Harnessing the Supernerd Hivemind: the Power of Feedback

~20min talk on getting better at soliciting and receiving feedback, delivered at New Relic annual product org offsite.

Transcript

1. Harnessing The Supernerd Hive Mind: 
 The Power Of Feedback KWu Ruby Agent Engineer
2. a case study: is how you handle feedback important?
3. intro > case study
4. intro > case study
5. intro > case study
6. intro > case study
7. intro > case study
8. intro > case study
9. intro > case study
10. intro > case study
11. intro > case study “You have given us helpful information…

12. intro > case study “You have given us helpful information…
 please don’t ever do that again.”
13. intro > you need feedback to know if you’re succeeding
14. intro > what is feedback?
15. intro > what is feedback? everything!
16. intro > what is feedback?
17. intro > what is feedback? who is asked what is said what is met with enthusiasm what actions are taken
18. intro > what is feedback? who is asked what is said what is met with enthusiasm what actions are taken …or not …or not …or not …or not
19. why people hesitate to give feedback
20. why people hesitate > 2. 3. 1. uncertainty about reception
21. why people hesitate > 1. uncertainty about reception people have baggage that you have no control over
22. why people hesitate > 2. belief that nothing will change 3. 1. uncertainty about reception
23. why people hesitate > 2. belief that nothing will change put themselves out on a limb…
 for nothing.
24. why people hesitate > 2. belief that nothing will change 3. large effort for right tone 1. uncertainty about reception
25. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone problem gets worse with more levels
26. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone “I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, being —forgive me—rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger."
27. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone “I make mistakes like the next man. In fact, being —forgive me—rather cleverer than most men, my mistakes tend to be correspondingly huger."
28. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone difficult to get feedback as you’re more senior
29. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone people feel it isn’t “their place”
30. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone “Execs don’t get told when something is going wrong.”
31. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone “Thermocline of Truth”
32. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone “Thermocline of Truth”
33. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone “Thermocline of Truth”
34. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone “Thermocline of Truth”
35. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone “Thermocline of Truth”
36. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone “Thermocline of Truth”
37. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone “we want to bring bad news into the light”
38. why people hesitate > 3. large effort for right tone “…only works if there is no shame or fear.”
39. why people hesitate > definitely a 2-way street
40. 2. prove sincerity 3. help others help you 1. get truly comfortable
41. 2. prove sincerity 3. help others help you 1. get truly comfortable
42. 1. get truly comfortable > Mr Ginn’s advice
43. 1. get truly comfortable > a story “You’ll want to ask your friend, but they’ll just be nice.”
44. 1. get truly comfortable > a story “But really, you should ask someone who’s going to just tear into it, just like, really rip it apart.”
45. 1. get truly comfortable > a story “But really, you should ask someone who’s going to just tear into it, just like, really rip it apart.”
46. 1. get truly comfortable > a story “You know who you should ask?”
47. 1. get truly comfortable > a story “You know who you should ask?”
48. 1. get truly comfortable > a story “KWu!!! She has no mercy!”
49. 1. get truly comfortable > a story “KWu!!! She has no mercy!”
50. 1. get truly comfortable > a story
51. 1. get truly comfortable > a story …probably doesn’t make you want to ask me for edits!
52. 1. get truly comfortable > a story …probably doesn’t make you want to ask me for edits! (I’m nicer now, promise!)
53. 1. get truly comfortable > identity & work
54. 1. get truly comfortable > people can sense our discomfort
55. 1. get truly comfortable > some ways to help yourself accept feedback better
56. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept 2. 3. 1. be authentic
57. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept 2. 3. 1. be authentic
58. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept > 1. be authentic be honest with yourself
59. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept > 1. be authentic be honest with yourself
60. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept 2. recognize your emotions 3. 1. be authentic
61. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept > 2. recognize emotions
62. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept > 2. recognize emotions
63. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept > 2. recognize emotions
64. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept > 2. recognize emotions
65. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept 2. recognize your emotions 3. choose to be informed 1. be authentic
66. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept > 3. be informed don’t have to use the proposed solution
67. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept > 3. be informed but getting information
68. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept > 3. be informed prioritization is up to you
69. 1. get truly comfortable > ways to help yourself accept 2. recognize your emotions 3. choose to be informed 1. be authentic
70. 1. get truly comfortable > it’s hard “If someone thinks I’m doing something wrong, then they’ll just tell me.”
71. 1. get truly comfortable > it’s hard THIS IS A TRAP!!!
72. 1. get truly comfortable > it’s hard “We don’t come up with market-dominating products as a team of 1.” Amy Boyle
73. 1. get truly comfortable > it’s hard What Google Learned From Its Quest to Build the Perfect Team
74. 1. get truly comfortable > it’s hard “psychological safety”
75. 1. get truly comfortable > it’s hard allows people to take risks
76. 1. get truly comfortable > it’s hard allows people to take risks BE BOLD
77. 1. get truly comfortable > it’s hard goal: psychological safety
78. 1. get truly comfortable > it’s hard goal: psychological safety
79. 2. prove sincerity 3. help others help you 1. get truly comfortable
80. 2. prove sincerity > 2. 3. 1. examine reaction to dissent
81. 2. prove sincerity > 1. reaction to dissent words of power
82. 2. prove sincerity > 1. reaction to dissent do you favor people who agree?
83. 2. prove sincerity > 1. reaction to dissent “Upscale Survey Results”
84. 2. prove sincerity > 1. reaction to dissent “What else should I consider here? I might be wrong!”
85. 2. prove sincerity > 1. reaction to dissent things to do more of:
86. 2. prove sincerity > 1. reaction to dissent things to do more of: 1. show excitement
87. 2. prove sincerity > 1. reaction to dissent things to do more of: 1. show excitement (passionate!)
88. 2. prove sincerity > 1. reaction to dissent things to do more of: 1. show excitement 2. disagree in the open (passionate!)
89. 2. prove sincerity > 1. reaction to dissent things to do more of: 1. show excitement 2. disagree in the open 3. have an anonymous channel (passionate!)
90. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard 3. 1. examine reaction to dissent
91. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard be appreciative
92. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard > be appreciative
93. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard > be appreciative
94. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard > be appreciative
95. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard > be appreciative
96. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard > be appreciative “creepy twin outfits”
97. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard > be appreciative show appreciation especially when people deliver hard messages
98. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard > Feedback is a gift.
99. 2. prove sincerity > things to do more of:
100. 2. prove sincerity > things to do more of: 1. pass Turing test of perspective
101. 2. prove sincerity > things to do more of: 1. pass Turing test of perspective 2. assume best intentions
102. 2. prove sincerity > things to do more of: 1. pass Turing test of perspective 2. assume best intentions 3. listen & ask questions on mental model
103. 2. prove sincerity > things to do more of: 1. pass Turing test of perspective 2. assume best intentions 3. listen & ask questions on mental model (connected!)
104. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard 1. examine reaction to dissent
105. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard 3. tell people what happens 1. examine reaction to dissent
106. 2. prove sincerity > 2. make people feel heard 3. tell people what happens (accountable) 1. examine reaction to dissent
107. 2. prove sincerity > 3. tell people what happens “without a response, people will stop speaking”
108. 2. prove sincerity >
109. 2. prove sincerity >
110. 2. prove sincerity > O S A A
111. 2. prove sincerity > O S A A
112. Opinions As A Service! 2. prove sincerity > O S A A
113. 2. prove sincerity > (but most people are not like that.)
114. 2. prove sincerity > it’s your responsibility to get feedback for yourself
115. 2. prove sincerity > “If you haven’t deliberately created an environment that welcomes candor and makes it safe for people to speak freely, you can’t assume that they are.”
116. 2. prove sincerity 3. help others help you 1. get truly comfortable
117. 3. help others help you > 2. 3. 1. explain context & give direction
118. 3. help others help you > 1. explain context & give direction give people time to prepare
119. 3. help others help you > 1. explain context & give direction make it easy
120. 3. help others help you > 1. explain context & give direction what should I… do more of do less of continue doing
121. 3. help others help you > 1. explain context & give direction 30% vs. 90% feedback
122. 3. help others help you > 2. ask the right questions 3. 1. explain context & give direction
123. 3. help others help you > 2. ask the right questions 3. give feedback on the feedback 1. explain context & give direction
124. 3. help others help you > 3. give feedback on the feedback “What was particularly helpful to learn was…”
125. putting this into practice
126. conclusion > feedback I’d like to get

