Hacking Your Emotional API

Being a good developer isn't just about slinging code; we're part of a community. Interacting with others in a community means feelings are involved.

But feelings are messy and uncomfortable, so why can't you just ignore them? Because emotional skills are critical for working well on a team, and for writing code every day.

In this talk you’ll learn how emotions are affecting you by modeling them as an API and looking at the code.

Transcript

1. Welcome
2. Welcome
3. Your Emotional API How to be a better developer by being a better human v2.5
4. @emotionalAPI John Sawers Founder and CTO of Data Simply Senior Developer at Privia Health @emotionalapi @johnksawers http://emotionalapi.com he/his/him
5. “Emotions just make so much sense to me” — No One Ever
6. @emotionalAPI • Cry • Make a Scene • Whine • Yell Don’t
7. @emotionalAPI Do • • • •
8. @emotionalAPI We’re on our own
9. Endpoints @emotionalAPI
10. Middleware @emotionalAPI delete /job/12 put /events/mother/visit put /baby/new post /people/co-worker/insult get /people/boss/compliment /feels/sadness
 /feels/anger
 /feels/fear
 /feels/anger
 /feels/pride Senses Wetware Inputs
11. Middleware @emotionalAPI delete /job/12 put /events/mother/visit put /baby/new post /people/co-worker/insult get /people/boss/compliment /feels/love
 /feels/anger
 /feels/fear
 /feels/shame
 /feels/pride Senses Wetware Inputs
12. Methods delete '/job/:id'
 100.times do
 Thread.new(post('/feels/fear')
 end
 20.times do
 Thread.new(post('/feels/sadness')
 end
 end @emotionalAPI
13. @emotionalAPI A Public API The Bad News
14. Decomposability @emotionalAPI
15. “But feelings are icky, and I don’t wanna” — You, probably
16. “Trying not to feel something doesn’t work, and in some cases even backfires” David Rock Your Brain At Work[11]
17. @emotionalAPI Coding Solo
18. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems
19. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1]
20. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1] • Poorer Short Term Memory [2]
21. @emotionalAPI Cognitive Problems • Poorer Executive Function [1] • Poorer Short Term Memory [2] • Lower ability to handle stress and cope with crisis [3]
22. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Health Benefits • “…not just in improved behavior but in measurable academic achievement.”[5] • “…measurable health advantage”[9]
23. @emotionalAPI Coding Together
24. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Social Benefits • “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7]
25. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Social Benefits • “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7] • Better career advancement[8]
26. @emotionalAPI Cognitive & Social Benefits • “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.”[7] • Better career advancement[8] • Less self-centered [4] • Empathy!
27. Scenarios
28. @emotionalAPI Degraded Cognition
29. @emotionalAPI Advocate for Ideas
30. @emotionalAPI Code Reviews
31. @emotionalAPI Distraction
32. @emotionalAPI Problematic Teammates
33. @emotionalAPI Impostor Syndrome
34. @emotionalAPI Interviewed, Hired, Fired
35. @emotionalAPI Manage & Mentor
36. http://frontside.io/ Senior Software Developer
37. Toolkit
38. @emotionalAPI Level 1: Conceptual Tools Level 2: On Your Own Level 3: With Someone Else Level 4: With a Group
39. @emotionalAPI Level 1 Conceptual Tools
40. @emotionalAPI You Control The Implementation
41. @emotionalAPI You can control where and when you express your feelings (But you don’t have to)
42. @emotionalAPI get('/feels/anger').perform_later
43. @emotionalAPI They Don’t Mean Anything
44. @emotionalAPI Fear of Loss of Control
45. @emotionalAPI Feelings are Enumerable, not Boolean Anger Disgust Shame
46. @emotionalAPI There Is No Should
47. @emotionalAPI “Even if it feels bad, it’s ok to let it feel bad. Eventually you’ll stop feeling bad because feelings just don’t last very long” Amy Cuddy Presence[13]
48. @emotionalAPI Level 2 On Your Own
49. @emotionalAPI Move Your Body
50. @emotionalAPI Move Your Body Dancing • Singing • Exercise
51. @emotionalAPI Rubber Duck Debugging
52. @emotionalAPI “…consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.” David Rock Your Brain At Work[10]
53. @emotionalAPI Yup, talking
54. @emotionalAPI The Feel Wheel[12]
55. @emotionalAPI “I feel” vs. “I am”
56. @emotionalAPI Emotional Retro
57. @emotionalAPI Level 3 With Another Person
58. @emotionalAPI Again, Talking
59. @emotionalAPI Feel first
60. @emotionalAPI Bring In A Consultant
61. @emotionalAPI Level 4 With A Group
62. @emotionalAPI How did I get here? “…an intensive 20-hr Weekend Retreat in which you will explore your erroneous belief systems, learn to appropriately express emotions in a manner that heals…” Purpose • Passion • Peace http://aliceamos.me/p3retreat/
63. GET /feels/
64. @emotionalAPI As a child I wasn’t allowed to get angry
65. @emotionalAPI Do • • • •
66. @emotionalAPI Safe Space
67. @emotionalAPI Throw A Fit
68. @emotionalAPI Throw A Fit
69. GET /feels/
70. @emotionalAPI delete /v5/parents/marriage
 
