TMM_Module_1-1

Transcript

1. 1-1 What is my goal_ Module 1 Mon, 2/28 4:54PM 8:03 SUMMARY KEYWORDS routines, frame, rhythms, life, module, anchors, mom, structure, creating, medusa, art, goal, doo, support, place, family, low blood sugar, enjoy, dish, lunch SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 Hey there Successful Mama, welcome to Module One of Time Management Mastery for ADHD Moms. We are creating calm and confidence by building rhythms into our day. So before we jump in reminders that turn off any distractions that might pull you away. Find a little bit of a quiet place if it's possible, and reminder that you're doing great. We're going to figure it all out. Patricia Sung 00:23 In module one, our goal is to answer these two questions. One, what is your goal? And two, what is your motivation? Now, while most of our work will be pretty concrete, this is a little more what's the word I'm looking for? A little more about your heart and making sure that we're aligning with what's important to you, because this is all about you and your family. Patricia Sung 00:48 Because what is our goal here it is to frame the beautiful life that you have created. And you can see here is my family. This my husband and my two boys. And this is what my rhythm is going routines are all about is to spend more time focusing on them and enjoying my family and doing what's important to me and my mission and helping you all. And without my rhythms and routines and structure, I would never be able to do both the job of being a mom and helping other people. Because before I was barely functioning on my own, let alone be able to take care of my family as well. This is truly what saved me as among. Patricia Sung 01:31 Now I've talked about this in Episode 112, which you can go back and listen to more in depth. But I want to run through this analogy, just in case you haven't heard it, or didn't remind you because our brains forgot things very quickly. And the whole reason we're doing this is to frame
2. the beautiful life that we have these structures that we create are the frame to our beautiful life. Patricia Sung 01:50 Like if I were to try to hang up this picture with this like little like corner of a frame, it would never work, right? It's not sturdy enough. It's not it doesn't have enough support, it would never support this big of a picture for a tiny little with this tiny little like, what is this like a corner, those two lines wouldn't support this life. Patricia Sung 02:11 So the whole point in this section, or in this class is to create the rhythms and routines that fit your day and your life and your priorities. Because when we have valuable artwork, we hang it on the wall, right, we put it in a frame, it's protected. It has structure, it has a hook on the back so that everyone can see it. It's displayed where like we're all conceived, right? Patricia Sung 02:34 If it's art that we just like, you know, when it's at the 47th preschool worksheet, and it just gets stuck on the counter, and gets crumpled up. There's a bunch of stuff on it. So we'll do spill on it. And there's like, you know, papers piled up or dirty dishes on top, that artwork is no longer valuable. It's basically counter trash, right? Patricia Sung 02:55 We want to take this beautiful life we have we don't want to be counter trash, we want to put it up where everyone can enjoy it, including you because you matter. Now, every frame has, Oh, I lost my place here to this part about ADHD. I'm like camera notes staying on track with everything. Patricia Sung 03:18 So when you think about the structure of your day, it's the same as the frame where your structures and your rhythms and your routines are all supporting your life. They should be creating the like all the all the little things of motherhood that we have to deal with like the laundry and the meals and the washing the dish, all stuff that is a requirement of being a mom. Like we have to keep feeding people to keep them alive, right. So all of the stuff that we have to keep up with. Patricia Sung 03:54 We want to take that and make it a structured framework, so we know what to do so that it's not bleeding into the art. It's not bleeding into the fun time. Because when we are stressed and when we are overwhelmed, the first thing to go is enjoying our life.
3. when we are overwhelmed, the first thing to go is enjoying our life. Patricia Sung 04:10 We take for example bathtime is no longer like a fun time to connect with our kids. Instead, it's like, quit splashing your brother. Get out of the tub. I said wash your hair, put your pajamas on and all of a sudden, this time the connection is like you know, I call it Medusa mom comes out and she's yelling at everybody. And and the kids are grumpy. You're grumpy. Everybody's grumpy. And you go to bed and you sit down and you're like, What am I doing with my life? Why like, why is it always this hard? And we worry about all the responsibilities we didn't get done and how we were terrible moms and we get this whole shame spiral going right. Patricia Sung 04:50 And when we have the structure and the routines in place, we're lowering all the energy that goes into those mundane The things that shouldn't be the center of the show and getting them like, automated and on autopilot and everything so that we can enjoy that time. And we're not Medusa mom at that point because we're not dead tired, like not to say that that's never going to happen. But with time, it'll be better and better. And we'll have more good days and less of the I hate myself days. And we're striving towards continuous improvement, you know, in the long term, not to say that every day is any better than the last one because sometimes we go backwards before we go forwards. Patricia Sung 05:33 But overall, we're having more good days instead of bad days. And the last thing I want to mention, before I pause to make these videos super short for you, is that there's a few things that rhythms and routines are not for one thing, the frame is not the main draw your rhythms and routines should be the support in the backup in the background, like behind the scenes, like nobody's like a slot on mahogany frame, so fabulous. Like, that shouldn't be the point, right? The frame is there to support the art, the art should be the center of the show. So all of these rhythms and routines should be in the background supporting the good stuff. Patricia Sung 06:11 Secondly, our frame is not like a steel cage, it's not meant to feel suffocating or like, like overwhelming or stressful. We don't want to look at our art through the bars of a cage. All of these routines are meant to serve you they are meant to add to your life. It's not about doing things with military precision that we had to start at precisely 1130 For for our lunch prep, or else is all gonna go downhill. No, it's not. That's not the goal. We want them to be flexible, because they need to fit your day, they need to fit every season they need to fit. Patricia Sung 06:50 You know how every day is different, because kids are always different. And, you know, who knows, maybe they woke up later than they usually do. And now everything's kind of like
4. knows, maybe they woke up later than they usually do. And now everything's kind of like shifted right? We need them to be flexible but yet we know where our anchors are. So that we don't end up super off track. Our anchors, think about a boat it drops it anchor so that it keeps into one place. Patricia Sung 07:13 We are going to really get into this an anchor analogy and a future module about this is what he like keeps us in place so that we don't end up at like 3pm. And we realized nobody ate lunch. And that's why everybody's losing their minds because everyone's hungry and has low blood sugar, right? Patricia Sung 07:29 So that's what anchors our day is that whatever you set it as is to keep us on track. So even if the morning totally goes to doo doo. At lunchtime, we're gonna reset and keep going. And if that goes to doo doo, okay, dinnertime we will set or whatever your anchors are, they're going to be different for everyone. Patricia Sung 07:46 And the main thing there and what it's not is it's not a format for you. This is all about creating the life that makes sense for you. So let's pause there because I promised you short videos and we'll get back into part two in just a second.