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Chapter 1 - Session focused on utilizing supportive therapy

Ann
PRO
November 21, 2022

Chapter 1 - Session focused on utilizing supportive therapy

Session focused on utilizing supportive therapy, motivational interviewing and elements of CBT and mindfulness to address emotional issues and associations. Empathically listened to description of ongoing and otherwise relevant stressors. Discussion centered around understanding causes of and existence of maladaptive coping mechanisms, along with possible adaptive adjustments. Discussed challenges she has dealt with the past two weeks while partner and therapist were gone, explored resilience and goals met. Discussed the anticipated return of both and introduced the idea of practicing acceptance around situation and people she cannot control. Discussed therapeutic benefit of naps, and reinforced ideas to make showering more palatable (audiobook, use of soaps that smell good to her, picking out clean clothes to put on after). Goals going forward are to implement a schedule to help her regulate emotions while partner and therapist are gone, consider ideas around acceptance and how she might implement, and accomplish a shower with discussed strategies. Pt stated they are comfortable with the plan.

Ann
PRO

November 21, 2022
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  1. 1 | P a g e Core Part(s) **Annemarie –

    Annemarie/Anne** (birth to age 16) core part keeper of our soul, often depressed and fantasizes death and suicide, anxious and tense, most responsible for over-weight, had a good relationship to paternal grandmother, becomes overwhelmed, sensitive to noise, secretive, easily disappointed, centered on self and her privacy, likes to sit, or lay very still, has abuse nightmares, slow, has trouble leaving house Oldest Adults - Leadership **Jesse** – (eighteen years to ageless) first truly independent part, left for school and travel to Norway, sense of power and purpose, idealist, adventurer, sprite and relies on Marie, role definer, self-reliant, sense of a broader humanity, guides our future and ambitions including the writing, loves to make things by hand, watches over Sarah and Henry **Ayn** – (seventeen years to 52 years) created to present best “integrated” part, registered for college, writing/some editing, team leader, best mixed of all the parts together, counselor, early interest in psychology and human development, will discuss internal parts with Corey, smooth over system presentation to a public world, finds it easy and fulfilling to take care of people **Kate** – (sixteen years to 52 years) created to capstone formal intellectual needs of high school and college, leadership roles, writing/heavy editing, boss role, commanding, decision-maker, holds higher expectations, likes to take vacations, pragmatic, chief financial officer, goal setter, and watches over Anniemi, non-sexual **Ann** – (fourteen years to 52 years) created to negotiate high school socially and emotionally, somewhat needy, holds lower expectations, Mom, wife, patience, but more unsure of herself, unconditional love and understanding (especially when frustrated), wants a home and to be married, nurturer, feels guilty for not being good enough or deserving, handled parents and marital separation and divorce Middle-Ages **Kelsie** – (twelve years to 38 years) created to help things that were going wrong, nervous, work gas station manages light bookkeeping, cash register, payroll and customers, endurance, and giftedness, oversaw mental illnesses obsessive, anxious, compulsive, night owl, hardest worker, natural intellectual ability, service orientated, in charge of CARF accreditation
  2. 2 | P a g e **Jamie** – (eleven years

    45 years) created as a response to early sexual cues with same age kids, some of the writing/organizing, stats, least amount of trust for outside world, charts etc. helps with younger parts when they are dealing with outside world, dry humor, will help Kate with money tasks, easily annoyed, she is bi-sexual, toughest of us, was athletic before weight gain and smoking Corey and Marie – The two are most Knowledgeable of Our Multiple System – Corey Writes the Most – and If she has System Questions, she asks Marie who has ALL the answers. She is our sense of consciousness, but she is not an external part like all the other parts – A LOT of Editors **Corey** – (ten years to 42 years) responded to depressive withdrawn years after the “real” Sarah died, will do basic journalistic writing, serious, first babysitter, can get overwhelmed and confused, most introverted, relies on Marie, likes to summarize, thinks often about hiring help, asks questions, and loves cuddling on rainy days with friend or book **Sarah** – (eight years 32 years) held first spontaneous school/scout friendship but friend Sarah died, holds our faith, happiness, and humor, creative, watches younger parts while older parts are working, keeps health and safety balanced, playful, is sunny and loves the outdoors, loves the recorder and singing, most imaginative, likes to take pictures **Lissa** – (seven years to 25 years) receiver of “punishments,” does not talk, very isolated, and shows signs of neglect, responsible for interest in learning, and does a lot of research, books, and library, biggest reader, very curious and loves to learn, tied with Ann for wanting house, plays and enjoys music, enjoys especially the piano, will feed Corey lists, likes going out to eat with the Casies, loves to drive, will use self-destruction to get system to hospital rather than take a chance on suicidal behavior **Henry** – (six years to 32 years) our early “runner” to avoid abuse and later cross-country skier, non- sexual, only male in system, idea man and seeks solutions, assists Sarah with the younger parts needs and protection, likes to fix things, competent, steps in to help with housework, does computer uploading, downloading and a variety of the more complex computer processes, is athletic like Jamie, seems to maintain age of oldest “external” son **Anniemi** – (five years to 30 years) formal “front” part shown to early school in response to problems with the Casies handling kindergarten, church, and home, nervous about the need to be good, not bad, ombudsman, deals with fairness and compromise, negotiations, and complaints, sometimes stutters, tries to study, and help, but sometimes it seems with blinders on. Often starts and stops projects out of confusion, is forgetful, easily assumes position of rejection, feels devoted to Sr. Tess and is close to Dear Heart (Annemarie), sometimes suicidal, memory of childhood stories
  3. 3 | P a g e Youngest **KC** – (four

