TMM_Module_3-4

Transcript

1. 3-4 ADHD Obstacles - 7 min - TMM Module 3 Mon, 3/21 9:01PM 6:55 SUMMARY KEYWORDS rhythm, backup plan, knowing, adhd, talk, rabbit hole, pop, whack, laundry, estimation, obstacles, derailed, place, skills, day, sudden, plan, started, dinner, deal SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 Hey there successful mama. Welcome back to module three. And we're continuing to talk about our obstacles that we will encounter that are going to throw us off on the rhythm of our day. Now, this is all about our ADHD obstacles. Now I could probably talk on this topic for 10 hours straight and not even gotten halfway through what I wanted to say, are ADHD affects us every way in every moment in everything that we do. So it is going to be there, no matter what, in all things. Patricia Sung 00:37 That being said, let's hit a few highlights. And we will get you know more and more into this as we go or in talking about this through the whole rest of the class. So we will try to hit as many as we can, but know that this is a lengthy list, and we're not going to hit them all in this very short video. Patricia Sung 00:54 So things that I see very common across the board, is that with our ADHD obstacles, versus our low energy days, we have a different energy regulation than other humans. And so when we are having a good day, it's like a great day. And when we're having a hard day, it's it's a low day. So being able to prepare for those days that are low energy, knowing, you know, hey, I need to give myself some grace today, because of fill in the blank thing, whether that is where you are in your cycle, or you know, a stressful thing going on with your family, knowing that it's okay, on those days to take a break. Patricia Sung 01:38 And that you can be super productive on the days where you're having good days, and that that you know, dealt even out at some point. But knowing what are the things that have to get
2. done today, like what are my non negotiables? What are the things that like are just are not a choice, these have to get done today. And one of the things that it's okay that I push off. Patricia Sung 02:00 And the good part about having rhythms into your day is that when things are running smoothly, if you skip a day here or a day there, it doesn't make a big difference, like at this point, like my laundry runs smoothly enough. Like if I were to skip three or four days of laundry in a row, it's fine. It doesn't matter. If I didn't even like think about that rhythm at all totally fine, because I'm keeping up with it overall. So it's not going to build up into MT laundry is that fast. Patricia Sung 02:33 That means that as you make your improvements, as you're going through, you will get to the point where things are smooth enough that when you have those days where somebody is vomiting everywhere, and you don't get all the things done that you normally get done. It's not like the apocalypse in your house. It's manageable. Like is it fun? No, it is not fun. Is there still a lot to do later? Yes. But it's not disaster level, because you have a system in place, losing track of time, where we just get into something, and we haven't realized how much time has passed. And there are ways that we can plan ahead for that knowing, you know, we're gonna get into like creating habits of like, not going down that rabbit hole when like how do we avoid that? How can we get ourselves out of like, the the hyperfocus when we don't need to be there. We'll talk about those ways to build those skills of you know, exiting when things are disastrous or, and having our many time returning to go. Patricia Sung 03:42 Things like poor estimation skills, where we think like, this only took me like 20 minutes. So just knock this out. And all of a sudden, it's a three hour project. How can we see those patterns and know like, what are the things where we're incredibly off on our estimation? And when are the times where we start to learn? How can I learn to tell myself No, when I want to go down a project, that is not an appropriate thing for when I need to leave to pick up my kid in just a few minutes like, we will start to learn like where are those times like not to say that we are going to be experts at it because there are still times where I'm like, Whoa, okay, I shouldn't have started this. But those are far more few than they used to be. And I don't expect myself to not have ADHD, but I have the skills in place so that I can prepare for those much better going down the rabbit hole of like, hey, my kids are trying was really cool thing and all of a sudden 45 minutes later, you know we're still over here discussing, you know, this ancient sea creature when I should have already been cooking dinner. Patricia Sung 04:58 Sometimes those are Great and we want to indulge our kids into whatever amazing thing that they are learning about. But also knowing like, when, how are we going to adjust for those because not to say that we won't ever do them but like, what's our backup plan if we all of a
3. sudden haven't started dinner and it's you know already time for eating will have some backup plans in place so that when we end up in that situation, what are we going to do about it? Patricia Sung 05:28 And another example is the whack a mole prioritizing where whatever pops up is what we deal with. And it's not necessarily the most important thing or the most urgent thing, but it was the first thing that showed up and that's what we dealt with. So when we have a plan for our day, we know okay, I already know like, what this morning section is going to look like so I'm not going to get as easily derailed by this thing that popped up. And I know okay, this topic is a you know, really belongs with this group of things. So I'm just gonna be like okay, this is non fire I don't need to have this right now. I know I can put this over here in this section and I can set it down and it's not eating at me because I worry about like forgetting it. Like I have a plan for those things that just pop up like the whack a mole instead of me constantly whacking them. Patricia Sung 06:22 I'll be like, Oh, you Okay, thank you. You go over here. Oh, you go over here. Oh, you Yes, I need to deal with you now. And we have a plan for all those things that pop up. So there's a lot of these, like I said, I could go on for hours. But as we get a handle on how our routine goes for the their rhythm and routine goes for the day, it will get a lot easier to deal with these obstacles. Patricia Sung 06:48 And I'm going to pause here and we'll get more into these as we go.