Hacking Your Emotional API

Being a good developer isn't just about slinging code; we're part of a community. Interacting with others in a community means feelings are involved.

But feelings are messy and uncomfortable, so why can't you just ignore them? Because emotional skills are critical for working well on a team, and for writing code every day.

In this talk you’ll learn how emotions are affecting you by modeling them as an API and looking at the code.

Transcript

1. Welcome
   

   View Slide

2. Welcome
   

   View Slide

3. Your Emotional API
   How to be a better developer by being a better human
   v2.5
   

   View Slide

4. @emotionalAPI
   John Sawers
   Founder and CTO of Data Simply
   Senior Developer at Privia Health
   @emotionalapi
   @johnksawers
   http://emotionalapi.com
   he/his/him
   

   View Slide

5. “Emotions just make so much sense to me”
   — No One Ever
   

   View Slide

6. @emotionalAPI
   • Cry
   • Make a Scene
   • Whine
   • Yell
   Don’t
   

   View Slide

7. @emotionalAPI
   Do
   •
   •
   •
   •
   

   View Slide

8. @emotionalAPI
   We’re on our own
   

   View Slide

9. Endpoints
   @emotionalAPI
   

   View Slide

10. Middleware
    @emotionalAPI
    delete /job/12
    put /events/mother/visit
    put /baby/new
    post /people/co-worker/insult
    get /people/boss/compliment
    /feels/sadness

    /feels/anger

    /feels/fear

    /feels/anger

    /feels/pride
    Senses
    Wetware
    Inputs
    

    View Slide

11. Middleware
    @emotionalAPI
    delete /job/12
    put /events/mother/visit
    put /baby/new
    post /people/co-worker/insult
    get /people/boss/compliment
    /feels/love

    /feels/anger

    /feels/fear

    /feels/shame

    /feels/pride
    Senses
    Wetware
    Inputs
    

    View Slide

12. Methods
    delete '/job/:id'

    100.times do

    Thread.new(post('/feels/fear')

    end

    20.times do

    Thread.new(post('/feels/sadness')

    end

    end
    @emotionalAPI
    

    View Slide

13. @emotionalAPI
    A Public API
    The Bad News
    

    View Slide

14. Decomposability
    @emotionalAPI
    

    View Slide

15. “But feelings are icky, and I don’t wanna”
    — You, probably
    

    View Slide

16. “Trying not to feel something
    doesn’t work, and in some cases
    even backfires”
    David Rock
    Your Brain At Work[11]
    

    View Slide

17. @emotionalAPI
    Coding Solo
    

    View Slide

18. @emotionalAPI
    Cognitive Problems
    

    View Slide

19. @emotionalAPI
    Cognitive Problems
    • Poorer Executive Function [1]
    

    View Slide

20. @emotionalAPI
    Cognitive Problems
    • Poorer Executive Function [1]
    • Poorer Short Term Memory [2]
    

    View Slide

21. @emotionalAPI
    Cognitive Problems
    • Poorer Executive Function [1]
    • Poorer Short Term Memory [2]
    • Lower ability to handle stress and cope with crisis [3]
    

    View Slide

22. @emotionalAPI
    Cognitive & Health Benefits
    • “…not just in improved behavior but in measurable academic
    achievement.”[5]
    • “…measurable health advantage”[9]
    

    View Slide

23. @emotionalAPI
    Coding Together
    

    View Slide

24. @emotionalAPI
    Cognitive & Social Benefits
    • “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression
    more accurately.”[7]
    

    View Slide

25. @emotionalAPI
    Cognitive & Social Benefits
    • “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression
    more accurately.”[7]
    • Better career advancement[8]
    

    View Slide

26. @emotionalAPI
    Cognitive & Social Benefits
    • “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression
    more accurately.”[7]
    • Better career advancement[8]
    • Less self-centered [4]
    • Empathy!
    

