TMM_Setting_Expectations

Transcript

1. I-2 Setting Expectations - TMM Introduction (1) Fri, 2/18 9:21PM 5:31 SUMMARY KEYWORDS plan, life, support, day, routine, create, baby steps, rough drafts, hoped, modifiable, organic foods, living breathing, walk, adhd, wobbly, falter, energy, outstretched arms, kids, talk SPEAKERS Patricia Sung Patricia Sung 00:00 Hey there successful mama, welcome back to our introduction module. Now, we're gonna set some expectations for ourselves so that we can be successful in the big picture. Patricia Sung 00:09 Now, when we're creating our structures and our routines and rhythms, they should fit your day and your life and your priorities. That means that everyone's is going to look different because everyone has different lives. We're going to take anything that we can, that's a motherhood task that is repetitive, and we can kind of plan for it. And we're going to look for ways that we can automate, outsource or autopilot them so that we can lower the toll they take on our mental bandwidth. Patricia Sung 00:37 So we're spending less brain effort on the things that we can make a plane for, and put in those three categories. And then we have more energy for doing the things that really matter, like hanging out there kids. We are going to falter, it's part of having ADHD, there's going to be things that don't go according to plan. t's going to be hard, the things are gonna fall off the rails sometimes, and it's okay. That's part of our life with ADHD, this is a no judgment zone, or just gonna jump back in and keep going. Patricia Sung 01:07 It's gonna be a lot of trial and error here. Now, okay, let me go ahead here. Okay. So keep in mind that ideal is a lot. No day is going to run exactly according to plan. These are guidelines, they're, like, rough drafts, and how the day's gonna go. We're going to create a system that can be rearranged depending on how your day is going, or you know what crazy thing happened.
2. Patricia Sung 01:36 But we're not looking for the perfect day, or the perfect schedule or the perfect routine, because we're not perfect. It's not the goal of our lives. We're not robots, we're humans. And we're raising humans also not robots, they're going to throw interesting things into the day. Or why do we think it's a kink. This is what kids do. They're different every day, right? Patricia Sung 02:00 We're not looking for them to be perfect every day, we're not looking for ourselves to be perfect every day. So we're creating a like a guideline for the day, but it's not set in stone. So that means we're looking for flexible support. Because it's not written in stone, it's going to change. Patricia Sung 02:17 This is like a living breathing thing here is here to support you not make you feel awful, because you didn't do exactly what was on the plan. And we don't want to have so much structure that it's running our day and that we feel like we're putting more focus on the on the frame of our day instead of actual artwork, which we'll talk more about a little bit. And the whole point is for it to be there to support you. Patricia Sung 02:46 The routine is not the king, you are the queen and the routine is there to support you. We're going to make things easier by putting things into patterns and grouping things and making it so that it's much more easier to make changes when things don't go as we had hoped. Because when you have kids things often don't go as you had hoped. And but I want it to be easily modifiable for you so that if you're just having a low energy day or somebody's sick, whatever it is that you can modify quickly. And it's not like oh my goodness, where am I even going to start today, you have a plan in place of how am I going to move forward. And we're looking at baby steps here. Patricia Sung 03:26 We are not trying to we plan like, throw away our whole old life start a new one in the next seven weeks. A lot of times with ADHD we go all in and we're like and now I'm going to be the person that wakes up at 5am and does morning yoga and I'm going to train for a marathon, I'm only going to eat organic foods and we create this like crazy ideal. And we go headfirst all in and then it only lasts for a week or days or a day or we didn't even start it because it was too much. Right. Patricia Sung 03:56
3. Patricia Sung 03:56 So we're looking at baby steps. So while we are making changes throughout this whole plan, we're not going to be a new person comes seven weeks from now that's not the goal. The goal is to create a frame that makes sense for your life. We're making little changes as we go. And all those added together will be big changes. But remember, when we talk about baby steps, it's not just that we're taking small steps. Patricia Sung 04:19 When you think about how a baby is when they're trying to learn to walk. They're very wobbly. They fall a lot. They you know they start doing the of course they don't send camera the word when they walk along the furniture and they're holding on for dear life. We want to set up those expectations for ourselves that we're going to be wobbly we're going to fall we're going to need to cling on to some stable things as we go. We're going to watch other people and see how they do it. Patricia Sung 04:49 You know I'm going to be here with my outstretched arms been like come on you can do it so that you have me for support right I'm going to be cheering you on. It is going to be difficult but we you can do It just like a baby can learn how to walk, you are able to figure out how to run your day in a way that makes sense for you. Patricia Sung 05:07 When you have someone there coaching you, who's going to put it in a way that makes sense for you. So we're doing baby steps. But that doesn't mean we're just taking little steps and means we're doing really hard work in this process. And you're going to be great. It's all going to come together. Patricia Sung 05:21 And I'm really proud of you for what you're doing here. And I hope you're proud of yourself too. So I'm going to pause here and see you in the next video.