TMM_Module_4-5

Transcript

1. 4-5 How to Decide Your Chain Length - TMM Module 4 Mon, 3/21 9:16PM 5:14 SUMMARY KEYWORDS chain link, breakfast, wiggle room, chain, brain, amount, talking, frozen waffles, task, dishes, minutes, remind, deciding, protect, working, eat, account, kids, rabbit hole, clean SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 Hey there successsul mama, welcome back to module four. And we are talking about the amount of chain length that is going to go with our anchors. Patricia Sung 00:08 Now, I really debated on whether I should call it a chain because that sounds like constricting and like dragging down. But it reminds me that the chain is here to protect us remember, when the boat drops anchor, that chain keeps it from going too far right, it keeps it in a safe zone. And that's what this chain length are this amount of wiggle room that we have to get an activity done is for our protection, it keeps us from getting too far off course, because when we lose track of time, we end up usually with some kind of getting kicked in the rear situation. And depending on your life, and what time of day it is, sometimes you have a lot of wiggle room to work with. And then other times you don't. Patricia Sung 00:48 So sometimes you'll have like a really serious consequence for being late to something. And sometimes, it doesn't matter that we pushed nap back a little bit today. But they do exist to protect us. They are there to keep us safe. And it is something that you are choosing you are deciding how much time this is no one else is choosing for you. You were the one saying I am deciding to create this chain link or this wiggle room of this amount because I know that that's what I need to be safe to be protected. Patricia Sung 01:21 So when you start to feel a little like, you can't tell me what to do. Remind yourself that you made these choices, that was something that you wanted to do. It was your choice. And you
2. made these choices, that was something that you wanted to do. It was your choice. And you when you were in a calm state of mind, you knew that this was the best answer for you. And this is what you wanted, and reminding ourselves that like competition decided this and checked it and made sure that this was the right answer. And that competition wanted to what is best for me in this moment. And it makes it easier like not at first versus so like, tell me what to do. But with time you will begin to trust yourself and see that you are doing what is best for you. Patricia Sung 02:06 Okay, I went on a rant about trusting ourselves. I'm not gonna go down that rabbit hole right now. stay on task. Okay? So, okay, come on computer. Hold on once. See what, okay, got my computer pot up here. Alright, so an example here of the amount of chain link or wiggle room that we're going to get. Okay, so we're my six year olds breakfast when we're going for elementary school. In my head, in my ADHD brain, I say we're eating breakfast at 6:30. And then my brain thinks that at 6:31, I can go do something else. Because my brain said breakfast was at 6:30, my brain does not consider the amount of time it took to prep breakfast, the amount of time it takes to eat breakfast, the amount of time it takes to put the stuff away, my brain does not calculate any of that for me, I have to make a concerted effort to account for those things because my brain does not do it on its own. Patricia Sung 03:00 So if I think about a task, every task is going to have something that you need to do to prep for it. The actual doing of a task and then the the reset of it, which is like, you know meals is like cleaning the dishes or washing the dishes. You know, if you're doing a craft project with your kids putting everything away. We don't usually account for those things. Our brain does not do them. We don't really like doing them. And then that's why we have 17 craft projects on our kitchen table. Patricia Sung 03:25 Okay, so we're, we're working on not the tough one. What does this look like in real life? We need to eat breakfast at 630 it takes me about 20 minutes. He is not a fast eater. That's about that's it like a chill pace. You will also want to consider when you're thinking about these things, is your kids personalities. Are they somebody that you can be like hurry up and eat faster? And they will? Or are they somebody who's like they are going to take the same amount of time to eat breakfast no matter what level of panic you are in. I have to account for that with my kids. We're working with what we got right? Patricia Sung 04:07 So I give myself about 20 minutes or give him about 20 minutes to meet to eat his breakfast. And it only takes me about five minutes to clear the dishes even though in my head that's like 100 years that it takes to clean up. It doesn't actually and in order for me to make breakfast Now granted, I keep breakfast pretty simple in the mornings like I'm talking like frozen waffles
3. cereal yogurt, like I'm not making any gourmet spreads on school days. So you know 10 minutes is enough to get everything out in onto the table. That means that I need from 6:20 all the way to 6:55 is how long breakfast takes just for feeding my one child not including me. If you had asked me before I wrote all this down. Patricia Sung 04:50 How long is it gonna take for breakfast? I never would have told you 35 minutes. That sounds like forever. Okay. Our brains just don't do that for us. Knowing but here we are now what are my chain links here? Patricia Sung 05:09 Okay I'm gonna pause there and then let's talk about chain link in the next video