127. conclusion > good places to eat
 feedback I’d like to get

128. conclusion > good places to eat
 how amazing this talk was!!! feedback I’d like to get

129. conclusion > good places to eat
 how amazing this talk was!!! (“what resonated”)
 feedback I’d like to get

130. conclusion > good places to eat
 how amazing this talk was!!! (“what resonated”)
 what was surprising?
 feedback I’d like to get

131. conclusion > good places to eat
 how amazing this talk was!!! (“what resonated”)
 what was surprising?
 what am I missing? feedback I’d like to get

132. conclusion > good places to eat
 how amazing this talk was!!! (“what resonated”)
 what was surprising?
 what am I missing? feedback I’d like to get

133. conclusion >
134. conclusion > “Whenever I talk to KWu, I feel she is running an experiment…

135. conclusion > “Whenever I talk to KWu, I feel she is running an experiment…
 …and I’m the lab rat.”
136. conclusion > ! thank you for being my lab and especially: John Hyland, Amy Boyle, Erika Arnold, Alice Goldfuss, Ashley Puls, Ruby Andrews, Balki Kodarapu, Katie Leonard, Jason Clark, Darin Swanson, Ted Pennings, Seth Engelhard, Caito Scherr, Zoe Kay, Rebecca Holzschuh, Matt Wear, Noelle Daley, Tobby Lugo
137. appendix
138. outline 1. get truly comfortable 2. prove sincerity 3. help others help you be authentic examine how you react to dissent explain context & give people direction recognize & name your emotions make people feel heard ask the right questions choose to be informed tell people what happens give feedback on the feedback
139. more things to do more of 1. ask for feedback regularly 2. explicitly draw people out 3. talk about norms on how feedback should be delivered 4. let other people offer ideas first
140. more things to say • “If you had to poke holes in this, what would you say?” • “I’m not 100% sold that this is the way to go, so would really like to hear other perspectives on it.” • “I hadn’t thought of that before!” • “This was a great thing to flag for us to think through.” • “Thank you for talking to me about this. I’m really glad to have a chance to talk with you about it.”
141. references http://brucefwebster.com/2008/04/15/the-wetware-crisis-the- themocline-of-truth http://quickbase.intuit.com/blog/the-real-reasons-your-team-isnt-telling- you-what-they-think http://quickbase.intuit.com/blog/how-to-get-your-staff-to-be-more- candid-with-you http://femgineer.com/2016/06/feedback-got-frenzy-learn-filter/
142. giving feedback http://firstround.com/review/thoughts-on-gender-and-radical-candor/ http://www.askamanager.org/2016/02/my-employee-wants-to-be- micromanaged.html https://speakerdeck.com/rmw/frameworks-for-feedback-long- version-2016-may-self-conference
143. “Hang in there” motivational poster Admiral Ackbar, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi Harry Potter (book series) Michelle Tanner, Full House (TV show) meme references