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1-2 Activity: What is Patricia's Motivation?

1-2 Activity: What is Patricia's Motivation?

More Decks by Patricia Sung | Motherhood in ADHD

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  1. Module 1 Motivation Activity Example: how to
    keep a calendar...
    Wed, 4/27 9:23AM 5:01
    feel, calendar, digging, rewrite, reasons, story, successful, kids, skills, hot mess, coming, repairing,
    spinning, prepared, important, adhd, person, brains, competent, end result
    Patricia Sung
    Patricia Sung 00:00
    Hey there. So as part of module one, our activity is to dig in and figure out why is it that we are
    doing this? What's our motivation? And for ADHD brains, a lot of times, it's just helpful for us to
    have an example of what does this look like. And then it's easier for us to get to the end result.
    So I'm going to walk you through why it is that I decided to get a handle on my calendar. And
    for you, it might be a totally different story. That's okay. I don't want your reasons to be my
    reasons. But I want you to understand, these are the kinds of questions you're asking in order
    to find what yours are.
    Patricia Sung 00:33
    So I realized I needed to get something done about my calendar, when I was just a mess all the
    time, I always felt like I was a few steps behind and running late to things and getting surprised
    by stuff that was coming. And I was tired of feeling like a hot mess all the time. So what do I
    want from that? Like, what's the actual solution I'm looking for is I want to feel calm, I want to
    feel peaceful, I want to feel I don't like the term in control of your day, because we're never in
    control of our day. But I want to feel competent, prepared for what I expect to come in,
    hopefully, a little prepared for what I don't expect it to come. And how am I going to fix this?
    Like, I don't want to spend the whole day panicking and fixing problems, like I want to see them
    Patricia Sung 01:24
    So I knew that I had to like look ahead and see what was coming so that I could save time save
    the headache. Why do I want to save all that frustration is because I want to feel competent, I
    want to feel successful. A lot of it has to do with repairing my self image, I don't want to be
    always feeling like I'm the person who's always late and always, like you're responsible, I want
    to have a different story, I want to rewrite that story that I am failing. And so that's one of my

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  2. main drivers is that when I am prepared and know what's coming in my calendar, I don't feel
    like a failure. I'm rewriting that version of who I am. And not to say that I'm changing who I am.
    Because the thing is, I was never a failure. I was just trying to keep up with people that are not
    like me. And that's not realistic. So I'm rewriting that story to say, How does Patricia who she is
    do well within the constraints that I need to function as a person who exists in this society with
    kids who are, you know, in school and have places to be and you know, jobs to do.
    Patricia Sung 02:43
    The other thing that was really important to me is like what I'm doing and like why else is it? I
    wanted to feel like a good mom. What does that look like for me, I want to be present. I don't
    want to be this like headless chicken running around. When I'm with my kids, and I'm with my
    spouse, I want to be present with them. I want to be listening to what they are saying instead of
    in my head spinning of like, what did I forget to do? What did I mess up today? What did I forget
    about tomorrow, when I'm not in my head spinning, I want my kids to be like a balanced people
    who hopefully only need a little therapy and not a lot of therapy. I want them to have a role
    model in me of what it looks like to be successful, even when you are different. And so I want to
    get those skills so that I can teach them those skills. I want them to know how much they like
    that I love them. And I want them to be secure successful adults. And when I'm repairing my
    self confidence, and I feel like a good mom, and I am teaching my kids those skills and I feel
    like I'm making them into hopefully secure adults. Those are my driving reasons.
    Patricia Sung 03:55
    When you're asking like, why is that important? Why does that matter? Digging in there and it
    feels big. You know for we're talking about our calendar, but it is like that's the reason we learn
    those life skills is so that we can feel good about ourselves so that we can rewrite that story so
    that we can do whatever goals and dreams that you are pursuing and pushing for. So I want
    you to keep digging and asking why why is that important to you? Why does that matter? What
    does that mean for you? What does that result look like? Why why why why why why keep
    digging in until you find those answers and then you're going to get to a point where you're like
    okay, this this is it like in my heart and my soul. I feel like this is really what matters to me.
    Patricia Sung 04:47
    So I know you can do it. I know it's hard. But I know in there deep down you know why it is that
    you want to do this and when we zero in on that. That is when I keep our ADHD brains on task.

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