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Intro-4: FAQs - I still don't have enough time! [7 mins]

Intro-4: FAQs - I still don't have enough time! [7 mins]

More Decks by Patricia Sung | Motherhood in ADHD

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  1. FAQ: I still dont have enough time Wed, 4/27 9:21AM

    7:21 SUMMARY KEYWORDS ball, important, extracurricular activity, glass, plastic, matters, sanity, family, juggling, care, frequently asked questions, tend, video, practice, easier, volunteer, brain, valuable, shiny, hopper SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:03 Hey there, Mama. Welcome back module eight on frequently asked questions. This video is carrying the question, I still don't have enough time, what do I cut? Am I trying to do too much? Am I not being efficient? Like, what's the problem here? Patricia Sung 00:18 My answer is probably both. As you sort out your day and your calendar and your routines and all and you build in the habits and make everything run more efficiently, yes, you will have more time because you're doing those things in a more like in a more efficient way, it's going to be faster, and that will get easier. But also, like, Mom plates are really full. There's never a shortage of stuff for us to do for our families. And there's always another volunteer opportunity, there's always another extracurricular activity to do. Patricia Sung 00:58 And there will come a point where it's just too much, and you do need to cut things out. Every time we say yes to something, it means we're saying no to something else, and understanding what's important to us and what our values are. And what truly matters to me and to our family as a whole allows us to understand better what we should be saying yes and no to because we're guiding it by our value system. For some people, maybe taking on an extra, extra extracurricular activity is really important for them, because that's where their values lie. Patricia Sung 01:39 But if that's not where your values lie, and then using that time for something else might be so much more valuable, and you'd get so much more out of it. So that depends on you. And as you get to know yourself. And as you get to know your ADHD and you start to see like the pieces
  2. fall into place, you'll be able to better gauge what

    are the things that are more important to you. So that does get easier. But it is, it is true. Patricia Sung 02:06 Whenever we say yes to one thing, we're saying no to something else. I I absolutely love this analogy from Nora Roberts. And you can you can Google that that article. You know, we're juggling all these things, and they all the balls in the air. And a lot of times we think there's like one wall for kids and one ball for work and one ball for family and one ball for friends and one ball for our own well being. And we're we're just trying to keep them all up in the air all the time. But it's not just one ball per person, it's or one ball per responsibility. Patricia Sung 02:39 Within each category. There's multiple walls. So you know, being at your son's soccer practices of all, being at the next game is a ball, doing the laundry is a ball. And you're you're juggling all these things. And she said the key is to know which of those balls are plastic and which are glass, because when you drop the glass ones They shatter. But when you drop the plastic ones, they bounce, and you can pick them up later. So understanding your value system, and what really matters to you. And what matters to your family will allow you to say maybe being at that practice doesn't matter, maybe I can let that go and figure out a carpool situation where I'm at every other practice. And a friend of mine is, you know, taking the kids at the other practice and that will free up a ball. But knowing you know, but that the championship game, that's of all that for some kids will be glass and for some kids will be plastic. And we have so much overload and so much sensory input that a lot of times it's hard for us to tell in the moment, which of them are plastic and which of them are glass. Patricia Sung 03:52 So we have to do that kind of stepping back and taking time and be like okay, what are the things that truly matter? To me, because we do tend to be people pleasers, we do tend to say yes, more than we should. And I want you to feel confident enough that as you start to get to know yourself that you will know, what are the things that are plastic in which your glass and where you can let things go? And what are the things that we need to hold on to. Patricia Sung 04:21 So to and so the answer to the question is both things will get a lot easier as you get more efficient with them and you have a system. But obviously things still take a certain amount of time, and they're going to take us longer than other people even when we're super efficient with them. We still tend to move at a slower pace and we need more time to get things done. And that may mean that your plate needs to be a little emptier than other moms and that's okay. It's okay for you to say we can only do one extracurricular activity at a time or you know, I can't do this extra volunteer approach exit school, I can do one per school year. That's the limit for my sanity, and that's okay.
  3. Patricia Sung 05:08 And know that your mental well being

    and your health and you're taking care of yourself is a glass ball that we often wait until it is this far from the ground before tossing it back up again. But when it hits the ground, and you are the shattered glass ball, then you are taking care of no one. So I want you to prioritize yourself and know that you are worthy of that, that you deserve, that you you deserve to be taken care of as well. And when you say you know I'm doing these things for my family, you are part of the family. And so if you are not being taken care of you are not taking care of your family. Patricia Sung 05:56 So you are worthy of that space. And that time and that money that goes into you didn't realize I was going to get emotional on this video. So yeah, you are important and you are valuable, and you are a glass ball. So please treat yourself accordingly. So find those ways that you're taking care of yourself, and asking for help and learning about who you are. And what's important to you. And being in this class is one of those things, knowing that your sanity and taking this time for you matters, it's important and in SAS is scary. Patricia Sung 06:35 So we will never have enough time to get all the things done. Because there are a million possibilities in this world. Our brains are wired for interest and we're always going to find this cool new shiny thing that's going to be awesome. And we're going to dive into it. And then we're going to realize we found another new shiny thing and that's okay. You are allowed to be a hobby Hopper or you know switching careers like that is that is okay. And that's how your brain works. But do take care of yourself in the process because you are important. So that is that video, and I'm going to stop before I get to jibbery. Okay. Talk to you soon.