TMM_Module_3-3

Transcript

1. 3-3 Kid & Life Obstacles - 6 min - TMM Module 3 Mon, 3/21 9:00PM 5:52 SUMMARY KEYWORDS adhd, struggles, kids, obstacles, pajamas, dealing, part, expect, plan, ponder, problem, talk, create, life, tantrum, allergy, brain, woes, emergencies, health issues SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 All right, so welcome to module three, let's talk about some of the specific kinds of obstacles that we're going to see. Patricia Sung 00:07 One of the great things about our ADHD brains is that generally speaking, we're pretty good at problem solving, when we have the time to think about it, when it gets too overwhelming, a lot of times will shut down. But when we have the space to ponder it, especially like, if it's somebody else's problem, and we're not feeling the emotional, or energy regulation part of it, then we're pretty good problem solvers. Patricia Sung 00:29 So let's talk about first, obviously, our kids are going to create obstacles in our day. Now. Again, mindset changes that, like it's, it's our job to take care of them. So them creating obstacles isn't to create actual problems for us. But they are things that we want to tackle and come up with ideas ahead of time. So ways that we might get derailed from our plan by our kids are things like if they're having a tantrum or a meltdown, and understand the difference between those two was very important, but I'm not going to get on that tangent today. Patricia Sung 01:03 And another place that we haven't obstacles, when we expect our kids to be robots, we expect them to do something the same way we expect it to be like take the same amount of time, we expect them to be predictable. And that that's never gonna happen, right. And also, our kids are not under our control, like we don't get a little remote to be like, and now you will put on your pajamas. Sometimes they put on pajamas in 30 seconds, sometimes it's 30 minutes of
2. trying to convince them to put on their pajamas. So understanding that, you know, things are going to go differently every time with kids, especially younger ones, or hormonal ones, there will be some changes in what happens each time. Patricia Sung 01:53 We also want to think about having if our kids have ADHD, or any kind of neurodiversity, I like to call it ADHD squared, because you're dealing with your ADHD plus their ADHD, or, you know, your struggle is plus their struggles. And it's not just like some struggles, plus some struggles equals two sets of struggles, it's like, exponentially more difficult. It's like all your struggles, times their struggles, and you end up with a much bigger number. So planning ahead for monitoring their ADHD needs. With your if he ADHD regulation is going to create something that's going to take us more time than we expected. Patricia Sung 02:36 Obviously, we have things like sicknesses and vomiting and emergencies and broken arms that will pop up when you have kids. And then you have things like childcare woes where you know, somebody has to work late or a babysitter calls in sick. All of these things are going to happen in our day. So what I'd like you to do is start thinking about where are the obstacles in your day where you that like in relation to your kids that are frustrating you things that you see happening quite often, and start pondering like, Where do I see those patterns? Where do they keep coming up? So when we were starting to get our brain turning on, where are the parts of our day that are going to be more frustrating for us so that we can start making those a little bit easier on ourselves. Patricia Sung 03:24 The second set of obstacles we're talking about is just life obstacles. So they gave the kind of dislike overarching term of like, anything extra that you're dealing with, that maybe somebody else is not. So this could be something like if you have health issues, or someone in your family has health issues, perhaps you're caring for extended family like grandparents, or you know, somebody who's sick in the family, keeping in mind that we need to account for our spouse, and if they have ADHD, again, for another ADHD squared, they're dealing with relationships and family. All of that is going to create obstacles in our day that will derail us from whatever plan we had set out. Patricia Sung 04:03 Things like dealing with just like the big things like dealing with grief or trauma and just general stressful things that you're going through in life are going to create ways in your day where things didn't quite go as planned, whether it's all sudden, like you're just having like a sad meltdown and needs some extra time that day. These are things that are going to happen in our lives that are going to affect your day.
3. Patricia Sung 04:28 If you're going through something that's extremely stressful right now. First of all big hugs. I think every one of us has been there going like every one of us has gone through hard things. So this allergy that you're not alone, and that this is also part of life and it's expected we're expected to struggle but also if you're struggling beyond the normal, where you're like this isn't okay, please ask for help. Please reach out. Before I get sad, just know that there is help out there for you. Don't struggle by yourself, okay? Patricia Sung 05:06 But knowing that these things are going to impact us and it's okay, like, if you just lost somebody important to you is okay that you are struggling and it's okay that you're not like on your routine today, that you're not on schedule, because that is not what your body needs right now. So knowing where you were, you know, it's okay to be giving yourself that grace and space to deal with this hard stuff. They were not expecting ourselves to be robots and perfect and just keep on tracking like life didn't happen. We want to account for those things and give ourselves space to be humans.