest and transparent. We'll talk about entrepreneurship and relationships. I'll share part of my wife and I's story. I'll also have some guests share their stories. We'll talk about marriages that have been strong, weak, or even failed due—in part—to the effects that running a business can have on owners and spouses. If you're married, or might one day be married, this session might just change your life. Or maybe the life of someone you know after you walk away with something that could help them.

Erik Reagan

October 06, 2014
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Transcript

  1. Business in Marriage
    The Third Spouse
    Erik Reagan
    Operations Director
    Focus Lab, LLC

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  2. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    — Brad Feld
    “Your startup is a part of your life,
    not your entire life. ”

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  3. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips

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  4. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    1. alignment

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  5. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    1. alignment
    Take time to define your own values and priorities, and
    those you share as a couple.

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  6. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    1. alignment
    Set some short term goals.

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  7. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    1. alignment
    Set some long term goals.

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  8. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    1. alignment
    Define expectations of hours, how much is shared, and
    how to handle exceptions.

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  9. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    1. alignment
    Build in a kill switch and use it if you have to.

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  10. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    2. delegation & hiring

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  11. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    2. delegation & hiring
    With any given task, your options are to do it yourself, hire
    someone, outsource, or don’t complete the task.

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  12. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    2. delegation & hiring
    Hiring team members can free up a ton of your time.

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  13. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    2. delegation & hiring
    Hiring team members can free take up a ton of your time.

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  14. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    2. delegation & hiring
    Working with people is messy. Adding a layer of “management”
    means you might bring new or added stresses home.

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  15. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    2. delegation & hiring
    Ultimately—hiring should have a positive impact or you’re
    doing it wrong.

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  16. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    3. boundaries

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  17. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    3. boundaries
    Define boundaries with clients, team members, and your
    spouse that help you retain a distinction between work
    time and non-work time.

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  18. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    3. boundaries
    Practice saying “no” at the right times and to the right people.

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  19. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    3. boundaries
    Define working hours with your clients.

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  20. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    3. boundaries
    Define working hours with your spouse (and kids).

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  21. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    3. boundaries
    Set aside a transition time after work so you can actually
    be present when you’re with family.

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  22. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    4. prioritizing health

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  23. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    4. prioritizing health
    Few things have as big of an impact, across the board,
    as your health.

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  24. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    4. prioritizing health
    Be conscious of your diet at home and at work.

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  25. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    4. prioritizing health
    Figure out what the ideal sleeping pattern is for you.

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  26. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    4. prioritizing health
    Exercise regularly.

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  27. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Big Tips
    4. prioritizing health
    Build into your schedule time for mental space. Slow down.

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  28. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Quick Tips

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  29. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Quick Tips
    1. Don’t stop dating your spouse

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  30. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Quick Tips
    2. Measure your laughter

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  31. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Quick Tips
    3. Ask each other questions

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  32. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Quick Tips
    4. Invest in your relationship

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  33. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Quick Tips
    5. Put down your freakin’ phones

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  34. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Quick Tips
    5. Turn off your freakin’ phones
    Put down

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  35. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Recommended
    Resources

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  36. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    For Better or For Work
    A Survival Guide for Entrepreneurs
    and Their Families
    March 2012

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  37. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Startup Life
    Surviving and Thriving in a
    Relationship with an Entrepreneur
    January 2013

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  38. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Boundaries
    When to Say Yes, When to Say No to
    Take Control of Your Life
    April 1992

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  39. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    Marriage Startup
    A weekly podcast hosted by
    Leslie and Laura Camacho
    Started July 2014

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  40. @erikreagan
    #eeconf
    — Herbert Spencer
    “The great aim of education is not
    knowledge but action.”

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  41. Thanks!
    Erik Reagan
    @erikreagan
    @focuslabllc

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