$30 off During Our Annual Pro Sale. View Details »

Getting Your Point Across: The Psychology of Communication

Getting Your Point Across: The Psychology of Communication

Do you ever feel like your coworkers are speaking a different language? Or like the things you say aren’t the things they hear? It’s true that communicating with other humans can be hard sometimes: you could use the wrong words, or you could convey something unintended, or even let your real opinion slip out... and that’s without talking about body language and other nonverbal communication. Luckily, you can get better at it! In this talk you’ll learn about both high- and low-context communication, how the two differ, and how two very different people can have a conversation they both understand. You’ll learn what things humans communicate non-verbally, how to use this effectively, and you might even learn some things about listening. Come get a jump-start on the next conversation you have!

Arthur Doler
PRO

May 18, 2021
Tweet

More Decks by Arthur Doler

Other Decks in Technology

Transcript

  1. None
  2. Getting Your Point Across The Psychology of Communication

  3. @arthurdoler Arthur Doler Resources: Boring details about me are at

    https://arthurdoler.com http://bit.ly/art-getting-point-across
  4. @arthurdoler It really is assumed to be common knowledge…

  5. @arthurdoler … but it’s pretty obvious when you think about

    it
  6. @arthurdoler (not to scale)

  7. @arthurdoler Stutz et al, 2015

  8. @arthurdoler Two great tastes, together for the first time

  9. @arthurdoler Please do not harass mimes, they’re just folks doing

    their jobs
  10. @arthurdoler It’s hard to care about what you don’t understand

  11. @arthurdoler Make sure to spend skill points on it when

    you level up
  12. @arthurdoler What a Context Is High Context vs Low Context

    False Cognates & Shibboleths Information vs Communication Dealing with Conflict & Disagreements
  13. @arthurdoler LET’S MEET OUR GUIDES ON THIS JOURNEY On this

    journey you learn about talking through me talking
  14. @arthurdoler You probably know who he is

  15. @arthurdoler https://twitter.com/FreyjaErlings/status/1122792633489817601, joke used with permission of the author

  16. @arthurdoler Copyright Paramount Pictures, 1991

  17. @arthurdoler It’s less likely you know who she is

  18. @arthurdoler Text copyright Harper Collins. Date unknown.

  19. @arthurdoler CONTEXTS Vast, unseen, swirling around us and surrounding us…

  20. @arthurdoler She’s come to clean up your code

  21. @arthurdoler Talk about being thrown in the deep end…

  22. @arthurdoler I’m sure this won’t go wrong.

  23. @arthurdoler National Instruments - http://www.ni.com/cms/images/devzone/tut/DataFinder_in_DIAdem.png

  24. @arthurdoler Just a slight misunderstanding

  25. @arthurdoler Copyright Paramount Pictures, 1991

  26. @arthurdoler National Instruments - http://www.ni.com/cms/images/devzone/tut/DIAdem_VIEW.PNG

  27. @arthurdoler Still not great

  28. @arthurdoler JunkCharts - https://junkcharts.typepad.com/junk_charts/2013/01/ruining-the-cake-with-too-much- icing.html

  29. @arthurdoler An accurate picture of most developers, tbf

  30. @arthurdoler Yup, this is surely going to make things better

  31. @arthurdoler This whole scenario has been confusing!

  32. @arthurdoler Matzen, Trumbo, Leach, and Leshikar, 2015

  33. @arthurdoler Edelman, 2008

  34. @arthurdoler Note that there’s two arrows here…

  35. @arthurdoler Ferguson, Lennox-Terrion, Ahmed, & Jaya, 2014

  36. @arthurdoler SHARED CONTEXTS Western Cultural Context Startup Context Company-Specific Context

    Fun exercise – what contexts do you share with others watching this talk?
  37. @arthurdoler Würtz, 2005