    View Slide

27. Scenarios
    

    View Slide

28. @emotionalAPI
    Degraded Cognition
    

    View Slide

29. @emotionalAPI
    Advocate for Ideas
    

    View Slide

30. @emotionalAPI
    Code Reviews
    

    View Slide

31. @emotionalAPI
    Distraction
    

    View Slide

32. @emotionalAPI
    Problematic Teammates
    

    View Slide

33. @emotionalAPI
    Impostor Syndrome
    

    View Slide

34. @emotionalAPI
    Interviewed, Hired, Fired
    

    View Slide

35. @emotionalAPI
    Manage & Mentor
    

    View Slide

36. http://frontside.io/
    Senior
    Software
    Developer
    

    View Slide

37. Toolkit
    

    View Slide

38. @emotionalAPI
    Level 1: Conceptual Tools
    Level 2: On Your Own
    Level 3: With Someone Else
    Level 4: With a Group
    

    View Slide

39. @emotionalAPI
    Level 1
    Conceptual Tools
    

    View Slide

40. @emotionalAPI
    You Control The Implementation
    

    View Slide

41. @emotionalAPI
    You can control where and
    when you express your feelings
    (But you don’t have to)
    

    View Slide

42. @emotionalAPI
    get('/feels/anger').perform_later
    

    View Slide

43. @emotionalAPI
    They Don’t Mean Anything
    

    View Slide

44. @emotionalAPI
    Fear of Loss of Control
    

    View Slide

45. @emotionalAPI
    Feelings are Enumerable, not
    Boolean
    Anger
    Disgust
    Shame
    

    View Slide

46. @emotionalAPI
    There Is No Should
    

    View Slide

47. @emotionalAPI
    “Even if it feels bad, it’s ok to let it feel
    bad. Eventually you’ll stop feeling bad
    because feelings just don’t last very long”
    Amy Cuddy
    Presence[13]
    

    View Slide

48. @emotionalAPI
    Level 2
    On Your Own
    

    View Slide

49. @emotionalAPI
    Move Your Body
    

    View Slide

50. @emotionalAPI
    Move Your Body
    Dancing • Singing • Exercise
    

    View Slide

51. @emotionalAPI
    Rubber
    Duck
    Debugging
    

    View Slide

52. @emotionalAPI
    “…consciously recognizing
    the emotions reduced their
    impact.”
    David Rock
    Your Brain At Work[10]
    

    View Slide

53. @emotionalAPI
    Yup, talking
    

    View Slide

54. @emotionalAPI
    The Feel Wheel[12]
    

    View Slide

55. @emotionalAPI
    “I feel” vs. “I am”
    

    View Slide

56. @emotionalAPI
    Emotional
    Retro
    

    View Slide

57. @emotionalAPI
    Level 3
    With Another Person
    

    View Slide

58. @emotionalAPI
    Again, Talking
    

    View Slide

59. @emotionalAPI
    Feel first
    

    View Slide

60. @emotionalAPI
    Bring In A Consultant
    

    View Slide

61. @emotionalAPI
    Level 4
    With A Group
    

    View Slide

62. @emotionalAPI
    How did I get here?
    “…an intensive 20-hr Weekend Retreat in which you will
    explore your erroneous belief systems, learn to
    appropriately express emotions in a manner that heals…”
    Purpose • Passion • Peace
    http://aliceamos.me/p3retreat/
    

    View Slide

63. GET /feels/
    

    View Slide

64. @emotionalAPI
    As a child I
    wasn’t allowed
    to get angry
    

    View Slide

65. @emotionalAPI
    Do
    •
    •
    •
    •
    

    View Slide

66. @emotionalAPI
    Safe Space
    

    View Slide

67. @emotionalAPI
    Throw A Fit
    

    View Slide

68. @emotionalAPI
    Throw A Fit
    

    View Slide

69. GET /feels/
    

    View Slide

70. @emotionalAPI
    delete /v5/parents/marriage

    

    post /v6/parents/:dad_id/set_emotional_distance/1000

    

    post /v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer

    

    delete /v17/parents/:dad_id
    

    View Slide

71. @emotionalAPI
    /v5
    delete /v5/parents/marriage do

    20.times.do {

    Thread.new(get('/feels/fear'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/blame'))