 post /v6/parents/:dad_id/set_emotional_distance/1000
 
 post /v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer
 
 delete /v17/parents/:dad_id
71. @emotionalAPI /v5 delete /v5/parents/marriage do
 20.times.do {
 Thread.new(get('/feels/fear'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/blame'))
 }
 delete('/feels/self_worth')
 end
72. @emotionalAPI /v8 post /v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer do
 20.times.do {
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/fear'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
73. @emotionalAPI /v17 def /v17/parents/:dad_id do
 1000.times.do {
 Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
74. @emotionalAPI Stack Trace NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass: /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize' /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’ /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’ /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
75. @emotionalAPI Stack Trace NoMethodError - undefined method `paternal_approval’ for BossClass: /me/feels/panic.rb:9:in `initialize' /me/feels/love/daddy:14:in `none_for_you’ /me/feels/fear/mistake/guaranteed_to_be_fired:21:in `realize_mistake’ /me/events/releases/prod/bug_count/metrics.rb:39:in `count_bugs’
76. “Crying doesn’t indicate you are weak, since birth it has always been a sign to indicate you are alive” — attributed to Charlotte Brontë
77. @emotionalAPI /v17 def /v17/parents/:dad_id do
 1000.times.do {
 Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
78. @emotionalAPI Diff def /v17/parents/:dad_id do
 1000.times.do { 500.times.do {
 Thread.new(post('/v8/parents/:dad_id/diseases/cancer'))
 Thread.new(delete('/v5/parents/marriage'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/anger'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/sadness'))
 }
 end
79. @emotionalAPI Diff get /me/events/releases/prod/bugs/count_high do
 Thread.new(get('/feels/unloved'))
 Thread.new(get('/feels/panic'))
 puts 'oops'
 fix_it
 move_on
 end
80. @emotionalAPI Baggage
81. @emotionalAPI The Ultimate Goal
82. Soft Skills Super Hard Skills
83. @emotionalAPI Best Practices
84. @emotionalAPI Pick One Thing
85. @emotionalAPI Compassion
86. DEEP BREATH
87. @emotionalAPI Thank You So Much Slides: https://speakerdeck.com/johnksawers/hacking-your-emotional-api-v2-dot-5 Videos: http://emotionalapi.com Twitter: @emotionalAPI Come get a feel wheel!
88. @emotionalAPI References [1],[2] “…a lack of power impairs our cognitive function.’ Amy Cuddy, Presence 119 [3] “In fact, people who have a high sense of personal control…cope significantly better in crisis…because their executive functions are intact” Amy Cuddy, Presence, 136 [4] “Powerlessness makes us self-absorbed” Amy Cuddy, Presence 121 [5] “Helping children improve their self-awareness and confidence, manage their disturbing emotional impulses and increase their empathy pays off not just in improved behavior but in measurable academic achievement.” — Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xi [6] “The [people who feel] powerful process information more abstractly, integrating information to extract the gist, detecting patterns and relationships” Smith, P.K., Dijkterhuis, A, & Wigbuldus, D.H. Psychology Science, 19, 1258-1259 [7] “Subjects made to feel powerful judged emotional expression more accurately.” Amy Cuddy, Presence 127 [8] “…having high leadership potential were far stronger in EI competencies…” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xiii [9] “Those who can mange their emotional lives with more calm and self-awareness … have … distinct and measurable health advantage … confirmed by many studies” Daniel Goleman, Emotional Intelligence xi [10] “…when they were asked to name the emotion, the ventrolateral prefrontal cortex activated and reduced the emotional amygdala reactivity. In other words, consciously recognizing the emotions reduced their impact.” David Rock, Your Brain At Work 127 [11] Gross found that people who tried to suppress a negative emotional experience failed to do so. While they thought they looked fine outwardly, inwardly their limbic system was just as aroused as without suppression. Trying not to feel something doesn’t work, and in some cases even backfires. David Rock, Your Brain At Work 119 [12] The Feeling Wheel http://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/036215378201200411