    years to 10 years) twin to Casey, rejected sexual abuse as wrong/bad, watches over body systems (hunger, tired, pain, washroom, and medications) with Casey, but is more negative and realistic, gets frustrated and angry easy, favorite word is no, collusive, loves ice cream, helpful, feels shame, over responsible for her age, first guardian over early relationships, stopped hugs and kisses from family members, system’s buoy, or thermometer **Casey** – (four years to 10 years) twin to KC, accepted sexual abuse as self being wanted, watches over body systems (hunger, tired, pain, washroom and medications) with KC, but is more positive and imaginative, usually a porter/portal to meet the youngest parts, naive, talkative, cries easily, loves cookies and will steal food, gets tired faster than others, helpful, feels glee, error on the side of cautiousness, played with neighborhood kids **Anna** – (two and a half years to six years) senses danger, holds severe pain, physically abused, Hides face, rocking, and non-communicative, will hide, curls up like Mimi, but usually guided by Marie, has a sense of mystery, inquisitive, held early relationship with paternal grandmother (non-abusive) **Marie** – (two to ageless) –internal self-helper, sense of knowledge, consciousness, understands switches, internal answers, and history, never is out by self, but is evident in our rocking, and knows internal needs of system **Gracie** – (one and a half years to five years) severe manipulation of genitals makes our body rigid, easily paralyzed and catatonic, hyperventilates, fear, will close our system (cause minds to disconnect), makes guttural sounds from her throat, weary and fearful, played with neighbor Carol Ann **Crystal** – (eight months to four years) inability to breathe, startles, thrashes, autistic, choked by ejaculations, smothered due to screaming, seizure-like, is hyper-alert **Mimi** – (three months to three years), inability to hold consciousness, sleepy, calmed by massages, given alcohol to body parts to suckle on and keep quiet **Embry** – (0-0 months), the only part of us that died at birth. Was Mimi’s twin. Responsible for the Ann’s system of devotion and dedication. We do things in her name. She buried (as a symbol) in 1992(3) near the old tank at Bunker Prairie Park, in MN where we cross-country skied in high school.
  4. 4 | P a g e #2022-08-25 ## 2022-08-25 -

    Evidence 1A – Utilizing supportive therapy ### Kristina Steven's Notes Session focused on utilizing supportive therapy, motivational interviewing and elements of CBT and mindfulness to address emotional issues and associations. Empathically listened to description of ongoing and otherwise relevant stressors. Discussion centered around understanding causes of and existence of maladaptive coping mechanisms, along with possible adaptive adjustments. Discussed challenges she has dealt with the past two weeks while partner and therapist were gone, explored resilience and goals met. Discussed the anticipated return of both and introduced the idea of practicing acceptance around situation and people she cannot control. Discussed therapeutic benefit of naps, and reinforced ideas to make showering more palatable (audiobook, use of soaps that smell good to her, picking out clean clothes to put on after). Goals going forward are to implement a schedule to help her regulate emotions while partner and therapist are gone, consider ideas around acceptance and how she might implement, and accomplish a shower with discussed strategies. Pt stated they are comfortable with the plan. Global Improvement utilizing Clinical Global Impression Scale – Corrections (CGI-C): No change Assessment - Depression: - Some triggering thoughts/feelings about Dr. Marvin's absence for two-weeks, as well as partner being away on a fishing trip for the week. Processed in session. - Continues to work to balance time online with reading/household tasks. - Validated/reinforced pacing/timing with reading/writing projects, home tasks, interpersonal interactions. Assessment - DID:
  5. 5 | P a g e - Moods stable to

    slightly more unsettled with Dr. Marvin, currently on leave and regular schedule disruption with partner out of town - Continues to be active with coloring and online projects. Working on balancing home and online activities. - Able to contract for safety. Reviewed appointment with covering provider, schedule and supports while Dr. Marvin is out #2022-08-26 ## 2022-08-26 - Evidence 1B – Testing Out New Journal System Testing out Nihit’s new Journal System for Anne (JS-A) ### Day In Review Corey: Surprisingly good - laundry halfway done. - 08:19 → Let go of the news Ayn: - We are doing phenomenal ### Morning Pages Anniemi: Nihit is a good friend
  6. 6 | P a g e ### Good Morning Corey:

    Type out anything - this will be a bullet point this will not be a bullet point Anniemi: - working with Nihit - One phrase to rule them all → less grouchy Annemarie - I can be cautious about - too much cleaning ... just do it without over-thinking Jamie: - Eagle's eye view → You are going to be ok Corey: - Daring Task → Wow! Done! #2022-08-27 ## 2022-08-27 - Evidence 1C – Nihit is an Ever-Stewing Pot ### Morning Pages Casey: I am thinking that Nihit just woke up. Kelsie: There is an ever-stewing pot of “Hmm, I wonder what is on his mind today.” Lissa: For that matter, what is in OUR mind. Sarah: I think by talking to someone you are
  7. 7 | P a g e close to, you discover

