TMM_Module_2-4

Transcript

1. 2-4 The Sailboat Analogy - TMM Module 2 Sun, 3/20 11:23PM 5:36 SUMMARY KEYWORDS waves, chain, anchor, day, feel, module, clear blue sky, clean underwear, boat, happen, adjust, washing, postpartum anxiety, lake, ifs, thought, stressful situation, soccer practice, face, learn SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 Hey there successful mama. Welcome back to module two. We're on video four. And we're talking about our setup for the day. Patricia Sung 00:07 So I want you to picture about, we're going on ride, we're on this lovely sailboat here on, I believe the lake, perhaps a sea ocean, I don't know. And I want you to imagine that the boat captain is his plotting his course. And when it's time to stop, they set their anchor. And that anchor allows them to stay in the place that they need to be for that time being, not get too far off course and let what happens need to happen in that place. And then they pull the anchor back up, and then they keep going. Patricia Sung 00:35 So our day is going to run like this, we're going to drop our anchor, when it's time for, say, lunchtime, we do all the things that need to happen at lunch, then we pull the anchor, and then we continue on our journey through the day. And we enjoy that next activity time that comes next. Patricia Sung 00:51 When it's time to say hit dinner, we drop our anchor, and we pull ourselves together. That's our reset point. And then we continue on with our day. When we drop our anchor, it keeps us steady, it pulls us back in and gives us a chance to reset. And depending on how long the chain is that allows us more or less space to wiggle because sometimes we have plenty of time to linger around the dinner table.
2. Patricia Sung 01:18 Other times we don't, we have a T ball game that we have to go to, or we have soccer practice or music lessons. And there's a hard cutoff. So there are days where we have room to have longer chains. And we can kind of float around in this area for a while. And there are days where that chain is short, and we have to be somewhere. Patricia Sung 01:34 So I want you to start thinking about in this process. And we're going to be looking at what are your anchors going to be what are your chain lengths going to be. And I know the chain like sounds like very like, well, constraining. But when you keep in mind that those chains are there to protect us so that we're not late to all the things that we're supposed to be doing later in the day. Patricia Sung 01:57 Now, the third part of this are the waves. And this is what we're really going to dive deep into in our next module is all the things that are going to toss us around during the day. No day is ever going to be perfect. We want it to be perfect. We have an ideal plan, it's gonna go great today. And things happen, right? We have kids, we have jobs, there's traffic, somebody vomits, like there's always something that goes on, that does not make for a smooth sailing. Ha. Patricia Sung 02:23 Now, the wave sometimes are just pushing us around a little bit. And then other days, we feel like this, where the waves are just too much, and it's really throwing us off our game. So we're going to start to learn, where are the things like when we have this kind of wave day? How are we going to adjust to when we have this kind of wave day, right? The days where this lake looks beautiful and calm. It's a clear blue sky and the days where the weave is taller than the boat and coming in rushing over our heads. And we feel like we're drowning. Patricia Sung 02:57 Having a routine is not going to take away the big waves, the big waves are still going to come. But they are going to allow us to weather those storms and allow us to adjust appropriately on the times that we need to look we are going to know what are the things that have to get done? And what are the things that I can let go. On days where we have waves like this that are over our heads. These are the times where we're going to modify what we do. Patricia Sung 03:28 I think one of the best things I learned in therapy when I was dealing with all my postpartum anxiety, and a lot of OCD tendencies is that I was so stressed and anxious over all the the what ifs that could happen. And I was having a really hard time adjusting and being more flexible,
3. which is an ADHD tendency is that we don't adapt. Well in times of stress. Like sometimes we're like, the girl you want in a stressful situation and other times oh no, we're you're like, we're at the bottom of the totem pole rejoices? Like please don't beg me, right? It just depends on the situation. Patricia Sung 04:15 But the best advice I got is that when she was talking to me about like, for example, when I'm leaving in the morning, I felt like I had to get through my routine just so in order to start my day off well. And you know, something like putting on clean underwear or brushing my teeth or you know, whatever the thing is in the morning that like you just can't live without whether that's putting on deodorant or washing your face, whatever the thing is that you feel like I just can't not do this or I don't feel ready for the day. We feel like we have to do that every time. Patricia Sung 04:53 But if your house is on fire, are you going to worry about washing your face or putting on clean underwear? No, you're just going to get out the door right? So there is a level of priority to where things how important things are, and to us because we, we struggle with prioritization, they all feel important. I have to do all the things. Patricia Sung 05:13 So there are days when it looks like crazy wave day, we need to adjust and in having the forethought, we've thought about our day, we know what are the things that I have to do and what are the things that I can let go or do later. We'll learn that as we go. Patricia Sung 05:32 Okay, I am going to pause there. till we get into our details.