  38. @arthurdoler You take the high context, and I’ll take the

    low context…
  39. @arthurdoler “High” is not synonymous with “good”, here

  40. @arthurdoler FEWER WORDS PER MESSAGE Hall, 1989

  41. @arthurdoler EXPLANATION IS SPARSE; THE CULTURE FILLS IN Hall, 1989

  42. @arthurdoler INDIVIDUAL WORDS CAN MEAN A LOT Hall, 1989

  43. @arthurdoler MORE IDIOMS Hall, 1989

  44. @arthurdoler MORE HOMOGENOUS OR EXCLUSIVE Hall, 1989

  45. @arthurdoler “Low” is not synonymous with “Bad”, either

  46. @arthurdoler MORE WORDS PER MESSAGE Hall, 1989

  47. @arthurdoler TENDS TO EXPLAIN THINGS FURTHER Hall, 1989

  48. @arthurdoler VALUE OF A SINGLE WORD IS LESS IMPORTANT Hall,

    1989
  49. @arthurdoler USED MORE IN HETEROGENEOUS POPULATIONS Hall, 1989

  50. @arthurdoler Würtz, 2005

  51. @arthurdoler HOW TO COMMUNICATE WELL IN CONTEXTS Navigating through the

    clouds
  52. @arthurdoler KNOW YOUR AUDIENCE Always a good idea

  53. @arthurdoler You’ve probably got more in common than you think

  54. @arthurdoler This can be trickier than it seems.

  55. @arthurdoler If you learn a bunch of contexts, you can

    be a translator for others.
  56. @arthurdoler It’s sad to see a good captain succumb to

    buzzword fever.
  57. @arthurdoler In developer terms…

  58. @arthurdoler In business terms…

  59. @arthurdoler This has tripped me up more than once SIMPLE

    SAFE VS VS COMPLEX RISKY
  60. @arthurdoler FALSE COGNATES Any linguists in the audience please don’t

    yell at me :c
  61. @arthurdoler This effect can get even deeper when you consider

    connotations…
  62. @arthurdoler AVOID MISUNDERSTANDING BY UNPACKING TERMS In other words, defaulting

    to a very low context.
  63. @arthurdoler Technically he’s not defining the center point so it’s

    not explicit enough
  64. @arthurdoler “BEST OF BREED” Containing must-have features that clearly outperform

    all other software in its class Remember, you’re explaining what the term means to you.
  65. @arthurdoler At least it’s not a conservation of angular momentum

    problem
  66. @arthurdoler “BEST OF BREED” •50% revenue increase driven by new

    features •Software added to the Gartner Magic Quadrant •150% increase in intern applications … sure, those all seem reasonable
  67. @arthurdoler The consequences don’t have to be personal, either.

  68. @arthurdoler “BEST OF BREED” “If we do not achieve this

    goal, we’ll fail to get our next round of funding.” Time to polish up the resume, probably
  69. @arthurdoler DON’T USE JARGON OR SHIBBOLETHS Uh…

  70. @arthurdoler Copyright Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer, 1987

  71. @arthurdoler SHIBBOLETH (N): FROM HEBREW ŠIBBŌLEṮ, “EAR OF CORN” 2A:

    a use of language regarded as distinctive of a particular group 2B: a custom or usage regarded as distinguishing one group from others Merriam-Webster (https://www.merriam-webster.com/dictionary/shibboleth)
  72. @arthurdoler XAML Not easy to know how to even pronounce

    it.
  73. @arthurdoler INSTANCE Did you know “instance” can also be a

    verb?
  74. @arthurdoler “SEQUEL" I would also accept “squeal” for this entry.

  75. @arthurdoler SCHEDULING This is my favorite one of these.

  76. @arthurdoler The developer-y way of thinking about it

  77. @arthurdoler INFORMATION VS COMMUNICATION

  78. @arthurdoler Jacobs, Konrad [CC BY-SA 2.0 de (https://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-sa/2.0/de/deed.en)]

  79. @arthurdoler Reza (1994), An Introduction to Information Theory

  80. @arthurdoler Reza (1994), An Introduction to Information Theory

  81. @arthurdoler Reza (1994), An Introduction to Information Theory

  82. @arthurdoler Reza (1994), An Introduction to Information Theory

  83. @arthurdoler If you just want to transmit, build a transmitter.