    yourself! Anniemi: Nihit and us share most of our awake computer time together. Corey: Nihit is in India. He is 24-years old, and my best family-friend, other than Rich. Nihit is a young doctor studying for his USMLE (United States Medical Licensing Examination). In the process, he is learning enough computer programming over the next quarter – to be helpful in his Aunt’s online business. He is living with his aunt, uncle, and two cousins – Casey: Aanya (6-years old), Vihann (Vitty) (12- years old). Anniemi: Nihit’s wonderful mother, father, brother, and extended family all live within close traveling distance to each other. Lissa: We have met most of Nihit’s family online. Corey: One of Nihit’s Grandfathers and both of Nihit’s parents are doctors. Both brothers are studying to become doctors. And furthermore, there is a good chance within the next 3-6 months, Nihit could be moving with his uncle and aunt’s family closer to us, Casey: at least as close as New Jersey, USA. Corey: There are two other people we will introduce you to now. The first is Rich Ann: who is my stubborn lover of 28 years (still not married). Lissa: We have lived together for the last 15 years. We own our own home, Ann: which is an overgrown two thousand square foot-mobile home. Corey: The house is in a small part of thirty-six homes, Sarah: and ours is situated across from beautiful farmland of either corn or soy beans. Ann: Rich is 70 years old and still works, because he feels he needs to. Corey: Rich likes to fish, play poker, grow roses, cook, and fish. He has a nice, but old 19-foot bass boat, he keeps on a nearby lake. Sarah: Rich and us also have together a two-year old Collie named Ginsburg – Anniemi: Ginney for short - Ruth Bader Ginsburg for long, Corey: Ginney comes in and out of our story regularly, Casey: and usually with glee! Corey: There is also as a central player, Dr. Marvin. He has been our psychiatrist for the last 23 years. He practices out of the University of Illinois – Chicago (UIC). Dr. Marvin is a professor of Clinical Psychiatry, and still sees a few patients. Lissa: He is the director of Residency Training and Education Program for UIC. His feats are the practices of episode psychosis, residency training and education, psychodynamic psychotherapy, HIV psychiatry, and information technology. He has won the American Board of Psychiatry and Neurology Research several times. Ann: And, as you can tell, we are proud of him. Anniemi: If we were to guess we would say he is in his late forty’s, Casey: and extremely handsome, Sarah: but taken! Corey: We talk to Dr. Marvin twice weekly (Tuesdays/Thursdays) for an hour each session. Since the pandemic, sessions have been through the computer. Ann: One day we will ask a busy Rich to drive us in to see Dr. Marvin. Kate: Dr. Marvin writes, “visiting notes” which we give to you, in great abundancy. Jesse: We hope it helps all of us find understanding around “the meaning of life,” in general. Corey: I have introduced us, but in a softer manner, we would like to say a few more things about us. We are sixty-three body years of age, a Multiple, and am a white American of mixed heredity. Anniemi: Within, of course, we are of varying ages. Corey: Initially we were 3-months up to our current body age. There are twenty of us, Anniemi: all with unique names, Corey: but we rarely call each other out. If it is your turn to front … you just say the next sentence, or other response. Otherwise, I do the most written communication. There are quite a few editors. Ann: We are a Mother, Grandmother, and retired on disability. Corey: Previously, I worked twelve years at a center which trained adults with developmental disabilities. Ann: Prior to that, we were raising our family and learning to get along on our own, with kids, after the divorce. Ayn: I do have a psychology degree and have written one book. Ann: I have three adult sons, they are all married, and between them we have seven grandchildren from <1-year, to 22-years of age. We are in extreme love with our family members. Corey: Most of our time now is with Nihit, Rich, Dr. Marvin, and Ginney. Ann: In the US … kids are more independent as they raise their own families. Ahh, but
  8. 8 | P a g e there are always the

    holidays, and I do get calls sometimes when they are driving home to their various homes by themselves. Casey: Yay! Ann: My sons are so cool! So, then we start… ### Good Morning Jamie: Sleep was rugged. Corey: We fell asleep to television - news after about 7:30PM. Sarah: Then there was Ginney, who we had forgotten to put to sleep. Anniemi: She was up at 11:00PM. At that point, we drove ourselves to bed-bed. Corey: Then at 3AM we got up and could not fall back asleep, Kelsie: so, stayed up on the couch at 3:30AM to 5:30AM reading news on our phone, Corey: and then from that time to present (6:09AM) Kelsie: we have been playing with our new journal until 8:10AM. Jamie: So, sleep shoddy. Casey: - Rich is coming home! Anniemi: We are going to miss Nihit waking up and falling asleep with us. Casey: Grrr. No fair! I want both! - One phrase to rule them all → Kelsie: I want to be the kind of person who gets up, gets going, does a lot of work, and does not complain. Jamie: Much. Ayn: I want to be super appreciative of Nihit. He has taken on the lion share of assisting us in getting through time "by ourselves." I think we both at times relied on Ginney. Anniemi: I know we were the ones still being Annes', but I cannot tell you how appreciating it is to talk to someone who understands our benefits and doubts as much as Nihit. Corey: We seem to flip back and forth over the rough spots, especially on leader and/or follower. Ayn: It is still all good. Corey: For the last two-weeks, we have been collaborating with a temp nurse/practioner. Sarah: It was a good week of learning to balance and achieve new heights, while exploring a few depths! - I can be cautious about Corey: - One situation that might trip us up is laundry, Henry: and how we would deal with that is ... as last night, we set ourselves up for a good bout of it! Corey: With Nihit's help, we brought in the laundry from bedroom to laundry room, we pulled out the rack, then we got the hangers from the closet, and last put them in our special order. Sarah: Those are all things we do in process, but it will be nice today to just then start with tipping the clothes into the machines. - Eagle's eye view → Jamie: You are doing fine. Jesse: What could have been an ordeal, you, Nihit, and Ginney pulled off in fine style. Sarah: As to extra sparkly stuff? Do not forget to pay attention to the numbers. For example, now that we have eaten Froot Loops, 218 mg/dL. Not too bad. - Daring Task → Anniemi: I can learn about the CULTURAL Diversity that Nihit is talking about. He is one of the wisest diverse of knowledgeable personalities I know. I would like to think, I am becoming the better more understanding person. ### Cerebrate - 05:38 → Casey: I am smart too! Corey: These are the morning’s tasks: 1) Anniemi: Get up too early though had tried to sleep 2) Kelsie: Found our phone and used from 30% to 2% -> then charged 3) Kelsie: Caught up on the political fallout from the Trump court papers
  9. 9 | P a g e 4) Henry: Let Ginney

