7-1 Find Patterns

Transcript

1. Module 7: finding patterns Wed, 4/27 9:50AM 5:01 SUMMARY KEYWORDS patterns, meltdown, unpredictable, bedtime, tired, day, predictably unpredictable, emotions, finding, calendar, gymnastic, optimists, tantrum, playdate, child psychologist, generally, family, running, snack, rhythms SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 Hey there, we are back for how to keep calendar for ADHD moms. We are on module seven finding patterns. So turn off any distractions tell people to go away. Let's jump in. Patricia Sung 00:16 Alright, motherhood is the most unpredictable yet repetitive job there is. It is amazing how, like day in and day out wearing the same things were changing the same diapers all day long, solving the same problems finding the same shoes. And yet it is also incredibly unpredictable. You never know what you get with your tiny humans in tow. So there are things that we can do to prepare for those predictably unpredictable times. Patricia Sung 00:47 What does that mean predictably unpredictable. When you look at how your family functions, there will be patterns that you see when you take a step back. And they want you to look at their bird's eye view. When you kind of zoom out, and you stand up here, which we don't usually do, like kind of like look back, we can kind of see how our family runs. And the patterns that emerge. Patricia Sung 01:12 One of the things we were talking about in the group this morning was, for example, toddler meltdowns, when my son was two, we were having a bunch of meltdowns, not tantrums, meltdowns, and meltdowns, is where your kid just like loses it. And it's not that they're not
2. getting what they want, like a tantrum is I'm angry, and I'm not, you're not doing what I want you to do. And I'm mad. A meltdown is like, I cannot handle the level of emotion I am in right now. And it's coming out like a volcano. Patricia Sung 01:42 So we worked with a child psychologist, like in a coaching manner of like, what do we do about this? Like, clearly, we're missing something because it's happening over and over again. And she had us fill out a chart that said, like, here's the incident day time, what was going on before it, what was the the actual problem? What happened afterwards, and what we did about it in the moment. And it comes turns out that when we actually looked at all the patterns, where he was melting down was when he was tired. And when he was hungry, do things that are fairly preventable. Sort of, so I knew that if he missed snack, and we're like getting close to lunchtime, we're gonna have meltdown. So it is important that I make sure that snack time happens so that I don't have the lunchtime meltdown. Patricia Sung 02:36 Or like, you know, if we did an activity like he did swim class, and he's super tired, we're probably going to have a meltdown on the way home because he is that tired? So going in knowing like, how am I going to mitigate knowing he's going to be a hot mess leaving swim lesson? What can I do to make it easier to transition out? So I want you to have that same sort of mentality, when you look at your calendar is looking at those patterns. Patricia Sung 03:01 So it goes back up, and you have all the information you have the data there on your paper, right? You know, what you've done for the last couple of weeks, or what you have coming up? And you can look at like, where are the patterns? Where do I see things are going well, like? Are the mornings running well for our family? Or is after school a low? Finding those high low patterns, finding the hiccups of like, we really are having trouble getting to gymnastic lessons on time. What can we do differently because this is a problem for us every week, thinking about emotions where our emotions running high. Patricia Sung 03:37 A lot of times for me that's bedtime like my meds are wearing off. I am grumpy, I am tired. And I don't have as much patience. So like, emotions are running high at bedtime. I know going in at bedtime is going to be a struggle. And I have to change my mindset going in. Or else. You know, when mommy ain't happy, nobody happy. So looking at those patterns in your calendar, looking at those patterns in your family. I'm like we're not super dive deep in this in the rhythms class. But that doesn't mean you can start doing it. Patricia Sung 04:05 Now you can look and see where the patterns are and then start using them to your advantage.
3. Now you can look and see where the patterns are and then start using them to your advantage. You can see the times where everybody's grumpy and you need to keep things simple. You can see the time but hey, generally I have you know, Wednesday morning is a pretty open time. For me. That's a really great time for me to schedule appointments. That's a great time for me to have an impromptu playdate, because I know that generally speaking Wednesdays are open, and that I have more like wiggle room in those days. Whereas Thursday that is really not going to do at that time. Patricia Sung 04:34 You also can start looking at patterns for like Where can you leave space for finishing? We are eternal optimists and think we can do way more. So where in your day can you leave a little cushion and have space to finish up things that didn't get done in the day instead of what we tend to do is cram everything in to the last minute. Patricia Sung 04:51 So here's our task for today is just journal for a couple minutes and aware. Do you see these kinds of patterns? You're doing great and I'll talk to you soon.