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Confronting difficult conversations

October 24, 2023

Confronting difficult conversations

How comfortable are you with workplace situations that lead to conflict? Needing to confront someone puts us in a fight, flight, or freeze response, which is a physical stress condition. Wouldn't it be nice to feel more at ease when in these situations? Or at least have a plan for the conversation?

In this session, you will learn a framework to approach a confrontation, while Elle and Lachlan will role-play a scenario from an engineering team.


October 24, 2023

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  1. Confronting Di cult Conversations Elle Meredith & Lachlan Hardy Web

    Directions Code Leaders | 2023 blackmill.co
  2. Should we have this confrontation at all? • A promise

    has clearly been broken • Trying to accept the behaviour but bothered by it • Choosing to by quiet over the risk of speaking up • Nagging conscience
  3. What expectations are not being met? • Confrontation can be

    valuable when expectations are unmet • A gap between expectation and reality
  4. Motivation • Link to values • Encourage long term thinking

    • Highlight others • Hold up a mirror
  5. Ability • Create a safe space • Ask permission •

    Solve it jointly • Be an enabler • Ask ve why’s • Consider long-term solutions
  6. • Choose the right place and time • Establish mutual

    respect • Establish mutual purpose • Describe the gap • ASK • A question or a request How should we initiate the conversation?
  7. Establishing a new normal • Clarify what needs to be

    done very clearly • Make a plan • Decide on follow up • Follow up!