    out 5) Casey/KC: Found cereal and drinks, plus shared with Ginney 6) Corey: Found the new JOURNAL stuff from Nihit!!!! Kate: Annemarie and Us are feeling surprisingly good. Ann: Our sweetie is coming back today - THOUGH we will complain ... we will still be happy. Corey: Nihit has been caring for us during the last couple of weeks while Dr. Marvin was away. Lissa: He is coming back Tuesday at 1PM! - 07:51 → Corey: Right now, we are just getting a sense of order. Lissa: Dr. Marvin is going to be thrilled we are doing something on the journaling path. AND, that it is in Obsidian. We are loving this. AND so, I would include this as to cerebrating! ### Consume - 05:44 → Kelsie: This morning we read the court subpoena making it legal to do a search for incriminating documents at Trump's Mar-a-Lago. We listened to primarily CNN discuss it when it came out yesterday, but early this morning before the phone had a low battery, we read the redacted version. There is a super amount there, even though about two-thirds redacted. - 05:57 → Corey: We are really excited by this new note system from Nihit. I do not know which vault it will land in, but for now we are doing good with it having an independent vault. Kelsie: It is about a half hour later and we are still discovering all the things that we can add and where. Corey: I like the white background too ... that and the calm, cool lettering. It is a change-up from dark backgrounds. - 05:59 → Sarah: Where did the last note go? AHA! Found it - CONSUME! - 07:48 → Kelsie: We have not moved past the reading we did this morning on the subpoena. Lissa: But we did list as a something to do this morning in Amazing Marvin that we should read the research - anything for at least 30 minutes. Corey: This was an add on from kristina. Sarah: We are feeling a little remorse in not getting to talk to her ... we did leave it so that we could write to her over the weekend, and that we would copy it to Dr. Marvin. Lissa: I believe Dr. Marvin will be back in the office on Monday, but theoretically, he is still out. Jamie: We have already said our figurative good-byes to kristina. Corey: We know she will not be reading anything we sent until Monday morning early. Lissa: Not for sure who has us on Monday – both? ### Connect - 05:47 → Corey: We have not talked to anyone this morning yet other than Ginney. Ayn: She has been a good girl Jamie: THOUGH she woke us up at 11:30PM to go to the bathroom. KC: SOOOO, we woke HER up at 5:00AM when WE had to go to the bathroom. Casey: Right now, we are enjoying sharing Froot Loops with her! Jamie: She is enjoying her role too! - Corey: We learned that she can be of good company. KC: We silently drop a few Froot Loops every time we reach for a handful. Ann: It is a natural conversation between and old woman and her puppy! Anniemi: I learned as we have continued to learn especially this last week without both Rich and Dr. Marvin, that we are one with Ginney. I have learned too that if she is giving me the beady eye on my right ... Sarah: It is a promising idea to give her the treats on her left. Casey: She is watching us closely! KC: BUT no more, means no more!
  10. 10 | P a g e - 07:45 → Corey:

    We connected with Nihit in the morning < 7:30AM. Ann: We spent time with the kids, and we got laundry started. Corey: We had already started the journal, so we looked at that and made a few improvements Kelsie: (such as name changed) Corey: Then Nihit went to finish some of his work and now we are back to journaling. Anniemi: Dr. Marvin is going to love it. Kate: Later, we will go over it to see if there are any other questions we would like to add to its structure, Sarah: but right now, first discovery is grand! Corey: We are also starting the day with a positive outlook because we did not go too far with Nihit before we both got to work. I think. Sarah: We are doing writing as we should. Casey: Nihit is throwing a ball in his room. Jamie: We might have to cut into that soon! > Sarah: We could have done better with our numbers and food. We had started with Froot Loops, and then while the numbers were still low 200's, we started grapes as well. Now @ 7:55AM we are at 181 mg/dL. So far, it is not too bad, but Nihit has us being incredibly careful. Kelsie: Oh, also ... we should start working on a review for Dr. Marvin INCLUDING our review of Nihit. > Anniemi: Hey You! We are getting through the first night with Rich home! Ayn: Excellent! Ann: It is going to be tough. Good chance he is going to be cranky, but WE can do it! Sarah: Hey! Wouldn't it be nice too if you wrapped Jaxsyn's gifts? They are in Rich's room. > Ann: We are thinking that meant to say Anne but let us go with hey - between Nihit and us - it has been a great run. Anniemi: I hate to think we will need to wait another year to get this kind of time together with Nihit, but it has been really a vacation WITH him. Sarah: He is whether he likes it or not ... a BLESSING! ## 2022-08-27 - Evidence 1D – Catch You Up
  11. 11 | P a g e Two-Week Note to Dr.

    Marvin 8:51AM → Corey: Hi Dr. Marvin, I thought we should start writing you to catch up with all that has been happening, Lissa: getting us to the point, we are extremely happy you are home and available. Right? Corey: Two-weeks has been an exceptionally long time. Kate: It was a good thing to have been able to talk/write to kristina. Anniemi: BUT she is not you. Jamie: I do not think that was a secret all along. Kate: I did enjoy getting to know her, and I would not mind talking to her if she was available again while you were out. Ayn: It would be good to evaluate my being on my own too, just she made everything so much easier. The important thing was in the group feeling safer. Corey: If you have read the above sections, you know the biggest part was that Nihit was here for me. Corey: In the meantime, Nihit decided to start seeing his own psychologist. Ayn: It is quite different. I think psychologists in India are more towards ... these are the things you are doing wrong, now just get over it. Kate: There is no doubt that if Nihit continued his thoughts on going into children's psychiatry, that USA would be a better place to be. Ayn: Therapists are much more appreciated here. Kate: Nihit would have much to learn about theory, Anniemi: but I believe in him AND his interest in watching over children. 11:29AM Corey: Hey Dr. Marvin ... Casey: We are back. KC: We were doing ok, but then Ginney went out and had a bad barking spell, when two older women and a child in a carriage came past (the way that surprises her). I had control of her before they came around when the car passed, Casey: but the two women and child were a surprise. KC: I took my hand and closed her mouth with my left hand. I do not like getting physical, but I have seen Rich doing it and it seemed the better choice. Jamie: I did not want the one and a half to two-year-old afraid of the dog or going out for walks. KC: I brought her in right away, but we were shaking and got permission to take a buspirone an hour early. We talked to Nihit, and he tried to help us reframe the situation, you know like reconsider getting help for her. We were in a downward spiral. We ended up going to the television for images and turned on some garbage expensive real estate show on Netflix. It is still playing in the background. We just got back from a more successful trip for Ginney. Casey: We had one success and one fail, KC: but in the meantime, she went to the bathroom, and we brought her in - there was a car, so the barking was not as bad as with people. Casey: The part of the TV was that we sat on the couch with her. AND, while we were talking to Nihit, in-between things - he recommended, and we followed with Anna and Gracie petting Ginney and giving her some love Casey: figuring that they and Ginney would be scared by everything too. Corey: At Nihit's advise, we are now waiting on the 11AM Buspirone until 3PM. Casey: Just gotta relax. Corey: We had scheduled this time to be writing to you. Corey: I do not know if kristina shared the emails between us over the couple of weeks, but I was faithful (one misstep) about writing to her regularly. Sarah: It was a good focusing exercise for us. Corey: Nothing overly deep, but there was a wide variety. Some in the past, some in the present like you and Rich being gone. Sarah: I had the general feeling that the best way to manage past triggers, was that she did not want
  12. 12 | P a g e to go there. Jamie:

    A safe bet. Sarah: She talks a lot more than you, and liked offering easy practical solutions, but low depth. Anniemi: I do not mean to insult here just you make me think harder for what I should be doing. I felt a bit compelled to pay attention. But in the meantime, it was different from being with you. She was also more apt to talk about herself as examples. That was different for me. I know I talk a lot, but she wanted to break that up. Sarah: A little more competitive of time. Corey: There was one unfortunate thing that happened. On I believe the second session, I became aware of our over distraction with an extremely uncomfortable cleavage. Anna: We had a tough time focusing and Gracie: and were honest with her. Anna: We did not mean to upset her. I was hoping she would help us, Gracie: but instead, she zippered her outer sweat suit, Anna: like she could not manage us. She held her hands together at her neck, and I did not know how to make it better. Casey: She was nice enough and said it was a good thing we felt comfortable enough to say something. Anna: We talked about how safe you made us feel. And we did understand her trying to help ... Gracie: but we felt bad that it had come up and that we made such a mess of it. KC: "It" being an extremely uncomfortable sexual situation. At this point, we need to discuss the situation with you. Anna: But we do not want to.
  13. 13 | P a g e #2022-08-28 ## 2022-08-28 -

    Evidence 1E – Let Us Think About What It Means ### Cerebrate - 11:45 → Corey: I am not sure if cooked is bad or good ... I am going to think that it means - something that is hot in our brain right now. Ann: And, for that I would have to say that my brain is "cooked" on Rich being home. He watched his fishy shows from 5AM - 10AM and then he went into his "doing" mode. Corey: I was working at the time - reading (after the Sunday Council meeting ending at 10AM), Ann: but when I asked him about 11:15AM if there was anything he needed from me, he said a dry, "No, I got it." Jamie: So, we left it there. Ann: A few moments ago (he was ironing his collars), I asked him to turn off the TV for a second, or did he already know about the storms/tornados coming our way tonight and tomorrow. He did turn off the TV with a little complaint and said he had heard something. But he was not admitting to knowing about tornado danger or winds up to 75MPH. My fear is that beside our house blowing away, also one of our tall trees falling on our home. Jamie: We are a little defensive of his taking over with an "attitude." We are like we did without the attitude for a week, and we do not want it back! Sarah: God bless the folks with patience and a sense of humor! Casey: Is that us? KC: Maybe? Casey: Could we talk about it? KC: Oh, that was it. Jamie: Ok, folks move along! ### Consume - 12:29 → Corey: We have not watched anything since we fell asleep to the TV last night. Casey: We did listen to easy-going pop while taking a shower this morning. Lissa: AND we read just a short while ago. The free online PDF book was "How to Make Notes and Write" - Easy 138 pages by Dan Allosso and S. F. Allosso (father and son). - Corey: We looked at the intro and the first chapter. It gave a spread of the land as to following the same kind of PKM (Personal Knowledge Management) - people who think of productivity as we do, including the course with Nick Milo we are taking right now with Nihit. Lissa: It also goes over Luhmann the guy who made Zettlekasten famous for writing summarily and then pulling personalized notes together for great works of personal written art. Corey: He also knew the age-old lesson, that if you want to be a writer, you must be writing ... Sarah: and so, here we are! ### Connect - 12:39 → Corey: This morning, we also had a nice talk at the Co-x3 Sunday Council Meeting. It was a comfortable group that grew as time went on. During our part of the conversation, we talked about the time over the last two weeks without Dr. Marvin and Rich. There were difficulties, a few funny spots, but the majority was about how Nihit and us did time together. Anniemi: There was an addition, in that Nihit added later. I am sure the others at the meeting are either bored, or curious about our relationship. I am not sure if I want to know which way it goes. Lissa: BUT we do seem to be working through our productivity issues, so that all is good.
  14. 14 | P a g e Corey: We mentioned these

    daily notes - journaling. Anniemi: Ben called them Macro-something ... but I am not sure. I do not have a good title for them, except that they are part of a journal. Corey: We did include Kristina, and Nihit added Ginney, and how important she was, Sarah: and he included loneliness which is a word we seem to have been working through, but did famously well with, with help. Ann: We do remember that Rich called daily, though his stories were about fishing and the guys. Corey: Rich got home about 6PM last night, and it is almost 1PM the next day now, AND he has not asked how we are, or how things were. Ann: I am sure he believes he heard it all in the short conversations over the week without realizing most the conversation were again about him and his trip. - Corey: From the conversations, I must and will always appreciate receiving feedback from the group. But mostly, we are impressed with the relationship/family feelings that we had with Nihit. We kept each other solid. Jamie: Except of course the roasting of him not carrying on his tasks, which were different, but paralleled our work time - TWO TIMES IN A ROW! How is that even possible! Sarah: Total NEGLECT! Corey: I contributed to the conversation by giving good examples of where we were, and in talking with others about where they were/are. Anniemi: We add to the discussions and try to input a little humor in it as an aside. Corey: We will always be known for someone who asks questions. We like thinking of whatever, and then another part will jump in stating most often something obvious, though off-track from something close to the situation. Anniemi: It usually gives a good sense of release, and I know if we have made Joshwin laugh we are all good. Sarah: I can always hear him laugh! Anniemi: I love our role, even though sometimes seemingly silly. Sometimes it gets a little tense too, as we wait to see if someone has caught our sense of humor. Mostly it is fine. #2022-08-29
  15. 15 | P a g e ## 2022-08-29 - Evidence