    }

    delete('/feels/self_worth')

    end
    

    View Slide

72. @emotionalAPI
    /v8
    post /v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer do

    20.times.do {

    Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/fear'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))

    }

    end
    

    View Slide

73. @emotionalAPI
    /v17
    def /v17/parents/:dad_id do

    1000.times.do {

    Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))

    Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))

    }

    end
    

    View Slide

74. @emotionalAPI
    Stack Trace
    NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass:
    /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize'
    /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’
    /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’
    /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
    

    View Slide

75. @emotionalAPI
    Stack Trace
    NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass:
    /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize'
    /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’
    /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’
    /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
    

    View Slide

76. “Crying doesn’t indicate you are
    weak, since birth it has always
    been a sign to indicate you are
    alive”
    — attributed to Charlotte Brontë
    

    View Slide

77. @emotionalAPI
    /v17
    def /v17/parents/:dad_id do

    1000.times.do {

    Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))

    Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))

    }

    end
    

    View Slide

78. @emotionalAPI
    Diff
    def /v17/parents/:dad_id do

    1000.times.do {
    500.times.do {

    Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))

    Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))

    }

    end
    

    View Slide

79. @emotionalAPI
    Diff
    get /me/events/releases/prod/bugs/count_high do

    Thread.new(get('/feels/unloved'))

    Thread.new(get('/feels/panic'))

    puts 'oops'

    fix_it

    move_on

    end
    

    View Slide

80. @emotionalAPI
    Baggage
    

    View Slide

81. @emotionalAPI
    The Ultimate Goal
    

    View Slide

82. Soft Skills
    Super Hard Skills
    

    View Slide

83. @emotionalAPI
    Best Practices
    

    View Slide

84. @emotionalAPI
    Pick One Thing
    

    View Slide

85. @emotionalAPI
    Compassion
    

    View Slide

86. DEEP BREATH
    

    View Slide

87. @emotionalAPI
    Thank You So Much
    Slides: https://speakerdeck.com/johnksawers/hacking-your-emotional-api-v2-dot-5
    Videos: http://emotionalapi.com
    Twitter: @emotionalAPI
    Come get a feel wheel!
    

    View Slide

88. @emotionalAPI
    References
    [1],[2] “…a lack of power impairs our cognitive function.’ Amy Cuddy, Presence 119
    [3] “In fact, people who have a high sense of personal control…cope significantly better in crisis…because their executive
    functions are intact” Amy Cuddy, Presence, 136
    [4] “Powerlessness makes us self-absorbed” Amy Cuddy, Presence 121
    [5] “Helping children improve their self-awareness and confidence, manage their disturbing emotional impulses and increase
    their empathy pays off not just in improved behavior but in measurable academic achievement.” — Daniel Goleman,
    Emotional Intelligence xi
    [6] “The [people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting
    patterns and relationships” Smith, P.K., Dijkterhuis, A, & Wigbuldus, D.H. Psychology Science, 19, 1258-1259
    [7] “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.” Amy Cuddy, Presence 127
    [8] “…having high leadership potential were far stronger in EI competencies…” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xiii
    [9] “Those who can mange their emotional lives with more calm and self-awareness … have … distinct and measurable
    health advantage … confirmed by many studies” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xi
    [10] “…when they were asked to name the emotion, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex activated and reduced the emotional
    amygdala reactivity. In other words, consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.” David Rock, Your Brain At
    Work 127
    [11] Gross found that people who tried to suppress a negative emotional experience failed to do so. While they thought they
    looked fine outwardly, inwardly their limbic system was just as aroused as without suppression. Trying not to feel something
    doesn’t work, and in some cases even backfires. David Rock, Your Brain At Work 119
    [12] The Feeling Wheel http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/036215378201200411
    

    View Slide