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Feedback Without Fear

Feedback Without Fear

- Slide 1:
Consider how you learn, and what you're doing to overcome the barrier between you and your better self.

- Slide 2:
Feedback occurs all day, every day, small and large. If you're not aware of it, you can't influence or learn from it.

- Slide 4:
Walk away saying "damn, I need this"

- Slide 5:
This is what the fight looks like.

- Slide 6:
...and this

- Slide 7:
When I thought about overcoming fears like these, some themes emerged.

- Slide 8:
Everyone has their own story
Don't assume intention
Being right doesn't get you very far. In fact, it's a dead end.
Shift from defensive to curious to become a better receiver.
It's up to you to transform the relationships you have with others.

- Slide 9:
Gengis Khan - appropriation, Mongols were ruthless about stealing and absorbing the best from every culture they encountered.
Remember that everyone has their own story?
"...we stay in a comfort zone that ensures we never feel stupid, it obscures our weaknesses and takes a silent toll" - Ego is the enemy

- Slide 10:
"We think that praise is even more important than criticism, so we want to help people learn to give it the right way." - Radical Candor
"Be Specific and Share Why It Matters" - Radical Candor
Story: when reviewing work "awesome stuff, LGTM" versus "This was a smart decision. You saved us pain here."
empty calories == insincere praise

- Slide 11:
"The receiver is the key player here" - Thanks for the Feedback
Receiving Feedback starter kit (keep from slipping into insincere recognition):
Don't assume intention.
You can't listen while talking (shut up).
Practice reflecting what you heard back to the giver to ensure understanding
Giving feedback starter kit:
Practice acknowledgement (thanks for your time)
Practice being more specific (why it matters)
Practice doing it in real time
Situation: context or a specific situation in which a behavior manifested
Behavior: the behavior you are seeing that is not ideal (in this case) or the behavior you are seeing that is leading to success (in the case of praise)
Impact: the articulation of the Impact of the behavior

- Slide 12:
'Working with someone who shuts out feedback, or makes giving it hard, is exhausting. Feedback goes unspoken, costs of simple problem-solving become prohibitive, and important thoughts have no outlet. Insulation leads to isolation.' - Thanks for the Feedback
'Look at feedback as something to be sought, rather than something to be endured.'

- Slide 13:
The real life of high-performance people is that we don't get to make all the decisions. If we're lucky, we're narrowing down which decisions get made. More often, we're setting the standards for culture. If we want a timeless empire, that should inform how open we are to how other people solve problems, and what they think of the way we do things'

- Slide 14:
Round up

- Slide 15:
Hopefully by now you have a taste for how complex and powerful feedback can be.

- Slide 16:
In your new world, your team feels more cohesive'observations, both small and large, are being exchanged several times a day'you have explored and understand the intentions of your reports, your peers, your managers, and maybe even your founders. You're practiced, and can share how you learn with others, and help them grow, too.

- Slide 17:
These are a few of the books that helped me understand myself better, and to become a better observer of others. Happy to talk about any of them!

Pete Karl II

August 16, 2017

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  1. Feedback Without Fear

    View Slide

  2. Everyone needs to be an expert
    at giving & receiving all kinds
    of feedback to people.
    practice the
    No one is exempt
    Anyone can do it

    observations it’s a human interaction

    View Slide

  3. Feedback is…
    • exhausting.
    • anxiety-inducing.
    • complicated.

    View Slide

  4. Feedback is…
    • exhausting.
    • anxiety-inducing.
    • complicated.
    • necessary.

    View Slide

  5. Giving to someone self-assured.
    Giving to someone who will be crushed.
    Giving it to someone who makes it exhausting.
    Giving it isn’t your place.
    Giving it will flag you as “needy”
    Giving PTSD (historically confrontational)
    Giving to someone who taught you everything
    Giving bad/wrong feedback
    Giving unwanted feedback

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  6. Receiving patronizing feedback
    Receiving very intense/hurtful feedback
    Receiving surprising (negative) feedback
    Receiving endless feedback
    Receiving feedback from unwanted source
    Receiving feedback at a bad time
    Receiving poorly-delivered feedback
    Receiving unfair feedback
    Receiving no feedback

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  7. View Slide

  8. Conversations are difficult

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  9. Ruthlessly appropriate

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  10. Praise with purpose

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  11. Reps & sets

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  12. Ammunition & oxygen

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  13. It’s our job.

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  14. Ruthlessly appropriate
    Conversations are difficult
    Praise with purpose
    Reps & sets
    Ammunition & oxygen
    It’s your job.

    View Slide

  15. Everyone needs to be an expert
    at giving & receiving all kinds
    of feedback to people.
    practice the
    No one is exempt
    Anyone can do it

    observations it’s a human interaction

    View Slide

  16. View Slide

  17. View Slide