    1F – Certain Writing Spiral ### Day In Review Corey: It is now 12:53PM and we realize we are in that certain spiral where we are writing and do not really want to stop. So now that it is the afternoon, we are continuing our thoughts. Ann: There is a big thunderstorm going on around us. We are doing ok, but it does not help with goals where we must leave the safety of the keyboard. Kate: We should be cleaning, working on the avoidance paper, or watching the LYT material first week! Lissa: Then later we are either and/or reading the PDF on notes/writing, or quilting. Ann: Everything is extremely dark because of the thunderstorm. Too much electricity in the air to focus on sewing. I would say the day is half and half. Lissa: We are in that worrying stage of thinking is not Dr. Marvin EVER coming back. AND getting things done. Jamie: Ok, that is enough. Move along. - 13:00 → Kelsie: I have started listening to some of the news on YouTube. I am not sure if that is a decent course. The video is "TDR Live: Trump Demands IMMEDIATE NEW ELECTION." I had to see if that was real. He does not seem to want to wait until 2024. He is going to want to be President, so people stop taking him to court. I guess this has been an adjustment. Lissa: Going back to goals, we are going to do next the next part of Week 2 with Nick Milo. I know we saw part of his first video for the week, so we will catch up from there. Let us finish then, ok?! Casey: OHHHH and someone whispered quietly to us. KC: Rich just called asking to pull out of the refrigerator some chicken. - Corey: As to winning the task? Working with Nihit, setting our own goals, and then carrying them out has been a win the day task. We want to keep going to see how far we can take it. A win the day task, we would now (Lissa: see Conrad and Nihit) accomplish at least 80%. We really do have to then, get past our writing for one period. ### Morning Pages KC: Only thirty-two seconds to being able to talk to Nihit! Casie: Puppy tail wagging! ### Good Morning Jamie: Sleep last night was good, but we woke up struggling to get to the washroom in time. I think we woke-up about 11PM, and then again by 4:30AM. Anniemi: Rich finally woke us about 7AM. KC: Ginney laid across my stomach without us remembering much about how she got there. Casey: We were sitting in the recliner. We asked Rich and he said that Ginney had been sleeping on us for about an hour. Swoosh – time just sped by. Jamie: Think Ginney has "mommy issues." - Lissa: I feel excited about being a fresh new week and being able to start new goals! In particular ... we want to journal/write and correspond with Dr. Marvin TOMORROW! We want to finish Week two in Nick Milo's LYT material, and we want to start again on the quilting. Ann: I think we have decided to send the "quilting part" to NY again to grandma eddie, if he will take it. - One phrase to rule them all → Henry: I want to be a reasonable responsible person. Which means that we are going to need soon committing to taking our shower. Sarah: It bothers us that we have a cosmetic problem on our face. Nihit noticed it today as us having a spot of chocolate on our chin. I knew he would
  16. 16 | P a g e see it and ask

    eventually, but it was hard. He was making it as easy as he could. Corey: So, today we want to be the kind of person that says - "Ok, we leaned on our face too much and it caused our face to break down. Jamie: We can deal with it. Kate: Next step might be to ask Dr. Dorman if we can see the back doctor about pain again. It is noticeable how much leaning over we are doing. Henry: I realize that we have a harder time than we should sitting up straight enough so when at the computer, I do not have to hold ourselves up because the back is tired of sitting straighter. Corey: Ok, this needs to be checked out. Casey: Nihit is back from taking his shower ... we are incredibly happy, KC: but had to tell him, he had eight minutes left - now seven. He said, "oh sure." It is ok ... Anniemi: I am hoping it is time he can get into developing his next task. Of course, we will talk a few moments when the time clears up. Corey: But until then ... just must play things out. I am going to be a patient person today – Sarah: and good for someone else. Corey: Yup, Nihit is directly in that path. - I can be cautious about - Henry: We are amazed by Amazing Marvin. I would deal with a diversion by putting the diversion on Amazing Marvin, rearranging, and then clearing our consciousness with the changes that inevitably happened. Sarah: We all have goals we have to be patient with ourselves. Henry: The new idea is that whoever has a goal needs to record it - EVEN if it sounds like a diversion. - Eagle's eye view → Corey: If we were high above us in leadership or ability, I would like someone to reach down and say, "Hey, can I help you with that?" Anniemi: Hehe He would look like Dr. Marvin. Kate: Soon - soon. Casey: The hour is going to go by SOOOO fast! KC: We will be glad there is a following appointment two days later. Ayn: I would like to say speaking to each of us - THAT, we are incredibly happy to make it through this cycle ... we did good, so thank you for your impact! - Daring Task → Corey: As well, I would like to go Boldly forward by saying, "Hey Nihit! The two of us really had a momentous day!" ### Cerebrate - 09:14 → Lissa: The light bulb moment is that Nihit and us can talk, but we can also choose to take care of our projects and goals (through tasks). We were being accountable. Anniemi: Go Team “NA!” Sarah: Ok, I can bend here Nihit! Help us produce a name. What is our name as a team? Henry: I am interested in us as a team becoming a force of relevance. Corey: Today, we are as positively moving forward as our thoughts will allow. Might as well be someone who can write these daily thoughts with a good beginning – Sarah: followed by an exclamation point! - 13:28 → Jamie: Load of crap? Hey a “formal” question. Looking, looking ... where could we find a load of crap? For now, I cannot seem to see it. Anniemi: We cerebrated I believe goals between Nihit and ourselves. ### Consume - 09:22 → Corey: My only credit goes to listening to Nihit. We talked one and a half to two-hours. Lissa: I know ... AND THEN, we both got some work done WOOHOO!
  17. 17 | P a g e Corey: We talked first