  84. @arthurdoler Feels like a weird question coming halfway through the

    talk…
  85. @arthurdoler Note: this is a model of what is going

    on, not what is actually going on
  86. @arthurdoler This is closer but it’s still a model

  87. @arthurdoler Nonaka & Takeuchi, 1995

  88. @arthurdoler This can be as painful as this drawing makes

    it seem.
  89. @arthurdoler Worthington, 2015

  90. @arthurdoler NON-VERBAL COMMUNICATION Not just limited to rude gestures

  91. @arthurdoler Kinesics (body language) Proxemics (distance) Paralanguage (tone of voice)

    Haptics (touch) Eye contact Frequency of glances Patterns of fixation Oculesics (blink rate) Giri, (2009)
  92. @arthurdoler Two distinct, bidirectional channels

  93. @arthurdoler Chartrand & Bargh, 1999

  94. @arthurdoler Pfeifer, Iacoboni, Mazziotta, & Daprettoa, 2007

  95. @arthurdoler REMEMBER, WE’RE SOCIAL ANIMALS You could even make an

    argument we’re hypersocial animals
  96. @arthurdoler Nothing more than feelings… ♪♪

  97. @arthurdoler Generally accepted as good advice

  98. @arthurdoler Please consult your doctor if your gut is actually

    speaking to you.
  99. @arthurdoler TACIT VS EXPLICIT KNOWLEDGE We’re learning all kinds of

    categories today
  100. @arthurdoler Nonaka & Takeuchi, 1995

  101. @arthurdoler Nonaka & Takeuchi, 1995

  102. @arthurdoler Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow

  103. @arthurdoler Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow

  104. @arthurdoler Kahneman, Thinking Fast and Slow

  105. @arthurdoler Communicating the uncommunicatable

  106. @arthurdoler REACH FOR ANALOGY OR METAPHOR As though reaching for

    truth across the span of miles
  107. @arthurdoler EXPRESS IT NONVERBALLY Interpretive dance, anyone?

  108. @arthurdoler COMMUNICATE THE FEELING AND GIVE IT TIME Your brain’s

    automated processes want to chew on it for a while.
  109. @arthurdoler oh no she didn’t!!!!

  110. @arthurdoler SEEK FIRST TO UNDERSTAND Covey, 1989

  111. @arthurdoler ACTIVE LISTENING Did you know this is an actual

    practice you can get wrong?
  112. @arthurdoler This definition brought to you by the Tautological Department

    of Tautologies
  113. @arthurdoler Well, since you asked so nicely…

  114. @arthurdoler 1. FULLY CONCENTRATE, LISTEN, & REMEMBER Atwater, 1981

  115. @arthurdoler 2. DON’T JUST THINK ABOUT WHAT YOU’RE GOING TO

    SAY NEXT! Atwater, 1981
  116. @arthurdoler 3. REPEAT WHAT THEY SAID BACK TO THEM Atwater,

    1981
  117. @arthurdoler Way easier to describe it than to do it

  118. @arthurdoler FIND A FRIENDLY PARTICIPANT & ALTERNATE LISTENING Be sure

    to schedule several hours for this.
  119. @arthurdoler GO GET IN ARGUMENTS (NOT ON THE INTERNET) I’m

    100% serious about that last bit, ONLY DO THIS IN PERSON
  120. @arthurdoler OTHER CONFLICT MANAGEMENT METHODS Not including trial by combat

  121. @arthurdoler ASSUME YOU MIGHT ACTUALLY BE WRONG This part hurts,

    but…
  122. @arthurdoler ASSUME THEY MIGHT BE RIGHT This part is even

    more painful.
  123. @arthurdoler COGNITIVE EMPATHY To be honest this sounds like a

    Radiohead album
  124. @arthurdoler Gerace, Day, Casey, & Mohr, 2013

  125. @arthurdoler Ross, Greene, and House, 1977

  126. @arthurdoler

  127. @arthurdoler Strategies for personal improvements

  128. @arthurdoler KNOW YOUR CONTEXTS Self-examination is useful anyhow.

  129. @arthurdoler ACTIVELY LISTEN And practice it when you can.

  130. @arthurdoler EXPLORE & EXPERIENCE MANY CONTEXTS YOURSELF Get to know

    other people and listen to how they talk.
  131. @arthurdoler MIRROR OTHER PEOPLE You’ll often do this naturally, pay

    attention to when you do it.
  132. @arthurdoler PRACTICE YOUR COGNITIVE EMPATHY Everybody’s coming from somewhere different.

  133. @arthurdoler Arthur Doler My website is probably still https://arthurdoler.com Resources:

    http://bit.ly/art-getting-point-across