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TMM_Module_4-3

 TMM_Module_4-3

More Decks by Patricia Sung | Motherhood in ADHD

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  1. 4-3 Choose your Anchors in your Daily Rhythm - TMM

    Module 4 ... Mon, 3/21 9:14PM 7:46 SUMMARY KEYWORDS anchor, bedtime, dividing, similar, preschool, sections, work, kids, dinner, hours, evening, dinnertime, extracurriculars, midday, day, reset, rolls, bedtime routines, preschool age, breakfast SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 Hey there, Mama. Welcome back to Module Four, we're talking about our anchors right now. Hope let me move ahead here. Patricia Sung 00:06 Okay. So when we talk about our anchors, those are the points in the day that we're specifically pointing out that we're going to have a reset, right here. We know what requirements need to happen at a time. And then in the future. Now, this lesson, we're going to build our habits around them. So as a reminder, how does that look? For example, you know, we wake up and get ready, we do some stuff, we have lunch, we do some stuff, we have dinner, we do some stuff, we have bed time. So it's a pattern of routine, live in our life, routine, and reset live in our life routine, and reset live in our life, routine and reset throughout the day. So we are creating these sections to our day. Patricia Sung 00:50 So we have a section here where we're living life or section here, a section here. And we're creating that pattern of like, dividing our day into pieces, because we don't feel time passing. When we name these sections, our brain is easier. It makes it easier for our brain to understand how the time is passing whoops, went too far. Um, okay, so this is how the day is going to look we're dividing it into five sections. So we start here with our wakeup that's anchor number one in the morning, and we're going to move across the little, little drawing here. We go from morning, to midday into the evening, and then nighttime, so we have six anchors, 123456. Patricia Sung 01:34 Now, anchors one and six are decided for us for when we wake up, and when we go sleep. So
  2. Now, anchors one and six are decided for us for

    when we wake up, and when we go sleep. So that's predetermined, the anchors that you need to choose our anchors two through five. So your morning anchor midday afternoon and evening. And I'll give you some examples of what what does this look like. Okay, so if you are a stay at home mom, or you have really little ones, your anchors might be as simple as breakfast, lunch, dinner and the kids going to bed. That may be how you divide your day into sections. If you have kids who are in like a preschool age range, maybe your day is divided by leaving for school, preschool, pick up dinner, and then the kids bedtime. Patricia Sung 02:20 If you have older kids, your day might be divided by leaving for school, lunchtime, school pickup, and then dinner, which may end up just like rolling into bedtime. Because if you have kids who are doing like extracurriculars and stuff after school, you hit dinner bedtime, there's not a huge amount of time in there. So really, you can make that one anchor just dinners the anchor and bedtime kind of just rolls from it. And we'll get more into that later when we talk about building honor anchors. Patricia Sung 02:46 If you are a working parent, then you start with you leave for work, lunch, then leave work for Home. In that case, likely that dinner just like follows right through like you leave work and you're going right into the dinnertime so you don't need a separate dinner anchor it is part of that same one, and then the kids bedtime. So your angers will look different depending on what stage you're in. And I want you to pick the things that make sense for you. But generally speaking, they will be like morning ish time, a midday ish time, some kind of afternoon evening time, and then in evening time, and then be like that's not tied anything like if you have more a more unusual schedule for your work day, then you know, these might be different. Patricia Sung 03:32 Like if you work a night shift, your anchors might be like flip flopped, and you're making your kids breakfast over here in this anchor like that's okay. You are dividing your waking hours into these sections and you don't want like any one of them to be huge compared to the other so most of these should be about the same amount of hours. So just as an example, for me, my anger is right now. We're waking up around 5:45-6 o'clock to get ready for elementary school. I'm leaving for preschool at nine so that ends up being about three hours in between here then preschool pickup is usually my anchor here on the days we don't preschool pickup I choose lunch as mine. Patricia Sung 04:18 So you may have days that are different like your, your Monday, Wednesday, Friday might be like more similar and your Tuesday Thursday might be more similar like that's okay. And so there that means I have about three hours here. And then we eat dinner around 530 So from preschool to dinnertime we end up with about what's that five hours so that's probably like my
  3. like the longest I would recommend going from anchor to

    anchor and then it rolls right into bedtime is usually 6:45 because we get up super early. And you know my bedtime I would love to say is earlier but it's usually about midnight. So that's about, you know, five hours there. Patricia Sung 05:06 So it is possible for you to have a split here, that could be like I say five hours about the max you want. And if you're getting only like an hour in between here, then probably something that might not be the best anchor like those things might actually go together and you need a different anchor. So just kind of as like a ballpark, I would say, these should be probably in the range of two to four hours apart, generally speaking. And in looking ahead, just as like a heads up this week, up to the first anchor, is be as a mom will usually look pretty similar, like the way you're getting your kids out the door, like up ready out the door, or a birdie breakfast, in time for homeschool or whatever it is, generally looks fairly similar. So this block is going to be pretty similar across days. Patricia Sung 06:01 This is where you're going to have the times where we can we have more wiggle room in between anchors two and three, three and four, four and five. But like for me in the season, when right now our kids are younger, and like dinnertime and bedtime, kind of all rolls together. And this is again, a pretty similar pattern, like the way that we run our evenings. Like we don't have a ton of extracurriculars yet, we're not my son's only in first grade at this moment. So we don't have a ton of practices and rehearsals and what have you, I'm you know, that will change. And so this one looks pretty consistent for us, I know are consistent, it's pretty similar across the board. And then what happens between when the kids go to bed and when I go to bed is also pretty similar. There's not like a huge range and what that is. Patricia Sung 06:46 So when I look at my anchors, and times like this is always fairly like similar. This one's fairly similar. And this one's really similar. So the where I'm doing that like the only time I'm like doing like work and choosing what needs to happen is really in these two sections here, my mid like my morning area and then by midday area that makes it a lot easier for me to take all the mental load out because I know what needs to happen in the mornings and I know what needs to happen in the evenings. And there's not a lot of decision fatigue and what have you that goes into those times. And these are the biggest piece to get the hang of though because they affect your day so much. Patricia Sung 07:28 So spoiler alert, we are not starting there. We're gonna pick something easy to start with, get some momentum going before we tackle things like morning routines and bedtime routines, because they're a lot more work. Alright, I'm going to pause there and our next video I'm going to explain how to do this