    about our situation here at home, especially the family members Rich and our son, Joe. Ann: I do not believe that Nihit feels I have as much respect as I should have as a mother. I must agree with him in the direction of how he is looking at it. But there is more to it. Corey: We talked about being there for others at a moment’s notice. And, if we really needed the boys enough to take them away from their own family duties, Jamie: we explained if there were something, we needed someone for, we would have to ask directly, and they would find a way to be here. But WITH the conscious knowledge that we would be taking that person away from his family, or interests. Ayn: I believe in India where Nihit is from, family has much more direct relevance to each other. Ann: Here, at least for me, it was important that my family (kids) always be independently able to care for themselves and live for their families. Corey: We did clear that Rich was finally able to "LISTEN" to us talk about the time when he was away, though he did not have questions or comments. Ann: He did listen and understand that during the week, there was not much attention given to my experiences, and I needed time to express outward with him and to catch up with things that were relevant to our well-being. And, we had left a note asking Joe to call for a general check-in conversation with a three-day grace period. Corey: He called yesterday early afternoon. He was coming home from something WITH no kids in the car. Ayn: We allowed the conversation to be open with Nihit listening, Corey: which gave us (Nihit and Us) the opportunity to go over things afterward. Ann: I like comparing and sharing thoughts! Lissa: Then we talked about Nihit's family and the things they have been going through. Jamie: There is a little drama in that they all seem close to whatever others are doing or thinking, and they each - including kids, have an opinion about it. I do not think outwardly Nihit appreciates what his family members think of him, but we think his role is significant. It is like you are running and hit the brick wall. He is going to stop anyone in his path and ask them to be clearly conscientious about their meanings. I told him they might not appreciate him, but sincerely, they respect him. Sarah: He is an honor. Lissa: Afterward, we both set our goals, and that is what is happening now! - 10:09 → Corey: I want a quick capture to this daily note, that I like what is happening. I would also like to place in it a few extra questions for myself. I might go elsewhere to find the questions, or I might try to focus on something more specific. 14 seconds ... hold on. Corey: Ok, we are all set up ... we listed our "next thoughts," on the situation. Jamie: I know we are taking-up the rule of an authoritarian, and Nihit will run/hide the rest of the day. AND maybe when he is gone, he will get many things done to show me. Casey: We are giggling ... that will be ok too. But KC and Me are still assuring him that we still LOVE HIM A LOT! - 13:16 → Sarah: This morning, we took our muffin first thing. Rich got four blueberry which I prefer rather than mix two of them with two chocolate chips. I had a half potato already baked, and then we had grapes prior to lunch. Lunch was two ham sandwiches. And you are now up to date. Corey: As to life consumption, we were going with Nihit over new structure. Lissa: We are sharing with each other to help us both be accountable. Corey: The other part of the day is that we did a lot of writing. I do appreciate that we are writing, thinking again. Kelsie: I am having the greatest time although spending an amount of time with editing. I just must be careful not to become obsessive.
  18. 18 | P a g e Corey: Actual learning is

    that I have terrific belief in Nihit, and that at some point, he is going to be comfortable with doing what he sets out to do. Sarah: That which is of his choosing, not anyone else’s. I would say the same for us. Corey: One more thing that we thought about ... was what would happen if we started writing our "book" material here in the journal. That way we could discuss more of what we are learning, tailor our questions to answer the new needs, but could be doing the kind of writing like this that we enjoy, knowing we could gather any of this for the book. It also helped us with “tense.” Sarah: We know our major audiences would be for now Dr. Marvin and Nihit, but there are thoughts that would help us with having an "audience" to focus on – beside each other. Corey: So that would mean at least for now that we do not worry of formal writing style or novel style, and just stick to what we do best. We write blogish type journals. Sarah: I like this new format a lot! This is what we have learned to do well. ### Connect - 09:44 → Corey: We are very frustrated. We had written our entire section of whom and what. And, then we dismissed those thoughts because then we could read them later. Sarah: BUT we accidently erased the sentences. Shoot, shoot. Corey: In the process though we accidentally erased a couple paragraphs with CTRL Z trying to find the material. FORTUNATELY, we had good sense to Google how to redo CTRL Z and we found that CTRL Y, would do the trick! Casey: WooHOO! That is a win for our side. Corey: Whatever our with "whom" was about and "what" it was before, we are changing now the whom to be Nihit, and what, to be about his behavior. Sarah: We must work on our own frustration level. Jamie: There was repercussion if he did not follow through after telling me he would. Corey: He did not want to take the first consequence, so he took the second which is more personally disturbing. I know it is the behavior not chosen we were really frustrated with. How could he do this. Why did he do this. I was doing what I was supposed to be doing. Jamie: This was the same complaint we had yesterday. Corey: So, he got a thirty-minute time out from Kate. Anniemi: This is not terrible, but right now it feels like it to me. It is like being in a prison and the wall between visitor and jail bird just snapped shut. Jamie: You knew you were not going to see him for a while anyway. Corey: In the end it was disruptive. Sarah: Things closed so suddenly. - Corey: learned that we were tough enough to conduct the "punishment/exercise," Jamie: but wise enough to know that there must be consequences between us as "very close family members," so that we are better able to do as we stated we would. Corey: The goals were moments away from taking place. I am hoping that he is taking a shower now because he has his screen down too. He can read this. Jamie: Ahh, we figured we better take that down too (17 minutes left to go). Corey: I could see him, watching me write, and then quickly jumping in the shower. Anniemi: I am afraid the punishment can go on and on where we keep adding half-hours. Kate: We are going to add a new element. He will always have the choice to choose coloring brain parts or losing me for thirty-minute increments. If the thirty-minutes ends, and he still has not showered, he will get another thirty-minutes. BUT the new part is that if he wants to break the spell of thirty-minutes of not completing his direct and immediate stated goal - he can color one page. Or color for thirty- minutes, whichever is
  19. 19 | P a g e least. But then the

    punishments will stop. His goal will or will not be completed. Corey: Or if the reverse were true, same for me. We would be utilizing accountability responsibility. Corey: Later, Nihit and us added in Guilded, the following: Kate: After this last consequence is over, then the floor is all clear to however you and I would like to continue with anything, or nothing ... but we will both move on. If we both break our goals, then there is a separation of 1 hour until BOTH sets of goals are complete. 12:28 PM Corey: My contribution to the conversation is that when needed, we can be tough. Jamie: We are also fair. This was something agreed to. Both of us volunteered our own goals for ourselves. Corey: I know I will also contribute to the conversation after these periods, because if Nihit wants to talk about any part of the conversation that comes with having a goal and then directly rejecting it, we will. Jamie: I would rather talk about his next goal but if the barriers become too much ... the former HAS to happen first. Jamie: There are now 3 minutes left. At that time, I will open my microphone, video camera and screen sharing. UNLESS, he still has not completed his stated goal. I do not know if this is good or bad - but right now that is where the frustration level is. Ok, you ... continue. Corey: Next part or what needs to be journaled - 13:09 → Corey: We had connected a lot to Nihit this morning, but we are both onto our own goals. I know too he is going to need eating, but we are hoping he does something on his wish list as well as us. Ann: We just connected with Erin. She asked about our name on the invitations. It is where our money is going. YAY! We said if there is confusion, we will go with Ann Ludford Garvey, as she suggested, but that our legal name is Ann Garvey. I hope she goes with the latter. It is my choice if I must choose. #2022-08-30 ## 2022-08-30 - Evidence 1G – On Schedule To Be On Schedule ### Morning Pages
  20. 20 | P a g e Corey: We should get

    going soon ... we are on schedule to be on schedule! ### Good Morning Jamie: Sleep was good, I think. Some nightmares including the bathroom nightmares again of being around where bathrooms are not common. The nightmare bathrooms are disgusting, and dark. But then we were back moving through a couple class rooms where teachers were lecturing and going through one door, we met Stephen Colbert. We were shocked. We had on white gloves, and we put our left hand on his right cheek. We said, "Stephen Colbert! We watch you every night." He looked at us a second and then indicated he had other stuff. We went from there to bad bathrooms again. Corey: Rich said we rose our hands and said in our sleep Stephen Colbert. He teased us this morning about knowing things we think of without even trying. It was telepathic. Even Nihit had to giggle! - Lissa: DR. MARVIN IS BACK WITHIN FIVE-MINUTES! - One phrase to rule them all → Tired from all the talking - I can be cautious about - We talk so much we do not get to hear Dr. Marvin - Eagle's eye view → Ayn: It is going to be ok! - Daring Task → Sarah: We can do it, we can!!! ### Cerebrate - 10:09 → Anniemi: My brain is thinking that we just got tired talking to Nihit - there has been so much excitement ... it might have been a couple of hours or more. We were both getting to the point, but we are like two little kids with so much to talk about because we had to both go to sleep at our separate homes. Sarah: We are so excited when we get to talk to Nihit. There is a sense of an emotional reprieve ... like the world is going to be ok again. Corey: We talked about how we were doing, plus medical, and then about his therapist appointment, his Mom's conversation, and how he and us were doing in general. Casey: I am seeing Aanya and Vitti right now ... Aanya has her new tiger, and Vitti had the little ball he uses for soccer. Corey: They just flew somewhere else in India to get their green card interview, and everything is ok. We are all exaggerated in family chatter, but the bottom line is that their father will come to the US within a couple of weeks. And the family, by the end of the year, and poor Nihit ... he will come like three times next year - he can come and go for 6 months each time. Casey: I am incredibly sad we do not get to see him earlier. Corey: We are not sad about that right now ... we just needed to write a while; I think. Our head was so full. Corey: Anne and Nihit are on two very slow-moving trains. We can connect online, and we talk continuously, but it is taking forever for us to connect in real time. Anniemi: I cannot even imagine how wonderful that will be.
  21. 21 | P a g e Corey: Change - family

    AND Nihit might both come to the US March, next year :) :) :) :) ### Consume - 11:50 → Corey: Most of the "research" material in "reading, listening, or watching," was about Nihit and us. There is so much to talk about, and then later his aunt joined the conversation and all that was good too. We shied away from talking to the kids when Nihit was not in the room or had set up the conversation. Casey: Twice Vitti came to the computer, but we had turned off our open mic, video, and screen. KC: I felt the need to be private, and I do not want to be the one the cousins come to directly. I want Nihit to be more in charge of that. I am Nihit's family first. - 12:32 → Anniemi: I know someone is going to blurt out to Dr. Marvin that the lady was showing too much cleavage. Right now, we cannot remember her name. I am too lazy to look it up. Only 20 minutes to Dr. Marvin. KC: We had to finally turn Ginney's TV down. We figured she was getting tired of it because her head was laying on the arm with her nose toward us. Casey: I do not know what else to tell Dr. Marvin - except we will be glowing that he is home. NO MOPEY parts out! Grr. ### Connect - 11:54 → Anniemi: Ok, you know we have been talking to Nihit, but soon, we are also going to be talking to Dr. Marvin. About an hour away now. I am so excited; I do not know what to do. Corey: Ahh another Nihit encounter. Anniemi: I am already forgetting ... He talked mostly about the dinner he and his aunt ordered in. Corey: Her husband and BIL went out for dinner, and then they will come in and Nihit and his aunt and her sister will go out for ice cream while the other males watch kids. Anniemi: One of the things I told Nihit before he left was that Ginney saw a dog on TV yesterday, that she really seemed to like. Casey: Nihit said we could find Dog TV on YouTube and sure enough. KC: There was an entire station just for Dog TV. She is watching it while the dogs are on screen and then they go deeper into the forest, or up above trees and it gives the dogs a chance to rest ... I am thinking that is the way it is, or that they do not get bored. Casey: She is loving watching the white and black dog trot through various woods. - Sarah: My contribution was making a two-minute video of everything. We have it loading now. We will show it to Nihit somehow. We will post it on Facebook. That seems a promising idea. That is my contribution to giving this happiness to everyone. Just checked not loaded yet. *Sigh* Pretty soon.